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Thursday, May 31, 2012

"And The Sonics Roll...And the Lightening Strikes"

Long ago in  a time when the Informer was known as a “Drunken Fact Wizzard Machine” his buddies started calling him the book…

By buddies the Informer means Dr. Tom Mitch….

Basically they started calling him the book because he would read something on ESPN on gambling and say well the book says…

Fast forward two weeks and the “Drunken Wizzard” is back…

Listen Charles Barkley and the Book always say a series does not start until a home team loses….

Well in the case of the Thunder vs. Spurs this series just started because a home team not only won but put a whopping on the road team…

Now the Informer was going to start this blog in the third quarter thinking the Spurs are going to come back and win this game because that Sefaloshish Guy shot the ball six straight times….Missing five…

Of course that Sofalicious Guy kept shooting and started making everything he shot…

Making this game three win about what a great job he did defensively and also in the words of Reggie Miller “Found Money” offensively…

The Informer is not going to rain on the parade..

But the seofalicious Guy giving you offense maybe found money….but dear god its “Fools Gold”…

See what the Informer did there…He took Reggie Millers analogy and turned it on its head…That’s why he is the Informer people…

Listen there was a point in the third quarter where Sefalocishi and Ibaka took 8 straight shots….

That means  Durant Harden and Westbrook where not even shooting….

Listen he started making his shots (sorry the Informer is tired of trying to spell that guys name)…

The Sonics played Iblockseveryshot more minutes..

Kendrick Perkins played amazing defense…

And the Thunder blew out the hottest team in basketball…

Which means…

We have a series people….

But the Thunder are not going to win this series if Thefoshaolish thinks he is the reason they are wining…The Sonics need Westbrook and Harden and of Course Durant….

And mark the Informer’s words…

Barring injury..

Win or Lose its over…

The Informer is not talking about this series…

He is talking about the greatest scorer in the history of the NBA…

The 3 time scoring champ who is younger then one of the Informers younger brothers….

Kevin Durant is doing things with a basketball that should not be humanly possible…

The Informer was all over the Lakers series saying Artest is doing a good job stopping Durant>>>who still averaged 26 points a game…

Turns out the only thing stopping Durant is this unselfish gene…

Where he says o hey ill pass to this guy instead of shooting….

Because other then that nobody in the NBA is qualified to stop Durant…

And that Includes Lebron….

With that said The Informer is f*cking stoked that we at least have one series that will provide some intrigue…

Then again the home to has yet to lose in the Eastern Confrence Finals so you know what the book says…

THE NBA…ITS FANTASTIC…O AND ITS EVERYNIGHT…WHICH MEANS MRS. INFORMER WOULD SAY THE NBA ITS F*CKING ANNOYING CAUSE MY HUSBAND WONT COME TO SLEEP…

Lets just say the Sonics def needed to win tonight to justify watching basketball the next few days…

Just like the Celtics and the amazing Rando need to win tom night….

The Informer will be watching…

Monday, May 28, 2012

"Western Conference Finals Game 1"

“Hey Informer do you have any thoughts on the first game of the NBA Western Conference Finals…I mean the Sonics “Gave” that game away right?”

Well Mr. Fake Reader if getting outscored by over 10points in the fourth quarter is giving the game away then color the Sonics Green….O wait…

Anyways the Informer has a few random thoughts from game one….

First of all James Harden Meet Mr Manu Ginobli…

IN the Words of Charles Barkley…GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINOBLI……….

Yes Harden you were the sixth man of the year but Manu Ginobli is “THE” sixth man…

If that makes sense…

I mean did you see that three at the end of the first quarter…

Now the Informer isn’t going to call the Ginobli the best sixth man of all-time because..well…Kobe once won that award….

Speaking of Kobe…

Do you think Laker fans were watching Derek Fisher hit his first 6 shots thinking..“You know if Sessions could have made one of his first six the Lakers would have had a chance…”

Thank God Fisher missed his last two shots…

Even though the game was really over at that point the Informer was totally sick to his stomach watching Fisher play meaningful basketball and hitting big shots while Kobe is at home trying to tell Mr. Bum Bynum and cant shoot Sessions that its ok they cost him a playoff victory…

God the Informer hates basketball..

Kobe should still be playing…

F*ck You Andrew Bynum….

Sorry the Informer is back…

Can someone please explain to the Informer why in the Blue F*cking Hell Serge Ibaka only played six minutes in the second half…..

What?

The one guy on your team who blocks every shot…

Well the Spurs went small…..

That maybe true but Iblacka is one of the greatest  athletes in the NBA he can play if you go small….And you kept him on the bench so that Derek Fisher and Sefaloshish can play big minutes…

Listen you don’t need Fisher..You have Harden Durant and Westbrook….

You don’t need sefaloshish cause you have Harden Durant and Westbrook…

Here is a piece of advice Scotty Brooks or whatever your name is..>When you lead by 9 points in the 4th quarter you don’t change your game to match up with the other team…That’s  what they want you to do…You keep playing the Basketball that got you to that point…

Listen the Thunder blew this game…They got out coached…

Durant Harden and Westbrook were pretty quiet…

But at the end of the Day isn’t that what every team that ever loses to the Spurs says….

