Here are The Informer's Week 10 NFL Picks. As always, please gamble with reckless abandon and absolutely zero regard for human life.
SEATTLE HGHAWKS @ ARIZONA CARDINALS (+6)
Finally, a Thursday night bet I did not lose (yes it has gotten so bad that I am counting a push as a victory). That has to be a good sign heading into Week 10, right?
HGHawks (-6) #TNF pic.twitter.com/Y8NGAA5LWV— The Informer (@therealinformer) November 9, 2017
Pick: HGHawks (-6)
GREEN BAY PACKERS @ CHICAGO BEARS (-5.5)
NFL gambling rules clearly state a person should always bet Mitch Trabanski at home against Green Bay when the Packers are playing their first game against Chicago in 26-years without either Brett Favre or Aaron Rodgers starting at quarterback.
Pick: Bears (-5.5)
CLEVELAND BROWNS @ DETROIT LIONS (-10.5)
Only two games in and we have reached this weeks dumpster fire of an abortion the NFL is passing of as a football game. So, as usual, instead of talking about this game we are going to skip it entirely and hand out the Blimpie Best meme of the week.
#DamnMillennials.
Pick: Lions (-10.5)
MINNESOTA VIKINGS @ WASHINGTON (+1.5)
Since I don't really care about the Case Keenum-Kirk Cousin showdown, I figured now would be the perfect time to share my favorite “things Randy Moss accomplished during Week 10's of the NFL Season” stats.
- During Week 10 of the 1999 NFL Season, Randy Moss set a regular season career high with 204 yards receiving in a Minnesota Vikings 27-24 victory over the Chicago Bears.
- During Week 10 of the 2007 NFL Season, Randy Moss set a career high with 4 TD receptions against the Buffalo Bills. For those wondering; Moss caught all four of his touchdowns in the first half.
- In 13 career Week 10 games Randy Moss caught 63 passes for 916 yards and nine touchdowns.
- The Minnesota Vikings were 4-2 in Randy’s first six career Week 10 games. The two games the Vikings lost were against the Chicago Bears and the Oakland Raiders. I bring this up to point out that in those two losses Moss had the exact same stat line: 4 receptions, 25 yards and 0 TDs.
- Randy Moss caught his 7th, 37th, 57th, 87th and 117th career touchdown passes during Week 10s throughout his career.
- Randy's final Week 10 touchdown happened when he caught a 4-yard pass from Tom Brady during Week 10 of the 2009 NFL Season in a Patriots 31-14 victory over the New York Jets. At the time it was Moss’ 143rd career touchdown catch.
Pick: Skins (+1.5)
NEW YORK JETS @ TAMPA BAY (+2.5)
Things I would rather do than watch the Jets-Bucs try to play football against each other: Call A.J. Green soft. Meth. Teach my daughters how to Kardashian. Bet against Tom Brady in Primetime. Talk politics on Twitter. Turn my back on Mike Evans during a shouting match. Pay $20 for a 30 pack of Natty Light. Take out a student loan with Wells Fargo. Follow "The Informer's" Thursday Night Football gambling advice. Eat a vegan burger at McDonald's. And finally, I would rather watch the Lions-Browns play football.
Pick: Jets (-2.5)
NEW ORLEANS SAINTS @ BUFFALO BILLS (+3)
I am betting the New Orleans Saints on the road because of Drew Brees. If you are wondering what that means, here is what I am talking about:
I am betting the New Orleans Saints on the road because of Drew Brees. If you are wondering what that means, here is what I am talking about:
- Drew Brees is currently on pace for 4,428 yards passing. If he keeps this pace it would be an NFL record twelfth straight season with at least 4,000 yards.
- Drew Brees owns the NFL record with seven straight season with over 4,500 yards passing (this year would mark eight straight).
- Drew Brees is the only player in NFL history to have multiple 5,000 yard passing seasons (he has done it five times).
- Drew Brees has the most career games with 400 yards passing (15).
- Drew Brees has the most career games with 300 yards passing (108).
- Drew Brees needs seven more TD passes this season to set the NFL record for most consecutive seasons with at least 20 TD passes (Brees is currently tied with Peyton Manning with 13 straight seasons).
- Drew Brees needs 17 more TD passes this season to extend his NFL record for consecutive seasons with at least 30 TD passes (nine straight at this point).
- Brees is 3,615 yards away from breaking Peyton Manning’s NFL record for career passing yards (Brees would need to average 451 yards per game over the next eight games to break the record this season).
- Drew Brees has 225 career TD passes in the Superdome, the most by any quarterback at one stadium.
