Click on the Amazon Link

Monday, October 29, 2012

"I Tried"

Turns out Rand Moss is tied for 4th all-time in total touchdowns right now with T.O…

Moss is second all-time in TD Catches with 153,  but tied fourth all-time in total td’s with 154...

The Informer was blind sided when he heard this stat…

But whatever…

Fuck T.O. …

Randy is still playing and if you saw the greatest TD of all-time on Monday night football you know the man can still make sh*t happen…

So how about the Informer talks about his NBA fantasy blog…

The Informer Got…

Rondo, Howard, Dwade, The Uni Brow, and Zach Randolph…

That’s who is going to win the Informer his league…

The Informer dropped 5,000 words on who you should have and not have for fantasy basketball last night, tonight he just wants to mention that Randy Moss had a TD on Monday Night football for the 18th time in 19 games…

Not saying it was the greatest TD to ever happen on NFL Monday Night football but it was at least in the top five right….?

Listen The Informer doe not ask for a lot but a night when he has  a Fantasy basketball draft, a Chicken patty eating contest and a Randy Moss TD,  on Monday Night Football,  pretty much makes for a good Monday night…

And your gosh damn right the Informer did his best gangnam style after the Randy TD…

The Informer apologizes… He is bowing out… He wanted to give his insights to his fantasy basketball draft but he cant stop thinking about Randy Moss making a huge TD play…

The Informer is done for this week… Randy you made shit happen…BOOOM…


"Fantasy Basketball Preview With Some NFL"

“Hey Informer, the NBA starts tomorrow night and nobody has written an NBA fantasy blog… Since you are arguably the greatest fantasy basketball player of all-time will you please share your NBA insights…”

Well Mr. Fake reader The Informer was going to rent a wrestling pay-per view and watch a guy try to win a title whose gimmick is "Feed Me More"…

Which also happened to be Clayton Goose philosophy in life… Sorry C-juice the Informer feels like he hasn’t seen you in decades… Are you still grossly overweight?

Anyways the Informer agrees that somebody  needs to write an NBA fantasy blog..

So this week how about we do a little fantasy basketball with some NFL thoughts mixed in, and we will save the man on man wrestling pay-per view for another time…

Before we get to the thought of the "Michael Jordon" of fantasy basketball here is the Informer's NFL thoughts...

First and foremost, Did you know the NFL is a game of inches…

Dez Bryant sure as hell does....

He was the guy who made an amazing game winning TD only to find out that his left pinky was out of bounds…

Talk about a tough way to loose…

Then again some people would claim that if you turn the ball over 6 times you don’t deserve to win… #They kinda got a point…

The only other game the Informer really watched this week was the Broncos vs. Saints…

And by now you know where the Informer stands… Give A Manning the MVP…

Either Elite or Peyton…#Doesn't matter pick one...

So Matty “Ice” the Informer likes what your doing with an 7-0 team but your not taking this award away from Archie’s boys..

Speaking of awards…

Why in the hell does ESPN have to try and hype up defensive players for Heisman…

I mean Charles Woodson winning the award was one thing because he also returned kicks and played offense…

But some linebacker from Notre Dame is not the best player in college football…

The Informer needs to take time to point out that he was totally on the Ryan Broyles and Lions bandwagon this week, As well as the please bet against the team that has yet to hold a lead in regulations during their first seven games.. Aka the Chiefs… So your welcome…

The Informer is also 6-7 going into the Monday night game… So he is sorry he cost you money this week…#Really need the 49ers…

Ok here are ten things the Informer thinks and then we will get to the NBA..

1. Why don’t teams just constantly throw balls up for grabs.. They are getting interference calls 80 percent of the time… Maybe its not exactly 80 percent but with how flag happy officials are it would only make sense for an NFL team to do nothing but throw alley-oops… The Informer is talking to you Detroit..

2. Andrew Luck is back in the lead for ROY… That is until Mr. Rookie Predator Drone Griffin breaks a 70-yard run next week… This award feels like it is going to come down to week 17...

3. The Bears defense had another pick six… I believe that is 6tds on the year for the bears defense… Or five more then Calvin Johnson… Just saying…FANTASY ALERT… FANTASY ALERT

4. Little Vernie is a huge Dolphins fan and they won this week.. So the Informer needs to mention to everyone that Little Vernie is to Buffallo Wild Wings, what the Informer is to Blimpies.. #Biggest fan

5. The Informer thinks that last sentence made us all a little dumber, but it doesn’t change the fact the Little Vernie loves Buffallo Wild Wings… Also the Informer is a closet Dolphins fan.. Not joking the Informer liked Reggie's Bush long before he dated that chick with the sex tape and of course the Informer is really enjoying his 41 RT1 rookie cards...WINNING

6. The Informer bet the Bears, Eagles, Patriots, Broncos, 49ers, Bengals, Falcons and Colts to win their divisions… The Informer would probably make five of those bets again today…

7. Thursday night football this  week has the Chiefs at the Chargers… The only reason anyone in the world will watch this game is because of illegal gambling… There is no other excuse to actually turn your television to the NFL Network on Thursday night…

8. Did you guys know that Larry Fitzgerald is no longer a “Predator”… That’s right the Original shaved off his dread locks for Breast Cancer awareness.. The Informer also supports breast cancer awareness and that is why he has a bracelet that says “I Love Boobies”…

9. The Informers top five once Randy Moss retires looks like this..

(Remember that Peyton Manning cant be on the list because he is to old.. Just know that the Informer is a closet Broncos lover this year…CUT THAT MEAT… CUT THAT MEAT!!!!!)

a. Calvin Johnson

2. The Sickness Aj Green

3. Luck Griffin and Andrew Robert the 3rd

4. Julio Jones

5. Adrian Peterson T-Rich and RUN DMC and Reggie's Bush…

10. Did you guys know that the San Francisco Giants won the World Series…

You didn’t..?