We were the better team we just lost…Pretty sure that is what every team has been saying for 13 years against Duncan…

At the end of the Day the Spurs won at home…

The Sonics gave one  away…

They better rebound Tuesday night because the Spurs are going to continue being the Spurs…
They have won something like 29-31 games…

(Informer Note the Spurs have won 19 straight games)

They are not going to be easy to beat…

Especially if you keep one of your starters on the bench for 18 minutes of the final 24 minutes…

For the love of God let Durant Harden and Westbrook score and let Perkins and Iblacka play defense…Leave everyone else on the bench…

Quit playing small ball and letting the Spurs play all there damn shooting guards and small forwards…

Play with your two bigs guys and put a six 9 Durant at small forward….That’s your mismatch…

Not playing small ball and letting Tim Duncan in the words of Kenny Smith “Get Easy Old Man Layups”…

Listen this series is going to either be a sweep by the Spurs or go seven games…

The Sonics need to remember how they got here…

It wasn’t by playing Sefaloshish in the fourth quarter the Informer can gurandamntee that….

On a side note Durant was making steals and blocks but was taking tough shots…Westbrook was making steals and missing tough shots…

The Sonics will not win unless those two dudes go “HAM”…

PS - The Informer has no idea what Going “HAM” means but everyone says it on twitter so the Informer is going to start using it…

Basically Durant you need to step up…Westbrook you need to step up….Harden you need to step up…And Scotty Brooks you need to f*cking play the guy who led the NBA in blocks..

The Informer gurantees it will make it harder for the SPURS to score….



Saturday, May 26, 2012

NFL GAMBLING RETURNS

“Hey Informer I saw the other day you tried to do some real blogging about the NBA and it made me LOL…That’s Laugh Out Lout….For God Sakes the Only thing your good at blogging for is NFL picks so I know who to fake bet against….Just give up trying to blog and give us something about gambling..P.S. You SUCK!!!”

You know what Mr. Fake Reader maybe you shouldn’t “SELL YOUR HAIR TO A WIG SHOP”

“AFTER YOU SELL YOUR HAIR TO A WIG SHOP YOU GET BORED…..WHEN YOU ARE BORED YOU GET ON FACEBOOK…WHEN YOU GET ON FACEBOOK YOU SEE A LINK FOR THE INFORMER…WHEN YOU CLICK ON LINK FOR INFORMER YOU GET GAMBLING ADVICE FROM SAID INFORMER….WHEN YOU GET GAMBLING ADVICE FROM INFORMER YOU GO TO VEGAS/ILLEGAL GAMBLING SITES AND PLACE WAGERS…WHEN YOU PLACE WAGERS WITH INFORMERS ADVICE YOU LOOSE ALL MONEY…WHEN YOU LOOSE ALL MONEY YOU HAVE TO TURN TRICKS WITH FAT CHICKS FOR RENT…..WHEN YOU HAVE TO TURN TRICKS WITH FAT CHICKS FOR RENT YOU GET HERPES…WHEN YOU GET HERPES IT BURNS WHEN YOU PEE…DON’T LET IT BURN WHEN YOU PEE…”

Informer what in the blue f*cking hell are you yapping about…

Well the Informer is trying to say if you don’t want to get herpes from unprotected intercourse with a skank you should probably stop reading this blog right now….

That’s right the Informer is about to tell you exactly how the NFL season is going to play out…In May…That’s how good the Informer is….

Yup we are going to go through the list of every teams chances to win or lose a certain amount of games this year….The Informer is going to take this opportunity to make his friends rich which will also give the Informer his chance to prove that he is basically the smartest sports mind in the world…..Which really was proven when he won his fantasy basketball league buy about 600 points but hey the Informer is not scared to keep proving himself over and over again….

Anyways..Which means shut the flying f*ck up and let the Informer finish his thought…

Here is the List of over and unders for every team in the NFL…

Lets start with Worst to first….

Cleveland Browns Over Under 5.5 Wins…..

See how easy this is people…

The Browns have as good of a chance of winning six game next year at the Informer has of losing ten pounds….

If McDonalds gave away free “Big Macs” the Informer would not be as excited as he is to put money on the Browns under…

Do you realize they had the 4th pick in the NFL draft and traded down to like the 16th? Not making that up which is good for next years draft because they got a ton of draft picks but does not bode well for them winning more then six games…

And that’s before the Informer asks if Colt McCoy is still there starting QB….

Informer Pick - - Seriously if you have 1,000 dollars take this bet..it’s a ten…

Jacksonville - - -5.5

There Quarterback is either going to be that Sunshine guy from “Training Day” Or whatever that movie was were Denzel Washington played that Black Head Coach…..Was that Training Day….

Anyways its either going be that guy or some guy named Chad Henne who couldn’t start for a Dolphins team that didn’t even have a QB….I think you know where the Informer is going with this…

Informer Pick - - Bet the Under…Listen the Jags did draft well..The have MJD..And they play in a shitty conference…So this is not a slam dunk like the Browns but come on whets they have one of the worst QB’s ever….

“Mr. Informer they do have a “Blackmon” though….”

Son of a Beeetch…Your right….You know what call the Informer high but…O I cant do it take the Under…

The Colts  -- 5.5
Peyton Manning in his Rookie year went 3-13.…

Andrew Luck is supposed to be Peyton Manning so this is going to be a 3-13 year which means under 5.5...

