He just pulled a Nick Anderson dropping a 1-4 in his Super Picks contest and falling all the way out of the money.
Honestly the Informer can't explain all of the things that went wrong on Sunday. He had numerous chances for things to turn his way only to get kicked square in the man stuff over and over again. It was not good.
Nobody cares about the Informer's misfortunes.
Nobody cares that the Informer choked worse then Nick Anderson, the New York Knicks and that porn skank who stars in the Direct TV PayPerView Movie "Black Meat Sex Fest".
Yes add them all together and that is how bad the Informer choked.
(PS - The Informer did not make that movie up, the people at Direct TV are really perverted.)
"Informer you really are a loser. How do you have a picks blog claiming to be an expert and then go 1-4 when the money is on the line.
God where is Reggie Miller giving you the choke sign when you need him."
Honestly the Informer has no response. He is drinking Natties straight out of the can right now, and can't defend himself.
Maybe this video from a fake fan of the Informer's can help you understand the pain and agony the Informer is feeling.
"HE HAD A REALLY TOUGH NIGHT!!!!!"
"HIS PICKS CONTESTS JUST DIED AND SO DID HIS HOPES AND DREAMS OF PAYING HIS FAKE BOOKIE OFF WITH HIS SUPER PICKS CONTEST WINNINGS"
"YOUR LUCKY HE IS EVEN TRYING TO WRITE THIS BLOG FOR YOU READERS"!!!!!!!!!!!
"LEAVE THE INFORMER ALONE!!!!"
(On a side note, the Informer thought he was having a bad day until he watched that video, in retrospect the Informer is doing ok...WOW)
One final question, do you remember how after Nick Anderson choked in the 1995 NBA Finals he could no longer make free-throws and eventually cut his career short?
You guys don’t think that is what is going to happen to the Informer do you?
I mean the Informer just finished his third straight year of picking over 50 percent on his NFL picks blog.
He is just starting to become the blogger that his buddies can respect.
He can’t lose all of that because one Sunday the Informer needed one of ten different games to go his way in order to make money, only to have all ten go the opposite.
That will not haunt the Informer for the rest of his career, right?
This was just a one week blip in the radar.
The Informer is going to bounce back and keep giving you the fake reader fake money next year.
As you can tell the Informer has lost his mind...
He is no longer capable of logical thought when it comes to the NFL…
Shit, now the Informer has brought back the dot dot dot thingy…
Seriously someone needs to stop serving the Informer straight Natties cause its making the situation worse...
"GIVE ME BACK MY PICKS!!!!!!!!!!"
"YOU PICKED EM INFORMER....AAAAAAH....YOU MADE THOSE PICKS!!!!!!!!!!!!"
“Informer we the fake readers apologize for making fun of you earlier, and saying you choked a fat Calvin’s last name with your Super Picks.
Informer its not your fault....
NO Really Informer ITS NOT YOUR FAULT...
Can you please accept our apology and enlighten us with your Week 17 NFL thoughts, it really is our favorite blog to read each and every Monday.”
Wow Mr. Fake reader, you may have just helped perk the Informer up a smidge.
So now that we understand how the Informer is feeling tonight maybe we can move on with a civilized blog going over the wild week 17 in the NFL.
"Thoughts the Informer Thinks About "NFL WEEK 17"
(Informer Note -These are obviously the ones that don't Involve a “Super Picks Contest”"
1. Adrian Peterson
Sorry, his name deserved its own Space.
Did you guys see Peterson carry his team into the playoffs with his 199 yard rushing performance.
Which left him 6 yards short of the NFL record.
His 199 yards did give him the second greatest rushing season ever for an NFL running back and he became the 6th back in NFL history to rush for 2,000 yards.
Not bad for a running back playing in a passing league.
At the beginning of the year the Informer wrote how he was scared that Adrian Peterson’s career was going to be cut short because of the wicked knee injury he had 12 months ago.