Neither did the Informer…

Was kinda surprised in fact, the Informer didn’t even know they were still playing baseball…

Weird…#Answering the question “If the Giants and Tigers play baseball in October does anyone care?..

Bueller…Bueller?”

Ok, before we get started with basketball,  the Informer would like to introduce everyone to a new drinking game…

Basically the game is every time the Informer has a misspelled word you need to take a drink…

Which means at this point in the blog everyone should be pretty sh*t faced even though the Informer just told you the concept of the game so their was no way you could have been playing so you probably are not sh*tfaced…

But starting now everyone get “Gangnam Style” drunk…

So what the Informer did was run a mock auction draft and recorded his thoughts and the dollar amounts that each player went and whether the Informer agreed with the money that was spent…

Consider this the only thing you need to read before doing a auction draft on Monday night…

No really if your in an auction draft on Monday night at the TRA, after you have a chicken patty eating contest,  trust the Informer on this one point... You need Lebron... Period... Exclamation point... DOT DOT DOT THINGY.. However you want to end the sentence...Pay for Lebron...

Here is the Informer’s running diary with thoughts on each player as they were placed up for bid in the auction draft… 

Durant was first up in the auction and went for 91 dollars... The Informer bowed out at 90... Remember in an auction you do have a budget...

D-wade went second and went for 57 dollars... That’s a huge difference from Durant to Wade... Listen Wade is healthy this year and is going to be a very good fantasy player... Get him if you can... The Informer loves him...

Josh Smith got thrown up third and somehow went for 37 dollars... the Informer tried to bid 38 but didnt hit the button in time... That is a steal at 37 dollars... Smith is in what one would call in a “Contract Year“ AKA - - YOU MAY WANT HIM.. For up to 50... NO the Informer is not kidding…

Lebron went for 91 dollars... The Informer once again bowed out at 90... The Informer wants to win... Not have one superstar..  And yes this is complete bull shit… The Informer didnt draft Lebron because he doesn’t want his readers to know that he will do anything to get Lebron...

Russ Westbrook went for 52 dollars... Thats a good price... So if you scoring at home you could have Westbrook and Josh Smith for the same amount as one Lebron... Or One Durant... Keep that in mind.. Two is better then one... Even if it is Lebron… Think about it.. Lets say Lebron averages 32-10-9 this year… That is roughly 51 fantasy points a game… Well if Smith averages 19-8-4 and Westbrook averages 22-6-4 that is 41-14-8... And you still have the same amount of money left to buy your next guys… See what the Informer is saying…

Steven Nash - Trust the Informer.. Dont draft Nash this year.. Not for what it is going to cost... He is 39 years old and playing with Kobe Bryant... Save the money and get a guy like Chris Paul... Trust the Informer...

Dwight Howard - The Informer bought Howard for 59 dollars... That seems like a fair price for a Center with a surgically repaired back... But if we have learned anything in the past two months back and neck surgeries are nothing to worry about anymore.. #Peyton Manning for MVP

Chris Paul - The Informer bowed out of Chris Paul at 57 dollars... Paul went for 59 dollars... The Informer would rather try and get Rondo for 40 dollars... Rondo is going to have a huge year... But Paul for under 60 is actually a pretty solid price...

(Informer Rule - You need to get Lebron, Paul, Durant, Wade, Howard… Just trust the Informer)

AL Jefferson - The Informer has no thoughts on Jefferson... He wouldn’t bid on him... He doesnt want him on his team... And Jefferson just went for more money then Josh Howard... That is just dumb fantasy basketball right there... Waste of 40 fake fantasy dollars

Deron Williams - He is listed for 62 dollars... The Informer owned him last year and besides one 55 points game Williams was a huge disapointment... Then again for some reason Williams just went for 26 dollars... Not sure how that happened.. Good thing this is a practice round... (Williams Needs to be at least a 40 dollar player… If its under 40 you want Williams)

Andrew Bynum - The Informer highly recommends everyone buy Bynum this year.. .Especially if you are in the Informer's Challenge league.. Because the Informer wants to be able to laugh at you... Bynum Sucks.. He is fat and out of shape at this time.. With a bad knee... But yea by all means spend 48 dollars on him... #The Informer will call you a five letter word that is RETARD… Bynum Sucks…

Kobe Black Bean Mamba Bryant - 18 years in the league... Going for his sixth title... Coming off Olympic Gold.. And just went for 51 dollars... that is about 10 dollars to high... Unless this was a fantasy basketball league to see who could pick up the most woman in Colorado... Then that was a fair price...

Rajon Rondo - The Informer stopped bidding at 43...Rondo went for 44... Damn the Informer is pissed...Rondo is going to be a top 8 fantasy guy this year... REPEAT SPEND UP TO 50 ON RONDO…

Pau Gasol - Went fo 41 dollars... That seems like a lot for a fourth option... Right? The Informer would rather spend half that on his little brother..

Marc Gasol - Nevermind Marc went for a solid 37 dollars... Thats a pretty good price... Marc is going to be an All-star this year...

Chandler Parsons- Not sure why this guy just got nominated, and nobody bid on him so he went for 1 dollar... And that is to much...

Derrick Rose - This one is interesting...He went for 10 dollars.. Problem is by the time he may get back,  you may not still be in contention to win your league... You need guys on the floor not on the bench...