Guys the Colts are not winning more the six games next year…

On a side note the Informer just took 3 straight unders…You know the one bet that the Informer has never won….

And the Informer is trying to make you bet big…

Informer Pick - - Listen the Undertaker has a better chance of losing at Wrestle mania before the Colts win 6 games this year…

Tampa Bay - 6

This means that the Bucs have to win seven games….

Not sure but didn’t this Bucs team quit on there coach last year….

But the year before they finished with something like ten wins….

Enigma…Is it possible that Josh Freeman just had a case of Sophomore Slump…

Could the Bucs rebound in a division that got a touch weaker with the Saints whole “We Pay or Players To Hit Other Players hard” thingy….

Listen last year Tampa Bay started the season 4-2.…

That’s right they lost ten straight after quitting on there coach…

Which means…Rebound year….

Informer Pick - This feels like a 6-10 team but the Informer believes Josh Freeman can provide at least two wins which makes them 8-8 and you guessed it hitting the Over’s…

St. Louis -- 6

Sam Bradford…Steven Jackson…Good Home Crowd…The Question loves them…They still play in a week division…Last year everyone picked the Rams until injuries Mike Tyson’d them…

(Yes folks that is a R*pe joke…)

For some reason this feels like it could be a good Rams team…They now have a good coach in that Fisher guy who always won at Tennessee…

Then again remember two years ago when the Rams had a chance to win their division as a 7 win team….

Well seven wins is more then 6 wins…And couldn’t Bradford have just been in a sophomore slump…

Informers Pick - Take the Under on this one…and hope to all that is holy when the Rams are 6-8 they pack in their season and finish 6-10 giving you a push…

But they are not good enough to put money on them to win 7 games…Sorry…

Minnesota - - 6.5

Listen the Informer is going to go ahead and say it…

Adrian Peterson may not even be ready for opening day after blowing out his knee….

And as they say if Adrian Peterson is not on your team you can cancel Christmas…

And after you cancel Christmas you can talk yourself into Christian Ponder winning 7 games…

“HOW DO YOU EVEN PONDER PASSING”

Sorry wrong Ponder..That was for the Jim Rome listeners out there…

“Hey Yall Check this Out…”

Bet as much money as you can…The Vikings are going to suck more then the blonde who just ran out of Cocaine…

Informer Pick - - About as sure of thing as the Informer discovering another chin when he shaves his beard….

Washington Redskins - 6.5

They were actually a solid team last year with the exception of their QB was Rex Grossman…

Which of course means your f*cking QB was Rex Grossman…

Now they have that RG3 guy…You know the Heisman Trophy winner…

Now some people worry cause it turns out that Griffin guy is only five foot ten…

On a side note that Griffin guy is on the short list of Sic You know What that is going to replace Randy Moss…

Here is the early season list…

1. Randy Moss…

2. Calvin’s Johnson

3. That “Sickness” AJ Green

4. Cammothy Newton

5. “That Blachmon” or “That Blackman?” How do you spell it…

6. RG3 - - -He has a straight lease he better be sick…

Informers pick - I think he is going to be A Super Sick Big D*…Well you get the Idea…

Over 6.5 for dem skins…And over 6.5 BISP for THUNNDER Mathers….

Arizona -- 7

They still have the Original Predator Drone….

Then again their QB is still Korn Off The Kolb guy….Lol…The Informer loves that joke..Kevin Korn Off The Kolb…Haha…

Then again this same team won 8 games last year…They have the newest greatest Kick Returner in football in the Patterson guy….

Well 8 is more then 7 so the Informer is saying bet the overs people…

Informers Pick - -Have a feeling The Informer will be praying for a push…

Tennessee - 7

Informers Pick - - Does this seem high to anyone else?

Did you know the Titans won 9 games last year…

With a running back who was playing the whole year with that “I just got paid…Not going to try face”…

Then again did you know that there quarterback was Matt Hassleback…You know that guy who used to be Brett Farves Backup…

Did the Titans start a rookie qb towards the end of last year…How the hell did this team win nine games…Kinda sucks your team wins nine games and doesn’t make the playoffs but the Tebows made the playoffs with eight wins….

Informer Pick - -Bet the Under…For some reason the Informer feels like this team is going to suck…Call it a hunch…

Oakland Raiders - 7

They were 8-8 last year….They were actually a pretty competitive football team until Jason Campbell got hurt..Then Carson Palmer came over in a trade that gave away the Raiders future and promptly threw 123 interceptions in like four games…Pretty sure that’s a record…

Listen the Informer loves Run DMC…He actually likes the defense and the offense…But it’s the f*cking Raiders…They are not going to win 8 games this year…

Informers Pick - -Sorry guys but when you cant draft new players to help your team because you traded all your picks away and you are salary cap strapped its hard to improve…So if you cant improve on eight wins it means you go backwards…Going to be a long year in Oakland…BET THE UNDER

Seattle  - 7.0

Last year they went 7-9...The year before they won the division going 7-9...Listen the Informer loves him some Marshawn Lynch…Guy is a beast running back….And basically carried the Informer to a championship trophy…But the Hawks are a 7-9 team…Which means this will push so bet either way..The Informer would lean towards the unders….