The Informer talked about how Terrell Davis was never the same. Garrison Hearst. Gale Sayers.
The list goes on, basically any running back who ever blew his knee out was never the same. Maybe they found some minor success, but never anything like this.
Well the Informer is proud to say that not only is Peterson’s career not done, he is fully in the coversation of greatest backs in NFL history.
He now has the numbers, the records and the leading a shitty team to the playoffs on his resume (Barry Was the King of Leading Sh*t Teams to the Playoffs).
The Informer is not going to lie, Peterson just jumped into a tie for second place on the Informer’s list to replace The Great One when he retires.
1. Calvin Johnson - Kinda sad he only had 72 yards receiving, which left him short of 2,000 for the Season.
Really Matt Stafford, you picked your team's 12th loss in a row to stop forcing the Ball to Calvin?
Shame on you!
2. The Sickness and Adrian Peterson - Did you know AJ Green’s sophomore season stats are on par if not better then Randy’s? Its true, you can look’em up.
And we just explained what Peterson did, but in case the Informer didn’t give Peterson his proper respect the Informer would like all of his readers to stand up right now and start a slow clap.
Well done A.D. Or is it A.P.? That always confuses the Informer.
3. The Rookies - More on Andy Lucky and RG3 in a minute.
4. Dez Bryant - The Informer thinks you got robbed of your place in the Pro-Bowl. You carried the Cowboys on your back to the point that you had to leave Sunday Nights loss with a Back injury.
That is a pretty big monkey to be carrying around. (In this analogy the Cowboys would be the Monkey)
5. Julio Jones - For some reason the Informer keeps asking himself if he really likes Jones?
He is kinda easy to forget, while still being good.
Maybe its an Atlanta receiver thing.
I mean does anyone reading this blog really like Roddy White?
Why does the Informer think Jones is turning into one of those really good but nobody really notices receivers?
For now Julio stays in the top five, but don’t think the Informer did not see what that average Blackmon did the final 7 weeks in Jacksonville.
2. Peyton Manning
Sorry, his name deserves its own space.
The Informer wants to start a petition that everyone with a NFL MVP vote has to mark Adrian Manning, so there is a tie for MVP.
I think we can make this happen. IT NEEDS TO HAPPEN.
"Informer they can't share the MVP, Manning Obviously won it. He took his team to 13 wins and the #1 seed?"
"What are you drunk fake FAT!!!!! reader, Adrian Peterson just ran for over 2,000 yards and led his team to the playoffs. Come on Informer, this is Peterson's award"
Yes the fake readers are now calling each other names and starting fake reader feuds. The Informer would apologize but he is f*cking drunk.
Where were we?
O yea, Did you know the year Barry Sanders broke the 2,000 yard mark he shared his MVP award with Brett Favre who had led his team to 13 wins and the #1 seed.
Does that story sound familiar?
The Informer is on record saying this award should be Mannings, cause you can’t spell MVP without Peyton, but Adrian Peterson deserves half this year.
We live in a society where people no longer get trophies cause everyone is a winner, so why can’t we further that approach and let two guys who equally deserve the MVP AWARD, SHARE.
Like the Informer’s mama always said “Sharing is Caring.”
3. RG3 and Andrew Luck - RG3’s team won their division.
Luck took a team without its head coach to an 11 win season.
Both teams made the playoffs.
Both guys set numerous rookie records.
So who wins the rookie of the year?
The Informer is voting for Luck, if only because winning eleven games without your head coach is f*cking impressive. Just ask Drew Brees.#The Informer fully expects RG3 to win this award since the Informer bet that Andy Luck would. THE INFORMER REALLY SUCKS AT FAKE GAMBLING!!!!!!!!
The Informer's final argument would be that RG3 is the man but is he even the best rookie on his team?
Just saying the Alfred Morris factor and the fact that the Redskins won a game in which RG3 didn’t play makes the Informer lean towards the guy who only knows how to win 11-games.
With that said, What a great year.
