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Friday, February 29, 2008

Wrestlemania Moments

Because of the Informer’s new goal, he is going to be writing at least one wrastling article a week. But on those rare occasions when he has nothing better to write about the Informer is going to give you his wrastling thoughts.


And with Wrestlemania just around the corner, what better time to write the Informer’s greatest Wrestlemania moments.


10. The Mega-Powers Collide at Wrestlemania V:


The informer was not old enough to watch this event live, but after numerous VHS viewings this is one of the Informer’s favorite Wrestlemania moments.


You have to remember that Hogan and Savage were the Mega-Powers for most of the year leading up to Mania. Then during a “Saturday Night Wrestling Special” Miss Elizabeth (Macho Man’s Lady and the Hottest Chick in the WWE) was knocked out of the ring and injured mid-match.


Well, Hogan being the gentleman he is decided to carry Liz backstage to get her help from the doctor, leaving the Macho Man all alone to fight off their two opponents.


After the match, in a jealous rage, Savage found Hogan and attacked him setting up a showdown at Mania, not only for the belts, but for the love of Miss Liz.


Savage ended up defeating Hogan to become the WWF Champion. After the match the Mega-Powers shook hands and together lifted Liz in the air, once again showing that any fued can be solved in the squared –circle.


9. The return of the Dead-Mann:


For awhile in the early part of this century the Pheonomn known as the Undertaker decided to become alive and start riding a motorcycle to the ring.


He changed his theme song and was no longer the deadman, but the American Badass or something. Unfortunately for the Undertaker his brother Kane, buried him alive at the Survior Series.


The Informer was heartbroken, how could the Undertaker be dead.


Then strange things started to happen.


And wouldn’t you know it, at Wrestlemania the Deadman returned.


I don’t remember which Mania this was, just that when the first dong hit, the Informer had chills.


8. Omg…It’s the Hulkster:


At Wrestlemania 9, Yokozunna was in a match with Bret the Hitman Hart. At the time Hart stood for everything that was good in wrestling while Yokozunna stood for everything that was wrong .


Toward the end of the match Brett had Yoko right where he wanted him. With the Sharpshooter applied Yoko was getting ready to tap when his manager threw some mysterious powder into Harts face, giving Yoko the chance to pin Hart and retain the championship belt.


As tears started falling down the Informer’s face, he knew only a miracle could make this situation right.


And just then Hogan’s music hits, the Informer Hulks up and watches Hogan defeat the evil Yokozunna and become the new WWF champion. The Informer was a little delirious after this happened, but I am pretty sure Hogan then went and walked on water.


7. Coming this Year:


Zesty wants the Informer’s number seven best Wrestlemania moment to be when the Big Show puts Money Meryweather into a hoagie bun and eats him.


Just like the dude, the Informer abides.


6. Man I hate Cena:


Michaels vs. Cena for the championship belt. Michaels was out to prove he had one more run in him as the champion, while Cena was out to prove that he still sucks in the ring, and can’t hold a candle to the show stopper.


The reason this makes the list is because it will probably be the last time that Shawn is in the Main event at Mania. Even though the WWE decided to keep the strap on Cena, the match and the Mania was stolen once again by the Show-Stopper.


Long Live HBK.


5. Hogan is a Real American:


In the Informer’s favorite Mania ever, number seven, Hogan defeated Sgt. Slaughter to bring the belt back to America. The reason this match meant so much to the Informer and the United States, was because Slaughter, a once famous U.S. Military Soldier, had sold his loyalty to the Iron Shek all the while bad mouthing the United States.


Luckily for Americans everywhere, the Hulkster restored the order, defeating Slaughter, and then waving the American Flag.


U.S.A. U.S.A. U.S.A U.S.A


4. Tables Ladders and Chairs, O My:


Ever since number 16, the WWE has been having some kind of TLC match.


Whether it was for the Tag belts, or the Money in the Bank Match.


Just know, that besides Shawn Michaels, this is the one constant show stealing Match. In fact this match is the main reason people love Jeff Hardy so much.


3. Clash of the Heros:


Wrestlemania Six. Hogan vs. Warrior.



If you watch this match now it is pretty bad, basically because neither guy could wrastle, but as a kid this match meant everything to the Informer. His former and still hero Hulk Hogan matching up against everybody’s new favorite hero.


The Warrior won the match, but Hogan ended up winning the war, by becoming champion again at “Seven” and by having the most successful career of all-time.


2. Its Miss Liz:


At Wrestlemania Seven, the Warrior defeated the Macho Man in a lose and you retire match.



The Informer was happy because at the time the Macho Man had become a bad guy, even trading in Miss Liz for the always mean and nasty Queen Sheri.


After the match, realizing that Macho was going to have to retire, Sheri started kicking our former hero while he was down.


Someone had to do something.