Da Bills - -7.0

Bet the Overs…Mark the Cannons words this team will win at least 8 games and the Informer actually thinks it will be more…

Listen the Bills defense is going to be sicker then a “Super Sick Big Dick Nasty Ass Rap Singer”

They will still lose to the Patriots…And maybe even a game against the Jets…But they will be at least a five hundred team…

Unless the New Cannon “That How Do you Like dem Apples guy” (You know cause he is from Harvard…Sorry the Informer has been watching Goodwill Hunting non-stop the last three days) or Freddie I went to some college in Iowa Jackson are not healthy…

Informer Pick - -Seriously 8 wins at least….

Carolina 7.5

They somehow won six games last year with Cam Newton not even knowing how to play QB…

Did you know the Panthers actually led in the fourth quarter of games 11 times…(Stat maybe made up..it was a lot though)

Sadly Camster Newton didn’t know how to close…This year he will close…they will win games…And the Informer is thinking playoffs….Not joking…

Informers Pick - -My NBISP “Newton Boner in Sweat Pants” is at an all-time high…Did you know in week eight its going to be Panthers vs. Redskins…That’s right RG3 against the Man…IN the battle of who is the biggest sickest you know what…The Informer may need to take a time out to go relieve himself…

Yes that was a master…well you get the Idea the Informer is excited for football….

Miami - -7.5

They spent the whole offseason trying to get someone to come play QB for them and they couldn’t find anyone….

That’s not a good recipe…You know going into the season without a starting QB…

Its honestly a bold strategy…The Informer would love to be more optimistic but at some point that QB from Texas AM is going to start at some point…Which means Reggie Bush mine as well just start dating a Kardashian if he wants to stay relevant because this season is over….

Informers Pick - -Bush already dated that Kardashian with the ass and the sex tape…Hmmmm…Well in that case still bet the Unders….

Da Bengals - -7.5

The “Sickness” in year two…

The Red-Headed Devil in year two…

Listen as long as the sickness is healthy they will be a .500 team which means bet dem overs pimps and hoes…

The sickness is AJ GREEN…had a feeling the Catman would get pissed off while reading this saying “Who the fuck is this sicknees guy” which would lead to him breaking his iphone…Seriously @catman69 on twitter has anger issues….But the hot red head from boy meets world follows him so I guess he wins…

Kansas City - -8.0 wins…

So the Chiefs have to win at least nine games to cover this bet….Is the Informer missing something?

I know the Chiefs had a lot of injuries and yet somehow won 7 games…

But for god sakes isn’t there coach Romeo Cranel…

And their QB Matt Cassel…Listen Cassel could only barely win 11 games with the Patriots and the best offense in football…how in the blue hell is he supposed to win 9 games with the Chiefs…

Informer’s Pick - - Gotta Be Under

Dallas 8.5

Let me save you the trouble the Boys will win at least 9 games this year…Dez Bryant is going to explode this year..And they have that defensive coordinator that looks like Rex Ryan that everyone always talks about so he must be good…

Jets - -8.5

If Sanchez starts this is an 8 win team…If Tebow starts all bets are off…The Informer is going to take the overs just in case this becomes Team Tebow…You do remember what happened after he took over the Broncos right…Yea that’s right made the playoffs and beat the Steelers…Enough said…

Informers Pick - -You don’t bet against Tebow..Bet the Overs…

Atlanta - -9.0

Listen at the end of the day all Matt Ryan does is win regular season games…They barely ever lose at home…They now have two sick predator drones at WR…This team will be good..Mark the Informers words…Also Julio Jones is going to be a STUD this year..FANTASY ALERT…FANTASY ALERT…

Informers Note - - Way Over Trust Me…

And after they lose week won like last year in Chicago feel free to abandon ship but trust the Informer this is a 10-12 win team…They will be division Champs….Unless Cam…

Da Bears 8.5 - -The Bears were good last year until Cutler got hurt…If he is healthy this is going to be a 9 win team..Especially with the return of the Cutler Marshall Tandem that used to win 6 games a year in Denver…

Informers Pick - -Its seems like every other year the Bears win 12 to 13 games and there division…Well last year was there down year so this year bet there over…

Giants - -9.5 - They won the Super Bowl last year and couldn’t even win 10 games in the regular season..>This is a nine win team…And then Eli will get into the playoffs and become ELI again and the Giants will be a Championship contender…

Informers Pick - -Under by .5
Denver 9.5

Screw it..Peyton Manning is going to be healthy…

Peyton Manning will win be Peyton Manning…The Broncos play in a shit division…That is six wins right there…Which means Manning only needs to go 4-6 against the rest of the NFL…That’s doable right?

Informers Pick - Overs…..If Manning does not play the Informer has every right to change his mind…Even though once the bets placed you cant take it back..So really you would still be loser your money but the Informer would be saying I told you so…

San Diego - -9.0

Well they won eight games last year and never seemed fully healthy…They lost there best receiver Vincent Jackson…They last the best player in franchise history  (Seau)..Factor in that this team doesn’t win football games in September and that’s a tough recipe to get to 10 wins…

Informers Pick - -This divisions belongs to the Donkeys…Bet the Unders…

Detroit - -9.5

The Informer loves Calvin’s Johnson…Ummmmm…?