Lamarcus Aldrigde - Averaged 21 and 8 last year... Way better then Pau Gasol and went for 42 dollars... Interesting..

Ryan Anderson - He just went for 22 dollars... What? the Informer owned Anderson last year and it was fun but 22 dollars... This guy should be one of those 6 dollar guys you buy at the end of the draft right...

Kyrie Irving  - The Informer spent 42 dollars on Irving and is not very happy about it... Sh*t... He should be about a 35 dollars player.. The Informer is not made to own Irving but he isn’t a guy you should overpay by ten dollars for… SEE NEXT

Carmelo Anthony - 40 dollars.. The Informer thought he won the bid.. Turns out the Informer needed to go 41 dollars.. Just know the Informer would have went 41 dollars for a guy who can freaking score at will... Carmelo is going to have a huge fantasy year... And if your scoring at home the Informer spent more money on Irving then Carmelo went for… That should not be the Case…

(Informer Note - Just found a f*cking Mouse swimming in the Informer’s toilet while he was peeing… The Informer is no longer in a jolly happy mood… For god sakes what if the Informer was taking a number 2... The Informer just did that move that Ryan Reynolds does in the moving “Just Friends” where he pretends to be puking slash shivering… The Informer wants to throw up…)

Eric Gordon - 16 dollars is a steal... Gordon is really good and will be playing this season with the Informer's number one fantasy sleeper ... Aka That guy with one brow…

Roy Hibbert - Averaged 12-8 and 2 blocks last year... Made the All-Star game.. And the Informer just bought him for 17 dollars... Not sure if that is good or bad... (Was Bad… 13 dollar player)

Ty Lawson for 34 dollars... Just remember that denver has alot of players that will be needing the ball and Lawson passes to them all... The Informer wouldn’t draft Lawson but for those that do he would not be mad at you… If that makes sense..

Goran Dragic - He was a stud at the end of the year for Houston and just went for 23 dollars.. He is the starting point guard in phoenix this year... Do with that information what you please

|Zach randolph - Z-Bo... 14 dollars... WOW... Thats way low.. I would rather spend 14 on zbo then 17 on Hibbert... That’s for damn sure..

James Harden - Harden should be a 45 dollar player now that he is starting in Houston instead of comming off bench in OKC... He went for 35 dollars... That feels low to the Informer... With that said what a trade by OKC... They get a lottery guy in lamb..2 first round and one second round pick in next years draft and a scoring machine in Kevin Martin... That’s more then what Orlando got for Dwight Howard... And Harden was their sixth man... NICE MOVE OKC…

Kevin Love - Two years in a row with injuries... The Informer would recommend staying away...Let someone else spend money on Love and use your founds on Greg Monroe... Love went for 34 dollars.. If he gets healthy its a steal.. That’s a big IF right?

The German - Cant justify spending money on the German this year... The Informer had him last year and wanted to puke.. Now he is injured and went for 27 dollars... Just seems like your throwing away fantasy money spending that much...

Demacus Cousins - The Informer got him for 27 dollars... Did you know that he averaged a double double last year... Just saying...O and he is a huge headcase…#The Informer loves him some Boogie Drama..

Paul Milsap - 26 dollars... The Informer doesn’t care for Milsap...

Joe Johnson - The Informer bid 17... Johnson went for 22... The Informer would not spend that much on Joe Johnson...

Serge Ibaka - The Informer now wishes he hadnt wasted so much money on Roy Hibbert cause he
had to let Ibaka go at 34 dollars... That is a perfect price.. Serge is going to have a huge year..

Brandon Jennings - 21 dollars... The Informer doesn’t really like that amount at all.. Jennings is a nice player but he is also a lot of reputation... Compared to actual basketball...

Marcin Gortat - Not sure who this guy is... I think he plays basketball in phoenix.. The Informer would not spend 20 dollars on him...

Al Horford - FANTASY ALERT FANTASTY ALERT... He is healthy and just went for 30 dollars... Guys he is an all-star.. You may want to draft him...

Anthony Davis - The Informer will have....29 dollars... Thats a steal did you see his 24 and 10 against the heat in the preseason...The Informer loves Anthony Davis... He is a must own...

Rudy Homosexual - Sorry the Informer was trying to be politically correct... Gay just went for 24 dollars.. And the Informer just found out he didnt win Anthony Davis, apparently the Informer‘s bid didn’t go through and some other guy f*cking got him... The Informer is now very sour about this draft... \

“Informer isn’t this just a practice draft?”

Well Mr Fake Reader for your information practice makes perfect.. And the Informer not getting Davis pisses him off…

Can we just get back to the draft… The Informer is still reeling from the mouse in the toilet now he doesn’t get Davis… This night is turning about to take a turn for the worst…

Kevin Garnett - Do not spend over 10 dollars on this guy... Listen the Informer loves KG but 15 dollars is to much for a guy who has to take many nights off during regular season... If you were paying for Playoff KG this would be a steal… But you cant pay that for Regular season KG… Its just not worth it…

Blake Griffin - The Informer bought him for 40 dollars... And the Informer thinks this is the exact right price.... PS Griffin is going to continue to have big numbers… But he only scores and rebounds.. No blocks no assist… You need to keep that in mind… Plus shitty free throw shooting… Damn maybe the Informer paid to much,…

Greg Monroe - The Informer now has a 15 dollar limit on who he can draft... So its going to be scrubs and rookies for the Informer from here on out... Greg Monroe went for 30 dollars..  Monroe is a steal at 30 dollars… REPEAT A STEAL

Joadkim Noah - 15 dollars.. This informer just doesnt like the way he looks... He a look a like a girl... with a weird french beard...

