Before we begin the Informer would like to thank him and all of the readers that take the time to shop on amazon through this site. It really does put a smile on my face when I see that someone has made a purchase through my site. The Informer puts a lot of hard work into making this a readable and enjoyable blog and when he is rewarded by your kindness it makes him want to be even better.
So thanks Snige for the single biggest purchase ever made through the Informer's site, and thank you to all of the readers who have read and contributed, The Informer appreciates all of you. Lets continue the ball rolling and turn this website into a John Travolata...#Phenomenon
They have been loyal Chargers fans for a number of years, but they are being worn down by mediocre football and the lack of the Shawn Merriman dance.
Now the NFL FAN RULES state that Snige and his wife have to remain Chargers fans. The sports rules are simple and there is no jumping bandwagon from team to team just because your team is boring or they suck.
(From the Informer's perspective Snige was asking for another team to root for, not a new team, so we don't need to call him a fair-weather fan)
The rules are clear, you and your wife are stuck being Charger's fans and you must continue to root for them, and have your Sundays ruined by boredom on a weekly basis. The Informer also knows for a fact that Snige is a Cubs fan which means this guys life from April 1st to Dec 31st every year can't be much fun.
There is a loop hole however, and the Informers going to share it with you and help the Snige's find a new favorite player.
The Informer found this loop hole long ago when his favorite NFL player (Randy Moss) came into the league. At the time a young Informer was a 49ers fan because of Jerrry Rice, but once Moss got drafted the Informer became a die-hard Vikings fan. He watched every game, cried when they lost and defended Moss as the greatest to ever play the game.
Then Moss got traded to the Raiders. The Informer was forced to root for the sh*ttiest franchise in the world for two years but that's the risk you take when you follow a player and not a team. Honestly, It could have been worse, the Informer actually could have been Randy Moss and had to play football with his QB's being Aaron Brooks and 35 years old Kerry Collins. God the Raiders were awful, thank goodness Moss was smart enough to start dogging it so the Raiders would trade him.
After the Raiders experience, the Informer got to be a Patriots fan for 3 record breaking years where the man scored 50 touchdowns in 52 games and actually scored what should have been the game winning touchdown in the Super Bowl. Only Ellis F*cking Hobbs decided to screw up the perfect season.
DEEP BREATHS INFORMER.... DEEP BREATHS....
Okay sorry about that I lost my temper for a second, lets move on.
After his stint with the Pats Moss and the Informer had a short reunion with the Vikings, a horrible five week stretch with the Titans and last year coming full circle the Informer was once again a 49ers fan.
See that is the loop hole, you can have a favorite player that is not on your favorite team, thus you now must watch every game for both your team and your favorite players team.
But in order to do this you have to go all in.
You need to have jerseys and football cards and read everything you can to became an expert on said player. When the player gets traded you follow that player, there is no team loyalty when it comes to your favorite players, if you like Peyton Manning then by God where is my Orange Broncos jersey.
This can't be a half-assed attempt just to cheer for someone other then your crappy team because the football gods will sniff this out and make you pay. Trust the Informer you don't want to be on the bad side of the football gods.
We also have to follow another rule, NO AFC PLAYERs.
Listen the Chargers are your favorite team period! So you can't have a favorite player be in the same conference because it would be a conflict of interest.
Also if your favorite player and team both make the Supper Bowl or play each other you have to chose before the game who you are going to root for and put that guy or teams jersey on and root for them only.
You are not allowed to flip flop mid game or else everyone of your friends is entitled to call you really mean names, like booger and do do head. The rules are harsh but they are there for a reason.
Since we can't choose any players from the AFC that means you sadly wont be able to enjoy guys like Aj "THE SICKNESS" Green or Andrew Lucky but never fear there are plenty of stars in the NFC that you can and will enjoy.
So without Freddy Adu, here are the Top 10 guys who would make great new favorite players: (Snige also requested the Packers and Vikings not be on the list. That is understandable, those two teams are torture to watch on a weekly basis, even if the Informer loves Adrian Peterson.)
10. Russel Wilson
The Informer does not like Wilson, he thinks he is funny looking and that he got lucky last year and that Andrew Luck was robbed of the ROY because people stupidly gave votes to this guy instead of Luck.
They are also a West coast team so you wouldn't have to change your NFL viewing habits. Being a Chargers fan your used to going to the bar for the late afternoon games, well this trend will continue since the Hawks also play mostly late afternoon games.
9. Colin Kaepernick
Trust the Informer this guy is fun to watch. He makes big plays and is really fast. But the Informer was bored being a 49ers fan last year. They are a slow down old school in your face football team, but they are not flashy.
They are just solid. Maybe that is the kind of football you and your wife enjoy, if that is the case the Kaepernick and the 49ers probably should be your team.
8. Tony Gonzales
Here me out.
You can choose Gonzales this year because you respect the old man and want to root for his one last chance to make the Super Bowl. That also means you get to become a Falcons fan for a one year trial run.
Then over the course of the year you will get to watch Julio Jones and Matty Ice Ryan and decide if you want one of those guys to be your favorite player the next year.