Hell the Informer stands by what he said…

But as much as he loves the Johnson last year seemed a little fluky..They play in the toughest division in football…They are going to lose to the Packers Twice…The Bears at least once…They are going to have a tougher schedule cause they were so good last year…

And Matt Stafford will once again start the year by throwing only to MegaTron..The Lions will win those games…Then Stafford will mistakenly think he is the reason they are winning..Will try and spread it around…the Lions will then lose four in a row before someone finally tells Stafford to Just pass the Damn ball to the Unguardable guy….which will lead to a late season rally and maybe the wild card…With all that said this tema finishes 9-7...
And the Informer is No “Will Hunting” but that is less then 9.5...Get it cause Will Hunting was a Math Wizzard…haha The Informer is funny…

Informers Pick - Bet the Under

Steelers 10.0

Bet the Over…

Yup boring answer for the same boring team that always wins 12 damn games…

Ravens

Bet The Under…Call it a gut feeling but the Ravens are a little long in the tooth…

Cut to Baxa throwing his IPHONE and screaming obsentities about how he is going to murder the Informer…..Cause RAY LEWIS IS THE MAN…And then Baxa shaking in his chair getting so worked up he starts crying…And you think the Informer is joking…

Informers Pick - - Bet the Under

Saints - -

You don’t just have an offseason scandal where your head coach gets suspended for the whole year and then your assistant coach that is going to pretend to be the head coach cant coach for 6 games…

Then again is there any doubt in anyones mind that the Sean Peyton will not be on a Cell phone in the ear of Drew Brees while watching from a 50 inch 3D HDTV…You know one of those T.V.’s that is so realistic it feels like your actually at the game…

The Informer would like to wager on what week the NFL finds out that PEYTON is talking to BREES via Cell Phone every game….What do you think his code name will be…JEAN CLAYTON….Pean Seyton?…Maybe something clever like RON MEXICO….

Actually now the Informer is getting excited..Cant wait for the first time TV Crews see Brees on the sidelines and he is talking on the phone…Only to go right out the next drive and call an audible and throw a 40 yard touchdown pass…

Please let this happen…Because then yes we will be one step closer to the Informer becoming an NFL head coach…

What was the Informer talking about again…

O yea…Saints are going to have a down year…Bet the Unders…

San Fran 49ers

RANDY MOSS…..RANDY MOSS….RANDY MOSS….RANDY MOSS……

The Informer has a BONER!!!!

Just like the Old Patriots rule the Informer will now always bet the 49ers…

So bet the Overs…Sorry Mr. Question the Informer pretty much just killed your favorite team..But hey RANDY MOSS…..

HOUSTON 10.0 Wins

This means the Texans who won 10 games last year without there QB or best WR Andre’s Johnson and continue to play in a division with sh*tty Qbs…SEE TITANS TEXANS AND ROOKIE QB COLTS

Informers Pick - - This team either pushes or goes way over…Therefore you bet the Overs…

Eagles - 10.0

The Informer was ready to be the only guy on the Eagles bandwagon this year…And then he saw this line…Looks like everyone is on the Eagles Bandwagon this year…that’s not a good sign…Listen the Eagles have a good Cowboys team…A Super Bowl Champion Giants Team…A we will be tough Redskins Team…Throw in the How in the Hell did the Eagles not win this game loss and there is no way the Eagles are winning 11 games….

Bet the Unders

Green Bay - -12.0 Wins

Just bet the Overs…Rodgers is the man..

Patriots - Again just bet the Overs…Brady is the Man….

Yup the Informer just picked 16 teams over…

16 teams to hit unders…

In reality the Informer thinks about 5 of those teams will push which means even money…

Hey the Informer has spoken…

You can either not listen and not win………..

Or you can listen and not win....




The Choice is yours...

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Some NBA Thoughts

40 points 19 rebounds and 9 assist….

Next game 30 points 10 rebounds 8 assist….

Of course if you follow Skip Bayless on twitter these numbers were meaningless….

And then he says until Lebron does it when it counts….

To steal the ummm thing from yesterdays ‘Bynum is a Bum blog”….

Ummmmmmm…Skip it is the playoffs…The Heat had there backs against the wall…And the one guy who everyone said wouldn’t show up because he is scared put together a 40-19- and 9 performance…

Don’t get the Informer wrong he was still trying to figure out how Lebron could choke and not get the Triple Double but come on skip give the guy his due….

The reason he became the 3-time Mvp this year is because he has been single handidly winning games on both ends of the floor for Miami…

But D-Wade scores in the 4th quarter….

Well…News Flash…Lots of guys score in every 4th quarter…The Informer don’t know the exact numbers because lets face it the Informer is not a very good journalist but lets assume the Heat are scoring about 25 points in the 4th quarter….

Lets say that Wade score 11-15 of those points…..

Still means that someone else needs to chip in the other 10-14 points and the Informer can assure you more often then not  it is not Eddy Curry doing that scoring….

Mind you at the same time in 4th quarters Lebron is usually guarding the best guy…rebounding….Making the sick come from behind blocks…You know the little things Wade doesn’t have to do anymore because Lebron is making the plays…..