Monta Ellis - Guy who averages 20 points a game with 5 dimes.. and just went for 20 dollars.. Thats not bad..

Mike Conley - The Informer is not going to lie... Not really sure what team this guy plays for.. Needless to say the Informer is not bidding on said Conley.. Especailly for 15 dollars.. Which is what  he sold for..

Brook Lopez - 25 dollars for an injury prone center.. Just think there are better options out there... The Informer could be wrong I guess...

Kevin Martin - Your going to buy a scorer for 8 dollars on a team filled with scores in OKC.. That seems like to much money... He is at best the 4th option on that team...

Tony Parker - 20 dollars for the frenchman that was runner up mvp last year... The Informer spent 42 on Kyrie Irving... The Informer would rather have Tony Parker... Parker is a must own.. Especially at that price..

Paul Pierce - Another old Celtic... You should not be spending over 15 dollars on Pierce or Garnett this year.. Under no circumstances is that ok... He went for 17 dollars...

Chris Bosh - 15 Dollars - What? That is the same price as KG and two less then Paul Pierce... I would def rather have BOSH... He is a 25 dollar guy...

David Lee - Bad Basketball player... Great Fantasy Basketball player.. and he went for 17 dollars.. Thats a steal..

Setph Curry - Can he stay healthy? Thats the question you have to ask yourself... He went for 17 dollars.. The Informer would not pay that...

Samuel Dalembert - 2 dollars... That maybe a solid pick... Guy gets rebounds and blocks.. Needs minutes...

Andre Iguodala -  This guy was one of “Mericas” best 14 players and just went for 14 dollars... Safe to say that’s a good price for a five tool basketball player... Put it this way... The Informer would rather have Iggy then Pierce six days a week and at least four times on Sundays...

Tyreke Evans - Stay away.... STAY AWAY...16 dollars..

Klay Thompson - The Informer likes Thompson,  but instead of spending 7-10 dollars on Klay wait and find this years rookie that does what Thompson did last year and spend a dollar... You know maybe his teammate who came from North Carolina....

Spencer Hawes - 3-5 dollars... probably to much... should be a dollar player...

Michael Beasley - 2 dollars is way to much for Beasley... Lets not even talk about the guy who bid 5... Who does he even play for... And why is he going for 7 dollars...

Paul George - The Informer likey MR George... He is 6'10... And plays wing... Did you guys know that?... He also just went for 16 dollars... that’s less then Paul Pierce...That’s a good deal...

Tyson Chandler - 24 dollars for a guy who averages a double double and blocks shots...Im ok with that...

Danny Granger - BAD KNEE ALERT...BAD KNEE ALERT>..BUYER BE WARE...14 dollars

Ersan IIyasova - Who... 9 dollars... Guy averaged 14 and 8 last year.. I guess its not a bad price...

Andrew Bogut - Is he hurt again.. Why is he only projected for 57 games? Is he worth 3 dollars? guess not he just went for two dollars...

Amare Stoudemire - KNEE IS HURT.. He is out with a ruptured cyst in his knee... Why would you spend 11 dollars on this guy... Its dead money..

Tim Duncan - The guy maybe old but he looks young.. For 8 dollars he is not a bad player...

Arron Afflalo - 11 bucks... Ok i guess

Andrea Bargnani - Averaged 19.6 in 31 games last year... Going for about 10 dollars... The Informer wont own him....

Lou Williams - The Informer will also not own Mr Williams... He is going for about 11 dollars.. Thats seems way to high...

Kyle Lowry - He went for 9 dollars... He IS WORTH 9 Dollars... SLEEPER ALERT>>>SLEEPER ALERT

Jeremy Lin - O god... Linsanity... The Informer will not own you or your .. Repeat... THE Informer will not own... You cant make him pay 5 dollars for Lin... Your not the Informer’s real dad...

Jrue Holiday - Not sure why,  but this guy seems like he should be a dollar player... Not seven dollars or more...

Nicolas batum - This is one of the Informers favorite sleeper... And he just went for 9 dollars… The Informer was only able to bid 8... Damn you Roy Hibbert

Nikola Pekovic -  The Informer got him for 2 dollars..  And he would have bid more... Trust the Informer... He is the center for Minnesota...

Danilo Gallinari - No opinion...

John Wall - Cant run, cant walk cant do anything... But i hope to be back by Nov 31st... Those are Joe Walls words not the Informers… Thats can’t be good... He went for 8 dollars...

Carlos Boozer - The guy with the funny chest hair... Who once stabbed a blind man in the back... Aka screwing over the Cavs blind owner.. Thats just does not lead to good karma.. 6 dollars isnt a terrible price though..

Corey Maggette - WHOSE READY FOR MAGGETTE - - Dont draft this guy...Even with The Questions Penis...

(If your wonder Corey Maggette used to walk into rooms filled with hookers and utter the line “Whose ready for Maggette” allegedly of course)

Rickey Rubio went for one dollar... He is hurt but that’s not a bad risk...

Brandon Knight - We are at the point of the draft where everyone is going under five dollars so no more giving the price... With that said the Informer loves knight...

Manu Ginobli - For less then five dollars could be the steal of drafts...

Luol Deng - Likewise... Dang is Dang Good..

Kenneth Faried - Guy has a huge motor... but the Informer would rather spend money on rookies this year then a guy who doesn’t even start for his own team... Your choice

Marcus Thornton - Wow, he averaged 19 points a game last year... Thats actually alot...The Informer doesn’t want him..