Basically this is the loop hole inside the loop hole and you would be very close to upsetting the God's line, but if done correctly you would get a free year to try out your new favorite player, then when he retires next year you leave yourself open to free agency, or going back to the Falcons because you fell in love with Julio Jones. (I predict you will fall in love with Jones, he is a bad bad man)
This is a great option if you want to keep your options open.
7. Drew Brees
This is going to be a hard sell because Brees has been in the league 10 years, why haven't you been rooting for him all along. But then you mention how Brees started with the Chargers so you have always liked him, and you want to see him and his coach get revenge for the NFL screwing them last year.
And besides if the Chargers wouldn't have stupidly traded him away you would never have been forced to choose to follow another team.
The only downside is the Saints may not be very good anymore, and now you would be rooting for two teams that are pretty mediocre. On the plus side Brees is going to throw for 5,000 yards, so you will be entertained.
6. Pick A Rookie
Unfortunately it densest look like this years rookie class is going to have a breakout star. Thats what all the experts are saying, but the Informer promises there will be someone who breaks out.
Watch for this guy and be ready to pounce, you will have to declare before week 3 that this is your guy. But choose wisely the Informer once used this strategy to become a Bears fan to follow Rashaan Salamm after a 3 touchdown opening day. You can ask bears fans how that one turned out.
5. Doug "Hamster Wallet: Martin
Pros - Tampa Bay has sweet ass uniforms. His nickname (Give by the Informer) is the Hamster Wallet which is a play on words for the Ham wallet which is a seuxual pun. So it would be fun to get a custom made T-Shirt that says Hamster Wallet on it.
Cons - Yes he was great as a rookie, but your rolling the dice when you pick a runningback because the injury risks are so high. He could be the next Ray Rice, maybe not.
We know he is not the next Adrian Peterson, so that means you would always be rooting for a guy that is not the best at his position. ANd that is never fun because you want to be able to argue that your guy is the best. If you looke back everyone on this list can be put into that argument excpet the Hamster Wallet. He is just really good.
4. Adrian Peterson
Seriously you don't want to root for this guy every week? =================)
On the other hand, the Vikings are never going to win the Super Bowl so that would almost be like rooting for the NFC version of the Chargers.
3. Calvin's Johnson
This is the guy who is number one on the Informer's list to replace Randy Moss which means this maybe the year the Informer becomes a full fledged Lions fan. Good news for the Informer is the Lions also signed Reggie Bush, one of the Informer's all-time favorite players.
This means if you become a Calvin Johnson fan Snige you will have plenty of reading material because the Informer tends to write a sh*t ton about Calvin's Johnson.
The bad news, you have to watch for Matthew Stafford. And the guy is hard to cheer for. The Informer is not lying, he is smug and his face is weird looking. The Informer really doesn't like him, but that is the price you pay to root for a 2,000 yard receiver.
Pros - He is a right handed version of Michael Vick, only slightly better. Which means you are going to have (fingers crossed) many years of Holy-Sh*t did he just do that moments. He has the highest high side and the Informer would highly recommend him. The Informer currently owns 21 RG3 rookie cards so he is a believer, but.....
Cons - He is coming off knee surgery for the second time (once in college).
He is the second coming and a right handed version of Mike Vick which means he is going to be injured alot.
This means you could be rooting for Kirk Cousins on a weekly basis while having to become an investor in dog fighting rings to help keep RG3 busy during his downtime.
You would be taking a huge risk.
Also you would then be a fan of the "Redskins" which in today's society is already frowned upon. Basically every time you walk into the bar some knuckle head know it all would give you the speech about how you and your team are racist. So you have to keep that in mind.
(But seriously watch that video again, the song is bad ass, but the highlights, my gosh RG3 you are da mandingo)
1. Camster Newton
You would be jumping on the bandwagon right before it is about to leave the station. Good news, you wouldn't look like a front runner because the Panthers sucked last year. The best part of rooting for Cam Newton is the NFL is about to become his league, mark my words.
Plus they have the cool turquoise uniforms that kinda resemble the Chargers Powder Blue jersey.
The downside to rooting for the Panthers is people don't like Cam Newton. They think he is arrogant and selfish and pouts on the sidelines.
Yet you can counter all those arguments by saying he is the only qb in NFL history (Until Luck Does It) that has thrown for over 4,000 yards in his first two NFL seasons. You can point out that his team sucks, yet he continues to carry them and keeps them in games and that it is only a matter of time before he becomes the face of the NFL... Nobody who knows the game will argue with you on that point.
Plus he is 6'5 with RG3 speed. Which means he does all the things RG3 does, only he wont get hurt because he is the size of a Mack Truck.
One other down side is the Panthers have a terrible head coach. And I do mean terrible.
They are frustrating as all hell to watch. But your a Chargers fan so you should be used to watching terrible coaches and frustrating teams.
Those are your options my friend, or you can suck it up and hope Phil Rivers regains his gunslinging (Could Happen) abilities that once made him one of the best QB's in all of football.
Dont forget you finally got a new coach this year, life as a Charger might not be so bad now that you don't have to endure Norv Turner.
Thanks again for your support of the blog Snige, And I hope this helps you and your wife find a new sick ass mother f-word to love.