Listen the Informer loves to call out Lebron for not having the rings that Kobe has…The Informer loves calling out Lebron for deferring to Kobe in the Olympics basically saying Kobe you’re the greatest thing ever please win the Gold Medal for us….(Which He Did..BOOM)…

But at the same time the Informer is not going to sit here and say Lebron isn’t doing this and then when he does turn around and say well it wasn’t that impressive…At some point you got to give the man his due…You Skip Bayless can call out Lebron over and over and ask him to come through….

Well in the last two must win games guess who came through….

Now that that is over with here are the rest of the Informer’s playoff thoughts….

The Spurs are good…Tim Duncan is looking like a beast…What happens if the guy wins his fourth ring? Playing the way he does? Do we start putting Tim Duncan in the top 10 all-time? Is he already in the top 10 all-time? I mean he is arguably the greatest power forward ever but top ten?

The Celtics are good…Kevin Garnett is looking like a beast…What happens if the guy wins his second ring? Playing the way he has been playing? Do we start arguing who had a better career Duncan or Garnett? Does KG catipult himself into the argument of greatest Power Forward Ever along with Duncan?
Is he already in the argument without this rejuvenated season long run..You know the whole season where the guy is putting up 20-10’s like its 1999?

Both of those arguments are going to be on the table in the next few games….And that’s before we even get to the argument of Kevin Durant leapfrogging Lebron as the games best player…You know something that will happen in the Informer’s eyes if the Thunder beat the Heat in the NBA Finals…


Just in case anyone missed last nights game did you know that at one point Andrew Bynum was guarding Nazar Muhammed at the top of the key and Muhammed went right around him for an uncontested monkey dunk….

The Informer knows exactly what your thinking…

“Who in the blue f*cking hell is Nazar Muhammed?’

And that pretty much sums up the Informers point that Andrew Bynum is a bum…

But that didn’t stop one local LA Radio Host from going on ESPN today and saying the Lakers have to pay Bynum cause when he wants to be he is the best Center in the NBA….

Besides the fact that the Informer no longer has a 55in Vizio because he tried to  punch the guy in the face through the tv the Informer has one question?

What kind of f*cking Medicinal Medical Marijuana are you smoking guy?

Andrew Bynum is not the best Center in basketball….Honestly if you watched last nights game Andrew Bynum is not even better then Nazar Muhammed…And don’t give me he is only 24 years old…

The guy has played in three NBA finals..Been in the league seven years…He is not only 24 years old..If anything people should be calling him no his lack of effort and saying for God-sakes your 24 years old..grow the f*ck up and earn your money….

If the Lakers give this puke a max contract and then don’t trade him for Dwight Howard and decide to rebuild the team around Bynum once Kobe leaves the Informer reserves the right to jump on the Durant train once Kobe hangs them up….

Its only fair…

Which brings the Informer to his last point…The other day the Informer was talking on twitter with his cousing @vandownbytheriver and the Informer asked him is it ok to root for the Celtics….

Of course Mr. Down By the River was appalled by this question and nearly choke slammed the Informer through his smart phone….

So the Informer quickly apologized but then started thinking…

No its not wrong for the Informer to be rooting for the old vetran Celtic team…

Don’t get the Informer wrong worst case scenerio for the NBA this year is Spurs vs. Celtics..The Informer wants nothing more then Durant vs. James but as for bad series go Celtics/Spurs…Garnett/Duncan wouldn’t be a bad way to go….

Which is exactly why the Informer was heartbroken by the Lakers loss but in the end is still going to be watching basketball the next few months because we  are going to end up with some very good basketball/storylines from here on out….

Unless of course the 76ers pull a “Rocky” and leapfrog themselves into the NBA Finals…

That cant happen right?

And that’s exactly why the Informer will be rooting for the Celtics…At least for the next few games…


THE NBA PLAYOFFS…WIN LOSE OR GO HOME….Unless you’re the 76ers..then just go home cause you suck…

Monday, May 21, 2012

Lakers Lost

Im going to start by saying with 6 minutes left in the game the Lakers were down by 13 had forced Oklahoma City into a bad shot but Kendrick Perkins got the offensive rebound….

Over Andrew Bynum…

That was the story of the game...Bynum not rebounding and playing defense....

Yes this is going to be a Andrew Bynum sucks blog….

This is not even about his 9 point 4 rebound performance…This is about the lack of heart on the defensive end…

Not going to lie at least eight times the Lakers gave up uncontested dunks in the half court offense…

Ummmmmm…What?

Listen this is not a Lakers should have won blog…The Thunder are good…The Thunder won..….But ill be gosh- dammed if im going to sit here and watch Pau and Kobe plays balls out only to see Bynum mope like a fucking baby and not play defense…

You’re a damn 7footer…

The Informer tried to tweet the guys at TNT to call Bynum out but lets be fair nobody is reading the Informers tweet so it looks like Im going to have to call him out via the blog that my six friends read…

Now the Informer already wrote his blog the other night saying he new Kobe would bring it…He did..You know who else brang it…Metta World Peace..That Carlton Ubanks guy…Pau..Sessions…Everyone on the team except Andrew Bynum….

I will say it again please God let the Magic be dumb enough to trade Dwight Howard straight up for Andrew Bynum….

As the Informer is writing this the announcers are saying well Bynum got into early foul trouble…You know what his fucking fouls were…Him reaching in trying to steal the ball from smaller players….

Ummmmmm…Again you’re a 7 footer….