In the Informer's mind we just watched the two best rookie QB’s to ever lace up dem boots. #Take it easy Dan Marino Fans/Vernie, he is in the discussion.
4. Andrew Luck - That 70-yard TD down the seem is the reason the Informer can’t get enough of your rookie cards.
What other QB in the NFL can make that pass? Aaron Rodgers? Tom Brady? Peyton Manning?
I think you get the Idea.
5. Alfred Morris - 1600 yards rushing. Not bad for a undrafted free-agent running back.
It is nice to see that Terrell Davis, Mike Anderson and Olandis Gary were not just flukes. #All no name running backs Mike Shannonhan turned into 1500 yard rushers.
6. CHUCKSTRONG - This probably should have been number one on the Informer’s list.
That is a bad job by me.
What a great story, and yes the Informer is 100 percent a Colts fan this year.
And hey, if they beat Baltimore next week that would set up a Colts vs. Broncos round 2 playoff game.
You really can’t make that stuff up.
7. Broncos and Patriots - They smelt blood in the water, and then like good sharks do, they went out and took care of business.
"Informer what the hell are you talking about, sharks don't take care of buisness, they smell blood in the water and attack. Come on man get your f*cking analogies straight."
Sorry the Informer is drunk, he was trying to point out that...
Thanks to the Texans meltdown in Indy, the Broncos will have home field advantage while the Patriots get to rest a week before beating up some second round team thus setting up the matchup everyone wants to see.
Manning vs. Brady to go to the Super Bowl V.
If the Informer was not sitting in his whitey tighties drinking his sorrows away he would most definitely have a BISP over the thought of Manning vs. Brady once again.
(Yes the Informer is shirtless with man titties flopping everywhere right now. Good luck getting that image out of your head for the rest of the blog.)
8. Elite Manning - Does anyone else think the Giants are somehow still going to win the Super Bowl?
9. San Fran 49ers - Randy Moss is on the #2 seed in the NFC which means he has a chance to get him that Ring.
On a side note - F*CK YOU ELLIS HOBBS!
Yes ELLIS HOBBS IS THE PIECE OF CRAP THAT DECIDED NOT TO COVER BURRESS, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS IN MAN TO MAN COVERAGE......
IF YOU DONT BELIEVE THE INFORMER WATCH THE VIDEO =====)
10. Hey Ravens, next time you decide to bench your starting QB and RB in the first quarter of a football game, could you maybe give the Informer a heads f*cking up so that he doesn’t pick you in his Super Picks Contest.
The Informer actually still almost covered this game but the Ravens Jacoby Jones was called out of bounds at the one-yard line with under a minute to play.
By out of bounds the Informer means he did not complete the 42-yard TD catch for the cover because he only got one f*cking foot down…
MOVE ON…MOVE ON….UMMMMBEEER)
11. You know what, the Informer is going to finish his last blog of 2012 with his misery.
So if your not in the mood to read about the reason the Informer lost his Super Picks Contest feel free to stop reading now, and just skip to the end for the only video that continuously makes the Informer laugh.
We already covered how the Ravens didn’t cover thanks to One Foot Jones, but how about those Bears up by 17 points at halftime only to win the game by 2 points.
How you say, well they were up by ten with six minutes left in the fourth quarter and they had just stopped the Lions on 3rd and 15 after Stafford slid down in front of two defenders fifteen yards from a first down.
But wait, not one, but two Bears defenders jumped on to Stafford which according to the slide rule that has been around for FIFTY F*CKING years is a 15-yard penalty and an automatic first down.
Obviously the Lions marched down to score the game covering (not winning) garbage time TD.
Leaving just enough time for the Bears to drive down the length of the field giving the Informer a touch of hope, only to kneel the clock out instead of kicking the game covering field-goal. #Gambling Gods are f*cking mean
Reason number three. The Informer decided to send a text to the leader of his picks contest that read, “Give me the Falcons, Steelers Packers Ravens and Bears.”
