Sunday, December 29, 2019

The Informer's 2019 NFL Picks: Week 17 (Aka the last blog of the decade)


Before we get to the Week 17 NFL Picks, I figured we would close the decade out by answering a few twitter questions. As always, please remember that all of these questions came from an actual "Informer burner account" on Twitter.

I hope you are entertained.

My awards are:

MVP: Lamar Jackson - Anyone who does not vote Lamar the NFL MVP this season deserves to loose there ballot.

Coach of Year: John Harbaugh - When you have the best record in football because you design a system around your players -- instead of trying to make players fit "your system" -- then you automatically get to be The Informer's COY.

Rookie of the Year: AJ Brown - With all due respect to Josh Jacobs, Kyler Murray, Danny Dimes, Gunner Milksteak and the other great 2019 rookies; AJ Brown has the resume to win ROY and he is actually playing on a playoff team. So he gets my vote.

Offensive Player of the Year: Michael Thomas - Anytime you break Marvin Harrison's NFL record for most catches in a single season you are going to win The Informer's Offensive Player of the Year Award.

Defensive Player of the Year: Ummm . . .I don't watch defense so I guess I'll go with one of the Bosa brothers or a Watt. You guys pick.

NFL Handicapper of the Year: I don't want to toot this guys horn to much, but The Informer is currently 136-99-5 against the spread (which according to NFL pick watch dot com makes him #1 on the internet amongst all experts). So I guess I really have no choice but to give The Informer "The Informer's handicapper of the year" award.


I have five:
  1. Drink all the Natties
  2. Eat all the Blimpies
  3. Put Ketchup on my steak
  4. Write more blogs
  5. Post more Twitter Poll Tournaments.  

Sure why not.

Mount Rushmore of Movies:
  • Fast & Furious 5
  • Fast & Furious 6
  • Fast & Furious 7
  • Fate of the Furious
Movies not named Fast & Furious:
  • The Town
  • Warrior
  • The Dark Knight
  • Super Troopers 2
Fast Food Places
  • Blimpies
  • Casey's Pizza
  • Taco Bell
  • Jersey Mike's
TV Shows:
  • Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia
  • Blue Bloods
  • Chicago PD
  • Gotham
Songs:
  • Miley Cyrus- Nothing Breaks Like a Heart
  • Florida Georgia Line - May We All
  • Brantley Gilbert - Bottoms Up
  • Cole Swindell - You Should Be Here
And Finally, The Informer's NFL All Decade Team:

QB: Tom Brady
RB: Adrian Peterson
RB: Marshawn Lynch
WR: Julio Jones
WR: Calvin Johnson
Slot WR: Julian Edelman
TE: Gronk

Defense: Again, The Informer don't watch no defense. You guys can pick.



I can't see the future, but sadly this feels about right.

(My Super Picks as of writing this blog - Bears, Titans, Eagles, Packers, 49ers. Just know these picks will probably get changed to Ravens, Rams, Eagles, Packers, 49ers. Or maybe Ravens, Rams, Colts, Pats, Packers. Basically I have no freaking clue what to do. I just know if I go 5-0 and I am going to make money. #DefGonnaChoke #ClassicInformer)



Good gosh man. Why don't you just say I can never drink Natty Lights again. At least that wouldn't be so painful.

(The Informer note - I take Mahomes because I love Mahomes, but f-word that is a tough call. )


Ummm . . .Did you all see that Burrow guy throwing the football for LSU yesterday? Heck no I don't want AJ to leave the Bengals. He is about to be playing with the greatest quarterback in NFL history not named Mahomes. That has to be a good for "The Sickness".


QB:
  1. Mahomes
  2. Lamar Jackson
  3. DeShaun Watson
  4. Matt Ryan
  5. Kyler Murray/Russ Wilson
RB:
  1. Run CMC
  2. Saquon Barkley
  3. Alvin Kamara
  4. Derrick Henry
  5. Nick Chubb
WR:
  1. Michael Thomas
  2. Julio Jones
  3. DeAndre Hopkins
  4. AJ Green
  5. Tyreke Hill
TE:
  1. Travis Kelce
  2. George Kittle
  3. Zack Ertz
  4. Hunter Henry
  5. Noah Fant

In no particular order (I love them all equally like one loves their children equally):



This was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. I am not kidding. In the end I went:
  • Ken Griffey Jr Baseball (SNES)
  • Tecmo Super Football (NES)
  • Madden (PS3 & PS4)
  • NCAA College Football (PS2 & PS3)


With all due respect to the time my brother Matty was born on December 29th, I am going with Randy Moss doing Randy Moss things while leading the Pats to a 16-0 record and breaking the NFL record for touchdown catches in a season.



As you can see The Informer only needs four wins to reach 140 correct picks on the season for the second time in his career. The Informer also needs to go 5-0 in his Super Picks contest to win money to buy the wife's mini van a new transmission. So needless to say, we might as well just go 16-0 today. Seems like that would be the perfect solution to The Informer's problems.