Isaiah Thomas - The Kings signed another point guard who may steal some of his minutes... I would stay away...

Wesley Matthews - The Informer would again stay away... At this point guards are getting scarce so you may need to draft him...

Bimack Biyombo - Raw.. But worth a one dollar flyer...

Jeff Teague - A starting PG... Who is good... Going for less then five dollars... The Informer likes...

Gordon Hayward - Yes a white guy... Do yourself a favor and dont waste money on a shooting guard who averages 11pts a game... Instead draft Marvin Williams.. Who is now in Utah.. Trust the Informer…

Oj Mayo - The Informer really really likes... Not sure why...

Raymond Felton - Did you see him last year... He looked like a fatter version of John Z... THAT’S REALLY FAT... Dont Draft

Jason Terry - Probably not going to be a bad 1 dollar player... But they got alot of guys in Boston taking shots this year...

Harrison Barnes - Good One Dollar gamble...  The Informer likes any player that was a scoring machine in college...

Nene - NO- No… Is that the proper Spanish translation?

Javale McGee - Yes Please, remember he was the best big man on the floor in that Lakers series last year... I would rather pay for McGee then Farid...  Just saying...

Bradley Beal - Rookie flyer.. Why not...

DeMar DeRozan - Scorer who does nothing else...But def worth a dollar

Gerald Wallace - The Informer actually thinks Wallace maybe a little underrated this year...

Damian Lillard - The Informer loves rookies... The Informer loves the rookies.. The informer really loves Lillard...

Mo Williams - You guys may want to draft Mo williams this year...Starting PG with experience getting full timer mintues... Thats a good buy...

Ray allen - Do not draft... Why would you want a guy who can only score and only plays 20 minutes a game..?

Evan Turner - He just maybe a sleeper now that Iggy is no longer in Philly... He is worth a dollar flier for sure..

Varejo - The Informer got him for 4 dollars..  Thats pretty good the Informer thinks...

Kris Humphries - Rebound machine... Worth a dollar for sure...

MIke Kidd Ghilcrest - The Informer got him for a dollar...HE GIVE THIS INFORMER A BONER...

Jonas Valanciunas - Went for 6 dollars... People are really high on him... Really high...

George Hill - He is a starter... At this point in the draft you want guys that are getting minutes or rookies with upside... Hill is a starter that gets minutes which leads to stats...

Baron Davis - Ummm...He doesnt even have a team...Maybe this is where we wrap it up... The Informer is going to finish out the draft..

So what did  we learn…

There is enough talent that you def don’t need to spend 90 dollars on Lebron James or Kevin Durant… Especially when the next high guy was 60 dollars for Chris Paul… Again that means you could have Paul and Josh Smith for the Price of Lebron…

If your drafting Lebron for half your teams salary basically that means you are going to have to use the waiver wire to win… It can be done, cause the Informer did it last year… But it would def be easier to draft Chris Paul, Wade and Josh Smith add in a bunch of good 12 dollars steal guys like Treynor’s JA Adande did last year…

But whatever you  do… Do not leave money on the board…

One guy left 44 dollars on the board… 44 Dollars? If your going to do that then yes you need to spend the 90 dollars on Lebron and Wade..

Seriously do not leave money on the board in an auction draft…  The Informer drafted Blake Griffin for 40 dollars.. Would you rather have Blake Griffin for 40 dollars or just not spend 44 dollars?

See the Informers point… Spend your money.. But most of all if you doing an auction draft.. Draft the guy you want to root for…

If you like Kevin Love then by all means make sure you get him… That’s the beauty of the Auction draft… Whoever you want you can have…

And that means 100 percent that the Informer will be having Lebron…

See you all Monday Night…












Friday, October 26, 2012

"Another Week Of Picks and A Wedding"



The Informer is having a great week…

He finally had a real winning picks blog last week, 8-5.. Means You finished plus money..

The Informer is now officially three games above .500 on the year… Not great but it’s an endurance race not a sprint..

Also, the Informer has started this week off right by jumping on the Bucs..

The Question and Informer both took Tampa Bay on Thursday night, which was the Informer’s first Thursday night cover since week 1.. . Told you things were going good

And the Informer’s buddy Mr Dauber Dabinski is getting married on Saturday…

Yes the weeding is taking place on the Bills bye week…

No the Informer does not find this to be a coincidence. ..

(Informer Note - The Informer does not want to give away the surprise so Dauber if your reading this right now please skip over the next paragraph and forget the conversation we had in the bar two weeks ago where the Informer told you he was getting you a "Trent Edwards Framed Autograph Photo" for your wedding… You may have thought the Informer was lying but you would be sorely mistaken… Yes the Informer just became the first person ever to buy a framed Autographed picture of Trent “The Cannon” Edwards… Hope you and the wife enjoy for many decades to come buddy… CONGRATS…)

The Informer would feel like he was cheating you the fake reader if he didn’t let you know that he has now watched Magic Mike in four consecutive days…

Yes the movie where a bunch of dudes perform striptease…

The Informer first watched it with his beautiful blonde wife and may have enjoyed himself to much because he got not one, but seven "Really This Is who I Married” looks…

In the Informers defense, he would challenge you to watch Matt Maconahay taking his clothes off and not get the urge to dance in your sweat pants and cheer like a little girl… 

Maybe we should just move on..