Then from out of the crowd jumps Miss Liz racing to Macho’s side. Liz threw Sheri out of the ring, and evntually the Macho Man would propose, and he and Liz would be married later that summer at Summer Slam.


Yes, the Informer is a sucker for Happy endings.


1. Hogan vs. the Rock:


The Informer has no words to describe this moment. I am not sure if this match is on youtube or not, but if it is the Informer suggest you watch it.


If it is not on youtube, go rent Wrestlemania 19. The Informer thinks this it is 19.


Trust the Informer, not very often does a wreslting match suck you in, but Hogan vs. Rock is one of those matches that will live forever.


Now if you will excuse the Informer, it is time to say some prays, take some vitamins and maybe, just maybe, layeth the Smack Down.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Raw is War

Since the Informer is trying to get noticed by a certain website, his one reader is going to have to sit through one of these blogs every Tuesday.

Or at least until the Informer gives up his dream of writing for said website.

So Mr. Snaps sit back and get ready for Monday Night Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!

The preview for tonight’s Raw is hyping the battle between boxing legend Floyd Money Mayweather and the WWE’s very own Big Show.

Coincidentally, Big Show also has the Informer’s favorite gimmick ever, when he used to come to the ring as the Big Smoke, and instead of wrestling he would just sit in the corner and chain smoke. Now that is some good creative work by the WWE.

(Informer Note- the Informer swears to God the worst gimmick he has ever seen is Robo Cop teaming up with Sting to defeat the Four Horseman. Not some guy stealing the name Robo Cop, but the actual Robot from the movie Robo Cop. Go to youtube.com and put in Robo Cop and wrestling and you will find the video. But make sure you wear your depends because the Informer guarantees you piss yourself from laughter. At least that is what happened to the Informer.)

Forgot to mention the Informer is being joined by the Zesty for tonight’s Raw.

Thoughts so far from the Zest:
1. Is Raw really War?
2. What the hell is the Big Show going to do, put Mayweather in a Hoagie and eat him?

Let’s just say the Zest is fairly lukewarm on the prospects of tonight’s Raw.

Raw opens the show with Triple H (Hunter Hearst Hemsley), John Cena, and Randy Orton in the ring.

Zesty would like the Informer’s reader to know that the reason he hates wrestling is because of all the standing around and talking.

Okay then.

Funniest segment of the night, after Orton finishes off Hunter and Cena with his finishing move, the RKO, he is shown backstage with Mr. Kennedy.

As Orton calls him Ken, Orton is quickly reminded that his name is Mr. Kennedy. (I promise it was hysterical on TV. Kennedy said Mr. Kennedy really soft and fast while Orton was still talking. Trust the Informer it was funny.)

After the break the WWE fans are treated to a tag-team match between some Italian Sausage Guy, the always unentertaining Carlito, who continues to use the same boring apple spitting gimmick he has had for six years, and the tag-team champs. The Informer knows that one of the champions is the American Dream Dusty Rhodes’ kid, but that is all the background he can give you.

Not sure who won this match, the Informer was to busy trying to jam a pen into his eye.

Best match of the night Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho for a chance to qualify for the Money in the Bank match at Wrestlemania.

Jericho wins. Great match, great finish. I even saw the Zest give a fist pump.

Apparently he is a closet Jericoholic.

Mr. McMahon is shown backstage wearing a suit but still trying to flex for a mirror. Is there anyone on the face of the earth you would rather be than Vince?

Vince comes to the ring and finds out that his illegitimate son, the Irish little person Hornswoggle, is not really his kid.

O great, so the Informer wasted the last six months believing the kid was Vince’s and now I find out its not. Sometimes the WWE can be so cruel.

“I think I’m cute, I know I’m sexy, I got the looks that drive the girls wild, I’m just a sexy boy.”

Michaels beats up two guys then out comes the one and only Nature Boy Ric Flair.

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Michaels and the Natch are going to wrestle at Wrestlemania. I am not saying this because Shawn is my favorite wrestler in the WWE, but this is going to be the best match of the Nature Boy’s career. O and it is also going to be his last.

The Informer is getting a little tired. The jokes are starting to become lame.

Raw ends with Mr. Kennedy beating up Cena as Hunter watches.

Two hours and ten minutes later the Informer was impressed. Solid Raw, the Vince segment sucked, as did the tag-team match but otherwise Raw was pretty good.

One final problem.

You the reader, J. Snaps, may have noticed no mention of the Big Show or Hoagie boy being on Raw tonight. It just so happens that neither decided to make an appearance.

Come on WWE, don’t spend the week hyping a confrontation between the two and then having neither party show up on Raw. At lest give us an excuse.

I don’t know, something like the Show couldn’t make it because he ran out of Cigs.

Anything would have been sufficient.

O well, the countdown to Mania is on.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Must watch NBA

Not since the Michael Jordan era has the NBA been so exciting.