At least get a damn foul trying to make a block….

The Lakers were down six entering the fourth quarter..It was going to be difficult but it was at least a winnable game…So they rest Kobe and rely on Bynum to give them a spark…

The Thunder went on an 8-0 run with Bynum basically airballing two left handed jump hooks…

At the time the Informer tweeted…Lamar Odom gives more heart then Andrew Bynum….

Yes the same Lamar Odom who quit on the Dallas Mavericks this season….

And you know what it’s a true statement….

Now the Informer is not talking about the whole series…Kobe has as much blame for two of the losses as anyone…The Informer is just talking about this one game where everyone played with there backs against the wall except one guy…

The same guy that all year people have been saying Kobe needs to defer to…

Anyone think the reason that Kobe didn’t defer to Bynum is because the guy has no heart…

Once again the Informer thinks that Andrew Bynum is a bum….

At the end of the day the Sonics kicked ass…

The Informer will be rooting for Durant in the next series…

The Informer thinks Durant is a stud….

At the same time the Informer will look back at this series and remember the two games that Kobe came up short…He will also remember the series that would not have even been close without Kobe…And even World Peace…

You know the two guys who played there asses off for the whole series…Not a few games or a few moments but the whole time….

Its frustrating as a fan because the Informer watched all season long…He basically watched 55-66 Lakers games this year…

Not one of those games (with the exception of when Kobe was hurt and didn’t play) did Kobe not come  out and give his all….

Sadly some nights Bynum played and some nights he didn’t…

Did Bynum cost the Lakers the series..Probably not Oklahoma city was young and relentless…They won games…They never got scared…But my god you’re a millionaire because of Basketball if you cant get up to play basketball in the playoffs what the fuck good are you…..

For goodness sakes he said in round one game he didn’t come ready to play…..

Ummmmmmmmmm…..it’s the playoffs…Win or go home…How do you not come ready to play….

Sorry to everyone who is trying to say that Bynum is the best center in basketball now…NO he is not…I would take Kendrick Perkins everyday of the week and twice on Sundays over Bynum…And Perkins kinda sucks….

The Informer cant state this enough…Bynum you’re a bum….

With that said what a series…

Every game even the blowout in game five was pins and needles…Well other then the blowout in game one..But you get the Informers point…

It was a fun series…The Thunder showed they are ready for these games…

Now the fun begins…

Did you know the last 13 years only three teams from the western conference have made the NBA Finals…

The Mavericks..The Lakers..And the Spurs….

Well the Thunder have beaten the first two…

Now they have to go to war with the Spurs who seem to be clicking on all cylinders….
Once upon a time in the NBA you used to have to go through all your foes…

Jordan had to get past the Celtics, Pistons and Lakers….

Now Durant and Westbrook and the Sonics have gotten past two of there foes with a third waiting in the wings…

Its going to be an old-fashioned Texas/Oklahoma shootout…

Hide the woman and children because we are in four an epic Old-West Showdown…

The Informer is going to cry tonight…Then get ready to watch some great basketball…

It was a great season Lakers….

Just need to get rid of one Bum…

And that’s you Bynum…..


(Informer note - Bynums post game comments...I had a good season and an ok post-season---10 points and 4 rebounds Bynum...Thats all you need to say...On the other hand Artest gave an interview saying give Oklahoma City the credit..they won...and that is a fact...The Informer loves Metta World peace..aka Indiana Ron...Next year)


Sunday, May 20, 2012

"Win Or Lose Its Kobe"

The Informer is not even going to waste his time trying to defend Kobe…

For those of you that want to blame the game on Kobe for going 2 for 10 in the fourth quarter go ahead…

For those of you that want to say Kobe sucks and blah blah blahh..Go ahead…

The Informer has heard all the arguments and heard all the same sh*t with his two favorite athletes now for 16 some odd years…

Its either Randy Moss is lazy…Randy Moss never won the big one…

Kobe Bryant sucks he is a ball hog…

John Zelasney only scored 38 goals in 9 games cause he was playing second graders…

Its always the same argument and in the end everyone has there points…

The Informer isn’t going to argue because the last week the Lakers have officially given him a stroke…

And by Lakers I do mean Kobe…

The guy who single-handedly wills his team to come so close only to come up short in the end…

Yes  your right in game two it was Kobes turnovers in the end and missed shots that let Oklahoma City win…

Then the next game it was Kobe willing his team to victory by making 18-18 from the free throw line including clutch free throws under the final three minutes that led to what will probably be the Lakers only victory of the series against a Thunder team the is hungrier and believe it or not has the best player…

And finally it was Kobe’s fourth quarter misses that will be blamed for the Lakers losing a winnable game three…

That’s right the Lakers very well could be up 3-1 instead down 3-1.…

The Thunder won…Kevin Durant continues to be a killer down the stretch…The Guy started getting the calls he deserves down the stretch of game four and then made the biggest shot of the night…

A late three after Kobe made the right basketball play and gave it  up to a wide open Pau Gasol who tried to make the right play only to have the ball stolen by Durant….

Honestly it was a great game….

A game that never felt like the Lakers were ahead even though they led by ten points the whole game…

Give credit to Russell Westbrook who the Informer calls out at every turn..Saying if the Thunder had a better point guard they would be a better team….