Finally the Informer is having a great week because he has now made it six days without doing the F*cking Insanity work-out…

The Informer is not joking that thing is the devil…

The Informer’s calf’s hurt so much he hasn’t even been able to perfect his ‘Gangnam” style, which sadly means the Informer will not be able to break out into a “Gangnam Style Flash Mob” at the wedding reception this weekend…

BLAME IT ON THAT EVIL BLACK MAN WHO MAKES YOU JUMP IN PLACE FOR HOURS ON END…

(Informer Note - The Informer made it 15 minutes through the first 30 minute work-out cause he is a panzee… The Informer’s blonde bombshell is currently on day six of the discs… And you wonder why the Informer walks on eggshells during days when the Cornhuskers lose football games..)

Needless to say,  the Informer is ready to drink beers and make some picks…

Hell at this point the Informer would go quail hunting because he is f*cking stocked…#I don’t even know what the F*CK a quail is…

Sadly Mr. Question is not sharing the enthusiasm of  this week…

THE QUESTION:

I am pulling an Informer this week by not totaling my record from last week (4-9; 30.8%) #embarrassing, at some point you have to start fading (i.e. doing opposite) The Question’s selections. 

This reminds me of a high school basketball game when the starters are pulled, in comes JZ to throw alley oops and jack up 3’s from 22 ft. 

Except the crowd doesn’t go B-A-N-A-N-A-S when the Question is bombing picks!

 (Informer Thought inside the Questions thought - -If your scoring at home, the Question is putting in the fun team this week and going to play lose with his picks and most likely kick some serious ass… That’s what you meant right Mr. Question… Because you and I both know J-Z ran a f*cking hellacious scrub squad…)

Back to the Question

Following up from last week, the teams coming off a bye went 2-2 against the spread(Wins – Jags & Saints; Losses – Bears & Panthers). 

This week teams coming off byes Falcons, Broncos, Chiefs, Dolphins, Eagles, and Chargers.

 Current rules for gambling:

#1). Bet the Packers they are back.

#2). Take teams coming off their bye week.

#3). Just take the dog.

#4). Do not listen to The Question for any reason the rest of this season.

 INFORMER

Holy sh*t, the QUESTION is making up new rules, bringing back fond memories of the Informer’s alter ego's mad basketball skills and all the while realizing he is ten games behind the Informer in the pick-em challenge…

If only there were a button that would play a video that would bring instant joy to Mr. Question...




The Informer semi-promises that will be the last time he pimps the “Gangnam Style” video for at least one week…

Scouts honor…(The Informer has his legs crossed...He is diabalical)

In the words of Matt Damon in the movie “Rounders” if he were talking about making picks instead of playing cards…

“Lets Play Some F*cking Picks Challenge”



PATRIOTS  vs  RAMS @ London    +    7

THE QUESTION

The fact the Patriots are in England playing a football game gives me my doubts. 

This game will be rigged by the ole Brits to prove a point after withholding their passive aggressive attitude towards us Americans for so long. 

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Rams

THE INFORMER

Even if the Informer wasn’t making a mockery of his LKLOTW every week by taking the "Racist Patriots" he would truly make the Patriots his LKLOTW this week…

Come on the Patriots playing in a game where they are going to be watched by all of Europe…

This has all the makings of a Tom Brady for “KING OF ENGLAND” games where he shreds the defense and makes the Rams look silly…

Pick - Patriots in a landslide…



TITANS       vs   COLTS      +    3½

THE QUESITON

See point #3. 

Chris Johnson is alive?  Maybe it was an early Halloween costume, returning to his old self. 

Pick - Colts

THE INFORMER

Remember when the Informer told you all to bet Matt Forte, Chris Johnson and RUN DMC to win the rushing title, claiming hey one of those guys will win… He apologizes...

He also forgot to say put it all on f*cking Adrian Peterson…

Who by the way is going to win the rushing title… #His odds were even better...DAAAAAMN 

(Informer Note - When you read that last Damn you need to pretend your running down New York City Streets, you are a turtle,  with a Red Bandanna and some punk is out running you so you scream damn really loud...

Thats how the Informer just yelled that last damn about Adrian Peterson...#Ninja Turtles 1)

Sorry, the Informer’s point was he could really use Mr Johnson to keep breaking those 80-yard TD runs..

NO really the Informer will not get mad at you Chris…

Sorry the Informer had to take a time-out to watch highlights of the Lakers….#NBA is back on Tuesday…

The Informer can’t wait…

The Informer’s wife couldn't be less thrilled..

What were we talking about again?

Pick - Colts



PACKERS*       10:00 AM      8  JAGUARS      + 14

THE QUESTION

See point #1. 

The Jaguars on the road without MJD or Blaine Gabbert doesn’t give me much hope.

Packers

THE INFORMER

The Informer can’t wait to watch the Packers win this game 31-6...

No really how do the Jags score in this game while playing with their back-up QB, their back-up running back, and a very average “Blackman” at WR…

The answer…

They can’t…

Pick - Pack Attack....

Do you think the “Pack Attack” has ever listened to the “Zach Attack”…

You know the band that Zack Morris and his pals started up on "Saved bye the Bell"...

They had their one hit song called "Friends Forever"... Here listen...




 Admit it…

You loved that video…

FRIENDS FOREVER.... ALWAYS WILL BE FRIENDS...FOREVER...

(Informer Note- When the Informer was searching for a video for "Friends Forever" he came across these next two videos...

One is basically a  "Mini-Saved By the Bell" reunion that took place during episodes of "Saved By The Bell The New Class"...

The Informer couldn't believe he didn't remember that it had happened but since it gave him goosepimples and a small BISP he figured he would share it with you...





And the second video is just Hilarious...