So unpredictable.

Seriously, when was the last time the NBA was must watch TV?

The individuals in the league have had their moments over the past few years. Kobe becoming an absolute scoring machine. Lebron averaging 32 points a game as a 22-year old. Or even Dwayne Wade leading the Heat to an NBA Championship.

Honestly though, the Informer has never been so excited for an NBA season. Most of this excitement probably has to do with the Lakers finally being relevant again, but still the excitement is there.

Last Wednesday, the Informer got the exact same text from two of his buddies.

“This is the best NBA regular season game I have seen.”

Obviously there was a little exaggeration with the best ever, but the Lakers-Suns game from last week was at least the best regular season game in recent memory.

Think about it, Shaq’s first start for the Suns, Kobe and Gasol trying to take over the Pacific Division lead with a win over the Suns, and a young power forward (Amare Stoudamire) throwing down 37 points in his first time playing with a dominant center (Shaq).

The reason this game was so great, the prospect of this happening over and over again throughout the rest of the NBA season.

Right now the west is so competitive that the Lakers would have the number one seed if the playoffs started today, yet they are only five games ahead of the 8th seeded team.

How about the way Lebron has been playing lately. The debate over the best player in the NBA is officially a two man race (Lebron vs. Kobe).

I am sorry to all D-Wade fans out their, but Wade’s team has nine wins. One of the announcers on the ABC crew said it best yesterday, “You can not be the best at anything when your team only has nine wins.”

The Informer is willing to give Wade another chance next season, since it is clear he has been playing injured most of the season. But from now on he is a second tier superstar.

The first tier includes: Kobe, Lebron, Duncan, Garnett, Chris Paul and Nash.

Back to Lebron. Since his first game in the NBA the Informer has been under the impression that one day Lebron would be the best in the NBA. At the same time, as long as Kobe was in the league it was going to be very hard for King James to be that guy in the Informer’s eyes.

Things are slowly starting to change. The Informer still thinks nobody is better than Kobe, but at the same time the Informer thinks nobody is better than Lebron. Does that make sense?

In Sunday’s victory for the Cavs, James’ stat line was 27 points, 11 assist, 7 rebound and 3 steals.

Some will say okay that’s a pretty good game. Honestly, these are the numbers that Lebron is putting up on a night to night basis.

On Friday night, Lebron had 33 points, 15 rebounds, and 8 assist.
By the way, those numbers were the first time in four games that James did not produce a triple-double.

Are you F-ing kidding me?

Then you have to look over and watch Kobe beat his arch-rivals (Suns) by scoring 41 points with a torn pinkie tendon on his shooting hand.

Are these really the types of performances the Informer is going to be seeing for the rest of the year?

Finally, do you realize the Informer just wrote an entire blog about how awesome the NBA is and didn’t even get a chance to talk about Chris Paul (The best PG in the NBA, yes better than Nash), the Dallas Mavericks and Jason Kidd, how awesome the Spurs have been playing, how scary the Denver Nuggets and Utah Jazz are going to be in the playoffs, or even the fact that the Portland Trailblazers may make the playoffs even though Greg Oden hasn’t played a game all year?

If none of this makes sense the Informer apologizes.

I am yapping like a 13-year old school girl who just got her own phone.

It just doesn’t seem possible that the NBA can be this good. So many stories, so many individual performances followed by great team performances. Just a perfect storm of an NBA season.

Like the Informer said, right now he is just a giddy little school girl.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Rehash The Past

The Informer is working on a NBA blog that he is hoping to post sometime next week.

Until then, the Informer is going back in time to review one of his favorite ariticles.

Obviously this just means the Informer is being to lazy to write something new.

O well, its the Informer's blog.


When ESPN turned 25 they led up to their birthday with a series of sports lists.

Well, in three weeks the Informer turns 21, so I am going to start my own little countdown.

This week I am going to showcase my 21 favorite sports movies that I have seen during my youth, next week I will have another list, and this will continue right up to the day I turn the big 2-1.

Remember I have little space, so some of these choices will not be able to be explained in depth, but trust me these are all great movies.

21. "Friday Night Lights"-Great movie, loses points because I have only seen it once.

(The Informer stands by his decisions to put Lights number 21. This movie has a great ending, but the rest of the movie is pretty slow. I am just the messanger.)

20. "Remember the Titans"-I will admit it, I cried at least once during this movie.

(Yes, the Informer enjoys a good cry when a movie warrants one. And no, this does not make the Informer a complete wuss.)

19. "Jerry Maguire"- Show me the Money.

(I swear to God, Jerry is a few more Tom Cruise Scientologist moments away from getting thrown off the list.)

18. "Major League I and II"- Lets just say the plot is a little far fetched, but any time washed up pros get together with guys who played in the California Penal League only good things can happen.