You know what the Informer was wrong…The guy is a straight baller…Same for Harden same for Durant…

They are young and they are not afraid of the moment…

On the flip side there is Andrew Bynum who played so big for three quarters but couldn’t find a rebound in the 4th quarter…

The argument would be.. “Well Kobe needs to pass”…

How about instead of waiting for someone to give up the ball you make a play..

Shaq said it the other night…He said something along the lines of “You know why I used to have 40 point 20 rebound games… Because I would make my own offense…If the team is shooting jumpers I would rebound the ball and score….Make my own plays”

You know what Bynum does when his team doesn’t find him in the post?

He pouts…He becomes disengaged…

Listen your on a team with Kobe Bryant one of the biggest gunners in the history of the game…Maybe instead of  waiting for the team to give you an opportunity you step up and make your own plays…Yes the Lakers all to often stop trying to force feed you the ball in the post…You know what make your own offense…

The funny thing is at the end of the day the loss will always be placed on Kobe so can you really blame him for wanting to take the shots at the end of the game?

Or the fourth quarter?

The guy did have 31 points through three quarters while shooting over 50 percent…

Don’t get the Informer wrong there are times watching Kobe in the last couple of games where he was thinking the same thing…Pass the ball…But then one game he wins…the next game he loses….

Either way he was not scared to have all the weight of the game on his shoulders..

Win or lose it will be Bryants fault…

You know what after 16 years in the league Kobe is not going to change his ways…

His ways have helped him to 5 titles…They have helped him play in 7 nba finals…Another confrence finals…And basically 14 different years of playoff basketball….

Everyone knows the numbers and everyone says well he isn’t Jordan…

That’s fine…He is not Jordan….The Informer is not going to defend that…

But the Informer is going to say it was a surprise to him the last two Lakers losses when Kobe didn’t come through…Just like it was a surprise a few years ago when the Lakers lost to the Celtics….

For right or wrong Kobe has usually come through at the end and when he doesn’t everyone likes to pile on…

Honestly its like rooting for the Yankees or  the Patriots…Everyone loves to pile one when they lose because so often or not they come through in the clutch with wins…

That’s sports….

On this night the Informer is going to continue to be f*cking pissed off because Kobe didn’t come through…The Informer will go into Monday night thinking the only way you win a series is beating the other team on there home court…So the Lakers now have to play three games with their backs against the wall…

The Thunder on the other hand are going to keep playing with a young chip on their shoulder…

There was a turning point in game four when Kevin Durant finally got a foul call to go his way…He slapped the floor as to say finally…After that moment Durant turned into Durant for the first time in the series…He decided wait a f*cking minute im a super star and I deserve to get the same fouls Kobe gets….

And you know what the Thunder started getting those calls…

Again the Informer gives all the credit to Russell Westbrook who is an easy scapegoat when the Thunder are going wrong..

But for two series now Westbrook has become the scapegoat for why they are winning…

Back before the season started the Informer said that in the end it would be Heat vs. Thunder in the Finals..

The Informer was absolutely foaming at the mouth at the thought of Durant the games greatest pure scorer getting his first ring at age 24...(Something Michael didn’t do)…

Not sure if that will happen this year but the way the Thunder have played in there first two series this year shows they are absolutely ready…And they are absolutely not scared of the moment…

You know a question something a guy from Miami has yet to answer….

Basically the Informer is rambling incoherently because the last four nights have been the most pins and needles games the Informer has watched in a long time….

The Informers team has come out on the wrong end two of three of those games….

We can blame it on Kobe….Most will…But the Informer is not going to apologize for Kobe..In fact the Informer thanks Kobe because his will to try and do everything has made for exciting basketball…

Kobe has been playing controlled and giving his all…Something the so called best player on his team cant say (Bynum)…Maybe Kobe is wrong for missing to many shots but at least the guy day in and day out gives everything no matter what….

Its funny to think about that the Informers two favorite athletes of all time are pretty much the complete opposite….

Randy Moss is hated cause he is lazy and doesn’t give a shit all the time…

Kobe Bryant is hated because he cares all the time and tries to hard to win it by himself when he should allows other to help him out…

At the end of the day there is nothing Kobe can do to win…Just ask Moss who played one year for the Patriots where he said and did all the right things…Even caught the go ahead touchdown in the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl…Yet he had to rely on his teammates to keep the lead..

And win the game…

Moss’s defense gave up a touchdown…Kobe missed the shots….Other players were involved but at the end of the day there legacies are the ones that get called into question…Not Ellis Hobbs…Not Andrew Bynums…

So no the Informer is not going to defend Kobe going 2-10 in the fourth quarter…The guy tried to win..The guy came up short…But at the end of the day the Informer knows in game five Kobe is going to come out and give everything he has for the team to win…right or wrong….And that is why the Informer loves Kobe….

As for tonight..The Informer tips his hat to the Thunder…Durant and Westbrook were absolute studs….Harden continues to scare the Informer at every turn…They look young and hungry…

The Lakers look like Kobe is getting old and sometimes the other guys will try and sometimes they just sit and watch…

The Informer is done rambling now he is going to go sit and watch “Goodwill Hunting” on Netflix because just like Kobe it always gives its all…


And the Informer “Likes Dem Apples” win or lose….