Sunday, November 3, 2019

The Informer's 2019 NFL Picks: Week 9



Here are The Informer’s Week 9 NFL Picks. As always, please remember these picks are only to be used for illegal debauchery things such as online gambling, parlays, teasers and Super Pick contests. Any other use of this blog, its accounts or any information provided without the express written consent of The Informer is strictly prohibited.

San Francisco 49ers @ Arizona Cardinals (+10)

The 49ers won, they did not cover. That means I am still alive in both of my “NFL Pick” polls (thank you 49ers), but it also means I am officially 0-1 ATS on the Week (there is a reason we follow the double digit home underdog rule folks). With all that said, starting 0-1 means only one thing to me: We are going 13-1 in Week 9.



Pick: 49ers (-10)

Houston Texans @ Jacksonville Jaguars (+1)

The Informer is putting a double Tenner on the Dodgy Texans because London games tend to be Wonkier than a Bespoke Wanker Chatting Up an Up for It Scouser. Just make sure you have a Bog Roll in case DeShaun and company accidentally Shamble the bed, or that Knob Head Gardner “Milksteak” Minshew Throws a Spanner in the Works like a Plastered John Thomas Seeing a Man About a Dog.

Either way, it will not matter if you have Twigs & Berries or a Fanny; if the Texans can break DeAndre out Of Her Majesty’s Pleasure -- and a few other Bits n Bobs go our way -- I think we will all be Starker Daft Cows eating Bangers and Chips while counting our Dobbers’s before going Off to Bedshore.

Shag Strawberry Creams and Arse. Easy Peasy One Off Across the Pond wagers are Wicked Cool on Sundays.

Bob’s Your Uncle proof of Sunday morning pick tweet:.



Pick: Texans (-1)

Washington Redskins @ Buffalo Bills (-10.5)

Dwayne Haskins making his first career start in Buffalo against a Bills team that needs to bounce back after an embarrassing home loss in Week 8? Sounds like a person would have to be a total Legless Wazzock who is not scared of a rookie quarterback getting the Collywobbles in his first road start to bet Washington today.

Pick: Washington (+10.5)

Minnesota Vikings @ Kansas City Chiefs (+3.5)

No Mahomes, No MaChiefs bet for The Informer. Sometimes it is that simple.

Pick: Vikings (-3.5)

New York Jets @ Miami Dolphins (+3)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Go home NFL. You are obviously drunker than 10 Informer's at a Natty Light drinking contest.

Pick: Jets (-3)

Chicago Bears @ Philadelphia Eagles (-4.5)

Betting Mitch Trabanski on the road in 2019. Why the hell not.

#Yolo #RevengeOfTheDoubleDoinkGameTime

Pick: Bears (+4.5)

Indianapolis Colts @ Pittsburgh Steelers (+1)

I am betting the Colts to win in Pittsburgh on Sunday. Without doing any research whatsoever, I can tell you that in my 30+ years of living I have never seen the Colts win a game in Pittsburgh. I would also like to point out the Steelers are 24-5 all-time vs Indy --including five straight victories.

So yea.

This should be a real gas.

Pick: Colts (-1)

Tennessee Titans @ Carolina Panthers (-3.5)
Detroit Lions @ Oakland Raiders (-2.5)

I am taking the points with both road dogs. I have no scientific evidence, sound advice from a male nurse, or geographical photos to explain why I am doing this. But since this is my blog, and I am running out of time before the Jags-Texans game kicks off, I am still going to do it.

Pick: Titans (+3.5) Lions (+2.5)

Tampa Bay @ Seattle HGHawks (-5)

HGHawks haven’t had a good convincing home win all season. So, I mean, eventually it has to happen right?

Pick: HGHawks (-5)

Cleveland Browns @ Denver Donkey’s (+4)
Green Bay @ San Diego Chargers (+4)
New England Patriots @ Baltimore Ravens (+3)

These are my three favorite bets of the week. All three will be in every single parlay, teaser and Super Picks contest I partake in today. My reasoning for this is simple:
  1. The Donkey’s are starting a quarterback. That is legit the only things I know about the guy.
  2. It is against my religion to bet against Aaron Rodgers whenever he is having an MVP caliber season.
  3. It is really really against my religion to ever bet against Tom Brady in Primetime.

Pick: Browns (-4) MVP Aaron Rodgers (-4) Tom Brady in Primetime (-3)

Dallas Cowboys @ New York Giants (+6.5)

Y’all I know this week was short and sweet, I apologize for that. The morning football game threw off the timeline so I was rushed to get this out. Just know that even though the article was short and sweet, the picks are going to be gangbusters as usual (68-52-1 on the season).

That is all I got for Week 9. Good luck. May your Sunday be filled with Natty Lights, winning wagers, backdoor covers and all of the three team parlays.

The Informer out.

Pick: Cowboys (-6.5)


THE INFORMER'S 2019 NFL PICKS RECORD

Overall: 68-52-1

Last Week: 10-5

Overall Winning Weeks ATS : 6-1-1

 (Informer after the blog note: For fun here are a few of my favorite tweets from the past week. If you want to partake please go follow @therealinformer on the Twitter. We have lots of fun over there.)







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