CHARGERS       10:00 AM      10  BROWNS*      +    2½

 THE QUESTION

The Chargers season isn’t lost yet if they can put it back together this week. 

The Browns without Trent Richardson will struggle worse than the Chargers. 

Take the Chargers as they bounce back after a bye week.

Chargers

THE INFORMER

Kinda looks like we are on the same page once again this week Mr. Question…

This is one of those games where the Informer says things like, there is absolutely no way the browns will beat the Chargers this week…

The Chargers are the far superior team, while the Browns are just flat out horrible…

And honestly in most weeks the Informer would go against the grain, but he is not ever going to take the Browns for less than three points…

EVER..

Pick -  Chargers



EAGLES*       10:00 AM      12  FALCONS      +    2½

THE QUESTION

The Eagles are a work in process and are worse than their record might indicate. 

They just fired their defensive coordinator, that can’t be good, right?  

The Falcons on the other hand are as good as their record indicates. 

Matt Ryan will bounce back and be ready to play after a productive bye week.

Falcons

THE INFORMER

What if I told you a man once signed a 100 millions dollar contract to lead a team to the promised land only to be side-tracked by off the field decisions…

What if I told you that same man went to prison, changed his life, bought a dog for his family and is now playing his old team, at home, coming off a bye week where his head coach is 13-0 in his career in games played after a bye week…

What if I told you this was the week Vick and his guys put it all together against all odds and Vick's old team…

Sorry, the Informer can’t get enough of the ESPN 30 for 30 documentaries…

Pick - Eagles



LIONS*       10:00 AM      14  SEAHAWKS      +    2

THE QUESTION

The Lions vs. Seahawks will be an interesting matchup. 

The Seahawks have one of the best back 7 in the league, while the Lions have the best WR in the league. 

We will see what happens, but I think this will be a close game. 

Take the dog.

Seahawks

THE INFORMER

Remember the name Ryan Broyles…

He was the guy who gave the Lions a nice back door cover last week..

He is also going to be a guy the Lions turn to to be their playmaker opposite the CAR THAT TURNS INTO A ROBOT… #FANTASY ALERT… FANTASY ALERT

The Informer probably believes that the Lions are not a good team and that the SeaGulls are actually a solid squad…

But you just don’t bet rookie QB’s on the road this year…

Unless they are named Luck and Griffin that is…

Or Wilson I guess..

And really you could talk the Informer into betting RT1 (Ryan Tannehill One) on the road…

And that Brandon Weedon guy really isn’t all that bad…

“Informer what in the Blue-hell are you trying to say…?”

As always the Informer has no idea…

Pick - Lions

Side Note - The Informer fully believes in the Madden Curse…

The Informer is sorry for ever trying to say a ROBOT couldn’t be affected by said curse…

After what the game did to Ray Lewis' Tricep (The guy gives a ten minute intro for Madden 13) and Calvin Johnson’s Quarterback the Informer fully believes…

Yes the Informer just said that Matt Stafford is a sh*t QB this year because Calvin Johnson was on the cover of madden…

How is that for analysis…#Its a Diabolical Curse



JETS*        10:00 AM      16  DOLPHINS      +    2

THE QUESTION

These two teams have already met this season. 

The Jets stole a game in Miami, I am still not sure how they won. 

The Dolphins get revenge this week in New York, especially coming off a bye preparing an extra week for this Jets team. 

The extra week is more beneficial vs. this Jets team as they are so limited on offense.

Dolphins

THE INFORMER

Pick - J.E.T.S. JETS JETS JETS… The Informer has no idea why and actually hates this pick… But the Jets looked pretty good last week.. They can beat the Dolphins at home, especially after Reggie Bush made that Karma comment about Darrelle Revis right?



BEARS*       10:00 AM      18  PANTHERS      +    7½

THE QUESTION

Bears dominated their Monday Night matchup vs the Lions last week. 

Although they did not cover the Bears needed a few more points, but did not get it done. 

This week the defense puts up a touchdown and makes it a block party to cover.

Bears

THE INFORMER

Pick - Da Bears…

PS - The Informer benched Cam Newton this week…

Andrew Luck and Matty “Ice” Ryan will be starting in the two leagues the Informer owns Newton…

Cam you are garbage now..

Please come back to being awesome before the Informer has to take your rookie cards out of the hard cases and put them in the scrub box…

Yes the Informer has a scrub box for his football cards…

Its where he puts the sh*tty cards after we find out they suck…

Yes the Informer is 38 years old…



 STEELERS*   vs.  REDSKINS      +    4½

THE QUESTION

This Steelers team doesn’t appear to be itself this season. 

They are banged up and lacking at multiple positions. 

The Redskins are one of the most exciting teams in the league and offensively can stay with every team in the league. 

RG3 will have a late touchdown to keep this game close.

Redskins

THE INFORMER

So back in 2002 Michael Vick averaged about 200 passing yards a game and 60-yards rushing per game…

That year he led the Falcons to the playoffs…

And even to a first round upset win in Leambeau Field…

Back when that was actually something that meant something…

(Vick led the first team to beat Green Bay in Green Bay in a playoff series in like 600 years… It was a long time)

You may also remember that was the year that every week Vick either threw a sixty-yard bomb by barely flicking his wrist, or out-ran entire defenses cause he was so fast…

So can everyone please stop saying that we have never seen anything like RG3...

YES WE F*CKING HAVE…

HIS NAME WAS MIKE VICK…

Now the Informer fully understands that Vick was involved in dog-fighting so we forget that at one time he was the fastest most impressive player in the NFL...