That is significant because that text led to 1-4 and was sent five seconds after the Informer erased the text that said give me “Bills Cowboys Steelers Titans and 49ers”.
The Informer is not making that f*cking shit up.#3 wins would have given the Informer sole possession of second place....F*CK ME IN THE F*CKING GOAT ASS!!
Instead the Informer took four home teams off the list in order to back road Favorites and the Falcons.
TV TIME OUT!!!!!!!!!!! The Informer needs to chug beer. (No the Informer was not saying "A" beer, he was saying BEER)
4. Lets just say that the Arizona Cardinals late td gave them a cover over the 49ers.
Lets just say that cover gave one of the Super Picks contest guys a perfect week, thus leading to the Informer dropping out of the top four all-together.
Lets just say, yes the Informer had a 1-game lead on third place, a 1.5 game lead on fourth and a 3 game lead on the guy who eventually won third place.
All the Informer needed was one f*cking game. F*CK THE PACKERS
5. The best part about Sunday was the Informer still had a chance to win 3rd place if the Dallas Cowboys could force a push or cover on the three point spread.
Yes after the Informer’s 1-4 performance he still had a chance.
But then Tony Romo happened.
Now the Informer knows how it feels to be a Cowboys fan.
The Informer doesn’t even care the Cowboys lost, the Informer is pissed cause the Cowboys had the ball with 3 minutes to go and they were f*cking going to push the game.#Informer wins money
All Romo had to do was not throw a f*cking interception.
What did Romo Do?
He threw a f*cking INT............
And no it was not an INT down-field which would lead to the Redskins running out the clock.
No, No he threw his INT in the backfield giving the Redskins first and ten at the Cowboys 30 yard line, aka field goal position.
The good news, there was only three minutes left, so there was a chance that the Redskins would just run the clock down with two first downs and a kneel down, you know like the F*cking Bears did?
Well that almost happened, except the Cowboys had three timeouts left.
When the Redskins finally got first and goal thanks to a penalty there was still 2:35 seconds left in the game, instead of the magic kneel down mark that is the two minute warning.
This meant that the Redskins could not run the clock completely out.
Basically it meant the Skins were either going to score a TD or finish the game off with a field-goal with 20 seconds left. Like what the Informer needed the Bears to f*cking do, but the Informer digresses.
The Infomrer new that it was just a matter of time until the Redskins covered.
The Informer nodded his head and accepted his defeat with pride and dignity that would make any Kansas City Chiefs fan proud.
And just like that, on third down Morris lunged into the end-zone.
Game Over Man.
But wait, there are people jumping around at the goal line and one of the refs just pointed that it is COWBOYS BALL….
Holy Shit, Alfred Morris just fumbled and the Cowboys got the ball and are going to cover…
This would be the point of the game where the Informer goes for the low five and Ty Chambers pulls his hand back and yells PSYCH!!!!!!!!!!!!
No it was not a fumble, it was a TD then fumble.
The Gambling Gods really do have a sick f*cking sense of humor.
It wasn't enough that the Informer was going to lose, they had to give one last f*cking faint chance of hope before they kicked him square in the dick.
Only on Sunday it was just one long continuous "DICK KICK", whether it was the Texans taking the lead and then giving up a kick return for touchdown on the next play.
Or the one footed TD catch in the Ravens game.
Lets not forget the almost Adrian Peterson fumble, or the split second when the Bears were going to get the ball back before the 15-yard penalty. #The Informer does not need to be near sharp objects right now.
The Informer is going to take his beating for one reason, there is always next year.
See you guys in 2013.............
PS - The Informer set a new record for number of blogs written in 2012, so thanks to everyone who follows, reads, retweets, buys from amazon or tells their friends about the Informer.
THE INFORMER LOVES YOU ALL AND HOPES HE IS ABLE TO ENTERTAIN YOU GUYS!!!!!!!
Happy New Year and with that the NFL regular season is over.
Please enjoy one last video that made the Informer laugh in his time of sorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!