- Brees needs 22 TD passes to become the third player in NFL history to reach 500 career TD passes.
- And finally, Drew Brees is 3-0 as a starter for the New Orleans Saints against the Buffalo Bills.
Pick: Saints (-3)
PITTSBURGH STEELERS @ INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (+10)
Give me the Steelers (-10). To answer the next question: No, I will not be watching one second of this game.
Pick: Steelers (-10)
CINNCINATI BENGALS @ TENNESSEE TITANS (-4.5)
Oh isn't this cute? A battle of coaches who refuse to give the ball to their best players.
On the one side you have Marvin “my offense is designed to not throw passes to the great A.J. Green”. And on the other side you have Mike “why would I give the ball to a 6’4 245lb Mack truck who runs a 4.2 40-yard dash” Mularkey.
On the one side you have Marvin “my offense is designed to not throw passes to the great A.J. Green”. And on the other side you have Mike “why would I give the ball to a 6’4 245lb Mack truck who runs a 4.2 40-yard dash” Mularkey.
Now, there is no real scientific evidence to back my theory on this, but considering we have two coaching morons battling wits on Sunday; I have decided I must grab the 4.5 points and watch as these two genius of NFL schemes find new creative ways to not get their best players the football.
Pick: Bengals (+4.5)
LOS ANGELES CHARGERS @ JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (-5)
I refuse to lay points with Blake Bortles when he is going against “Octo-dad” and the suddenly resurgent -- and rested -- Los Angeles Chargers.
Pick: Chargers (+5)
HOUSTON TEXANS @ LOS ANGELES RAMS (-12)
For fun here is an old-school versus new school player comparison that may shock you.
Player A through first eight career starts: 2-6 record, 10 TD passes, 4 interceptions and 1,349 yards passing.
Player B through first eight career games: 1-7 record, 5 TD passes, 7 interceptions and 1,089 yards passing.
Player A in his next eight career starts: 6-2 record, 13 TD passes, 5 int & 1,910 yards passing.
Player B in his next eight career starts: 6-2 record, 13 TD passes, 4 interception and 2,030 yards passing.
Player A in both of these scenarios is Joe Montana.
Player B in both of these scenarios is the Rams second year quarterback Jarred Goff.
So does this player comparison mean that Jarred Goff is going to become the next Joe Montana? I have no idea. I am not a Rocket Scientologist. But what it does mean is that the young Goff – who was written off as a bust by pretty much everyone in the NFL universe the same way a young Montana once was – can at least look back at the past and see a scenario of how his career could play out if he keeps doing what he is doing.
Pick: Rams (-12)
DALLAS COWBOYS @ ATLANTA FALCONS (-3)
Hall of Famer Dak Prescott getting points because Vegas thinks Dallas can't win without a running back? In the words of Lloyd from Dumb & Dumber: "I like it a lot."
Pick: Cowboys (+3)
NEW YORK GIANTS @ SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (+2.5)
If I had to list the greatest 49ers-Giants NFL games ever, my list would go something like this:
1) The time I won my first NFL bet back in 1990 when the 10-1 49ers beat the 10-1 New York Giants on Monday Night Football (I was five at the time and won a buck from my dad who thought it would be a good idea to give me the 49ers straight up).
3) The time the Giants got away with attempted murder and ruined Joe Montana’s 49ers career.
4) The time when the Giants beat the 49ers in the 2011 NFC Championship game.
4) The time when the Giants beat the 49ers in the 2011 NFC Championship game.
And finally, in very last place, the time the Giants and 49ers played football in Week 10 of the 2017 NFL Season.
Pick: Giants (-2.5)
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS @ DENVER BRONCOS (-7.5)
Everyone say it with me:
I will not bet against Tom Brady in Primetime . . . I will not bet against Tom Brady in Primetime . . . I will not bet against Tom Brady in Primetime . . . I will not bet against Tom Brady in Primetime . . . I will not bet against Tom Brady in Primetime . . . I will not bet against Tom Brady in Primetime . . . I will not bet against Tom Brady in Primetime . . . I will not bet against Tom Brady in Primetime . . . I will not bet against Tom Brady in Primetime!!!
Just so we are all on the same page; what I am trying to say is that I am not going to bet against Tom Brady in Primetime.
Pick: LKLOTW Patriots (-7.5)
MIAMI DOLPHINS @ CAROLINA PANTHERS (-9)
Did you know that the Carolina Panthers have never beaten the Miami Dolphins? Seems like an absolutely logical reason to put my hard earned money on Jay Cutler in Primetime for the third straight week.
Pick: Dolphins (+9)