Fine, the Informer gets that...

And the Informer loves RG3...

But this is not the first fast black QB with a strong arm to take over the NFL...

But Informer RG3 is completing 70 percent of his passes,  Mike wasn’t even completely 60 percent…

Ok so RG3 can dink and dunk a little better,  but that’s cause he is a right handed QB and it’s a known fact that lefties balls have a funny spiral making it harder to catch…

Hey Jerry Rice said it about Steve Young..

That’s good enough for the Informer…

But seriously, do you people not remember this….. Maybe its not 78-yards but...



Looked familiar right... (RG3 78-Yard Run the other week)

How about this one.........

Sorry once again the Informer is unable to find the video of Mike Vick single handily beating the Packers in 2003 Playoffs because of the little known youtube rule...

"Dont show Mike Vick highlights pre-dog fighting..."

Listen the Informer would fully support that rule,  but why are their videos of Vick playing for Eagles,  just not the Falcons...?

You cant have your cake and then eat it to...

And yes the Informer is talking to you Nike and Cancer Research...

How much money did Lance Armstrong make you guys?

But now your appalled by what he did to win...

Here is what the guy did, he lost a testicle and almost died of Cancer and came back to make millions of dollars for Cancer research...

And of course millions of dollars for NIKE...

But I bet they are both giving that money back now calling it tainted...

No..

They are not?

Interesting, because Nike sure went and said they were totally disgusted with how Armstrong won...

But not a word was said about how much money they made off him...#Can Bonds and McGwire get in on this conversation

Here is an idea, how about Nike "Gets Off Their F*cking High Horse..."

Same goes for youtube..

How come I can't watch videos of a young Michael Vick..

The Informer is not lying..

 Check the site..

The only video they have of an awesome Young Vick is the one the Informer posted....

Sure you can watch tons of Eagles Mike Vick just not Falcons... Really?

So Vick didnt exist before he went to Philly?

Sorry the Informer blacked out..

What were we talking about?

Pick - RG3 and the Skins cover in a shootout.. Steelers will win



CHIEFS*       vs   RAIDERS      +    2 

THE QUESTION

I want to take this time to remind everyone the Raiders traded their first round pick in 2012 (Bengals selected Dre Kirkpatrick CB Alabama) and a second rounder in 2013 for Carson Palmer. 

Carson Palmer in 2011 with the Raiders threw 13 TD’s and 16 INT’s with a record of 4-6 and so far in 2012 has 7 TD’s and 4 INT’s and a record of 2-4. 

These are the Oakland Raiders. 

The Chiefs only gave up a second round pick for Matt Cassel, there is a bright spot for the Chiefs.

Chiefs

 THE INFORMER

Brady Quinn as your starting QB means you can’t be favored ever…

Add in Romeo Crapmnell and you cant be favored ever…

How are the Chiefs favored…

If there ever was a week for RUN DMC to bust a 200 yard game the time is now…

Pick - Raiders



GIANTS       1:25 PM      24  COWBOYS*      +    2½

THE QUESTION

I don’t get it. 

The Giants are the defending Super Bowl Champs! 

Let me repeat the defending Super Bowl Champs! 

How can they continually be the team nobody believes in? 

Even though this week I think they can actually pull it off again. 

I don’t think we live in a world where the Giants lose to the Cowboys in both matchups.

Giants

THE INFORMER

The Giants are going to win this game…

Pick - Elite and the flying “EliteGMEN“…



BRONCOS*     NBC      5:30 PM      26  SAINTS      +    6

THE QUESTION

The Saints defense is bad enough that any team with a halfway decent offense is going to beat this team. 

The Broncos D will be able to slow down the Saints offense just enough to cover these points.

Broncos

THE INFORMER

Why does the Informer want to take the Saints in this game?

Even though the Informer knows that Peyton Manning on Sunday Night is the safest bet in football…

Don’t the Broncos usually get down by a lot and them come back in win?

Couldn’t the Saints put up a lot of points and still lose?

Peyton Manning wins but the Saints cover… BET THE OVERS!!!

Pick - Saints



49ERS     @      CARDINALS*      +    6½

THE QUESTION

This game will be a slugfest on Monday Night. 

Both teams have solid defenses and can struggle at times on offense. 

The fact is the Niners D after an extra few days will be able to handle Skeleton at QB. 

Niners

THE INFORMER

Randy on Monday night…


PS - Thats Randy's first ever Monday Night Football TD... The Informer was a Junior in high school and rocked up... Moss really was the man...

(Informer side story about being 16 - If you were  wondering the Informer's first ever real date took place in his older brothers room on a Sunday night...

You know what they did...?

 No,  not that you sick bastards...

They watched the Vikings in Prime time and Randy Moss catch a Td...

No the Informer is not making this up...

That is why Randy Moss was born on the Informer's daughters birthday... )

Back to the Man

Here's to hoping Mario Manningham is still injured because its giving Mr Moss more playing time…

Also the Informer will be taking part in a Chicken Patty eating contest on Monday night while doing a fantasy basketball auction draft and watching the Man on TV…

Sounds like a perfect end to a great week for the Informer…

Pick - 49ers

The Question would like you to remember one last thing…

Don't forget Rule #4.

#4). Do not listen to The Question for any reason the rest of this season., But definitely listen to the Informer he is the smartest mind in sports…

Ok so maybe the Informer add-libbed the last part but the Informer feels good about this week…

CONGRATS TO DAUBER AND HIS NEW BRIDE....   MAY YOU READ THE INFORMER TOGETHER FOR MANY DECADES TO COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!