(Best Quote of the Movie..."Just a bit outside.")

17. "Miracle"-USA! USA! USA!

16. "Mystery Alaska"- Just an all around fun movie, if you like hockey check it out.

15. "The Program"-Lets just say that if I could be one guy ever, it would probably be the steroid freak, Lattimer. I really wish I was that crazy, I think it could be fun.

14. "Rocky1-4"-If you dont like "Rocky 1-4", you can quit reading right now. And if you like "Rocky V" you can quit reading right now.

13. "Field of Dreams"- You know I once built something and nobody came.

12. "A League of their Own"- Tom Hanks as a drunk manager of a womens baseball team, and you wonder why it is such a great movie.

11. "Blue Chips"- Shaq and Penny Hardaway team up with a white guy from Indiana, let the NCAA violations begin.

10. "Rad"- Bicycle movie from the 1980s. When I was a kid I would watch this movie religiously, just because Cru Jones was the man. And if you havent seen this movie it is a little dated now, but dont knock the selection until you have tried it.

(The best bad movie on the list. If you have not watched Rad, the Informer feels sorry for you childhood.)

9. "Kingpin"-What is better then an Amish bowler? An Amish bowler teamed up with a one armed man and Miss. Claudia.

("What did I just say?"
"I think I ripped my sack.")

8."Caddyschack"- Just a killer cast, Chase, Dangerfield and Murray.

7. "Rounders"-One of my favorite movies ever, but since some people dont consider poker a sport I had to drop it down on the list.

6. "Above the Rim"-Man, I wish Tupac was still alive.

5. "Tin Cup"- Probably one of the best finishes in any movie. Never has an ending made me feel so bad and so good at the same time.

4. "Hoosiers"- Usually considered the greatest sports movie ever. It gets number four on my list because I got caught watching the paint dry.

3. "Mighty Ducks 1,2,3"- I dont care if they are not great movies, these were the three most important movies of my childhood, so they go into the top five. Special props to the second one, obviously the best of the three.

2. "Happy Gilmore"- Probably my favorite Adam Sandler movie. It would be moved up to number one had he not spent the night with the grandma lady after his girlfriend left him.

1. "Varsity Blues"-Didnt everyone spend high school getting drunk, having sex on dryers, and playing football.? Well, if you didnt then you probably dont understand why Varsity Blues is number one. Just remember "Playing football at West Cannon is not the opportunity of a lifetime, but reading the Informer every week is."

(There are a few things the Informer would change about this list. One, where is the original "Bad News Bears?" Two how is "Kingpin" not ahead of "Caddy Shack?" I guess the Informer just got Munsoned out in the middle of nowhere. Finally, the Informer took a lot of heat for putting "Varsity Blues" number one. The Infomrer guesses that the people who criticized were also the same people who didn't spend high school getting drunk, having sex on dryers, and playing football.)

Friday, February 15, 2008

They Lost

They lost.

Back in 1998 when Randy was a rookie, the Minnesota Vikings lost the NFC Championship Game to the Atlanta Falcons.

The Informer was at basketball practice when he found out the best offense in football lost because the best kicker in the NFL that year, Gary Anderson, missed a game clinching field goal. Anderson hadn’t missed a field goal all year, perfect regular seaon, but missed the biggest kick of the season.

Moss that year set the NFL on fire by catching 17 touchdowns, a rookie record.

Fast forward ten years, to the greatest offensive team of all-time.

New England wasn’t just beating teams, they were humilating them.

Most offensive touchdowns and points in a season.

The best season a quarterback ever had.

The most touchdowns by a wide receiver in a single season.

Yet again, they lost.

Watching the Super Bowl in seemed like a bad dream.

The once dominant Patriots decided to play conservative.

For the first time all season, they played not to lose, instead of playing to show everyone their greatness.

What happened?

The New York Giants won.

The Patriots lost their chance at immortalitiy.

And the Informer was once again speechless.

Honestly, I have no idea what to say.

I can’t believe it happened.

For two days after the Super Bowl the Informer expected to hear he had a bad dream.

This couldn’t be true.

So what went wrong?

In the words of Luietenent Einhorn, “What do yo know about pressure?”

So what is left?

How does a fan deal with the loss?
In the Informer’s case he does not have the answer.

His team lost and there is nothing left to celebrate.

The team that couldn’t be beaten lost because they played scared.

His favorite player is being scrutinized because he didn’t make the catch.

But, at the end of the day all that matters is next year.

Maybe it sucks now, but the beauty of sports is always next year.

So everyone moves on, we go to the next sport, whether its March Madness, the NBA, or MLB.

At the end of the day the Informer will always remember the year that was.

The resurgance of the greatest receiver in the NFL today.

Tom Brady finally having the Stats and the Rings.

And maybe, just maybe, next year will be better.

It is the circle of the sports world.

There is always tommarow.