So with that in mind, here are The Informer's Week 17 NFL Picks. As always, please remember these picks are only to be used for illegal gambling purpose. Any other use without the express written consent of The Informer is totally not strictly prohibited because this is a blog and no one is reading anyways.

#Yolo

THE PICKS:

Titans (-8.5)

Bengals (+3)

Bears (-3)

Colts (-6.5)

Falcons (+1)

Redskins (+13)

Panthers (+14)

Eagles (-4)

Ravens (PK)

Jets (PK)

Patriots (-16.5)

Packers (-12.5)

Chargers (+10.5)

Rams (-7.5)

49ers (-3.5)

Raiders (+3.5)

That is a wrap on another winning season. Good luck Week 17 y'all. I hope your Sunday is filled with Natty Lights, winning parlays, Super Pick Contest wins and all the illegal gambling money you're heart desires.

In the words of Bill Belichick: "We are on to 2020".

Informer Out.


 2019 NFL PICKS RECORD

Overall - 136-99-5
Last Week - 8-7-1
Winning Weeks - 12-3-1


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Sunday, December 22, 2019

The Prodigy's 2019 NFL Picks: Week 16



Hey all by now you know the drill, The Prodigy is a 9-year wiz kid with some of the best NFL picks on the internet. So if you like to listen to people who hand out winners, then I would highly recommend you check out the video below #DoItAndWin.


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The Informer's 2019 NFL Picks: Week 16

The Informer is 128-92-4 against the spread heading into Week 16, for those wondering here are my bets:

Texans -3 (Push)
Pats -6.5
Rams +6.5
Lions +8
Raiders +7.5
Jags +7.5
Titans +4
Giants -1
Steelers -3.5
Bengals -1.5
Panthers +7
Ravens -10
Dallas -2.5
Cards +9
KC -7
GB +5

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Sunday, December 15, 2019

The Prodigy's 2019 NFL Picks: Week 15



Ok so here is the deal; normally I post The Prodigy's picks and then say listen/watch  his video if you would like an explanation. But looking back on it, that doesn't seem like its the best way to help promote The Prodigy -- who is one of the absolute best straight up NFL pickers on the internet -- so this week if you all want the winners here is what you have to do:

Click on the video and watch.

That is it. Just take the time to watch the video.

I promise y'all it is entertaining, informative and it is something that people who like to pick winners should do.

Keep up the good work young AC, you are one hell of a model NFL expert.

#WatchTheVideo #GetThePicks #WinTheMoney




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The Informer's 2019 NFL Picks: Week 15


Before we get to this week's NFL picks I thought we could answer a few questions from The Informer's many followers on Twitter. As always, please remember these tweets/questions came from actual real life Twitter accounts. 


I get this question a lot and here is almost always my answer: Did Kelly Kapowski leave Zack Morris for a professor at California University only to realize her mistake in time to fall back in love with Zack so they could run away to Vegas and get married? Did Chic know that Harry Stamper would blow up that Asteroid just minutes after saying goodbye to Gracey because he knew that Harry didn't know how to fail? Is this the worst answer to a "Flat Earth Question" ever? Is the person who tweeted this question actually The Informer pretending not to be The Informer? Was Gordon Bombay minutes away from realizing his dreams of becoming a professional hockey player only to get blindsided in the knee by some cheap minor league goon?  Is The Informer drinking Natty Lights at seven forty five on a Sunday morning? Is The Informer 115-90-4 against the spread on the season? Will more than six people read this blog? Does 6x6=36? Did Jackie Joyner Kersey win a Gold medal at the 2000 Olympics (I actually don't know this one, so if anyone has an answer hit me up)? Could Happy Gilmore beat Tiger woods in a long drive contest? Has The Informer's point been made? Can I move onto the next question now?


I did three lineups today, they are:

QB: Mahomes
RB: Ekler
RB: Miles Sanders
WR: Larry Fitz
WR: King Cooper Kupp
WR: Javaris Landry
TE: Tyler Higbee
Flex: George Kittle's are for winners
D: Texans

QB: 40oz of Matty Ice
RB: Dalvin Cook
RB: Run CMC
WR: Valdes Scalding
WR: Tyrell Williams
WR: Mike Williams
TE: OJ Howard
Flex: Phillip Linsey
D: Chiefs

QB: Mahomes
RB: Ekler
RB: Gurley
WR: Julio
WR: Landry
WR: Mike Williams
TE: Higbee
Flex: OJ Howard
D: Patriots


It is physically impossible for me to just pick one, so here are five players that will absolutely not be on any of my teams next season unless they are auto drafted or there is a fire:
  1. Melvin Gordon
  2. David Johnson (this one hurts, I had him in a ton of leagues this year)
  3. Cam Newton
  4. Evan Engram
  5. Alshon Jeffry


Listen y'all, I am willing to start talking about James Harden if the conversation is "Who are the 5 greatest scorers in NBA History". But if you all start slandering the great Mamba's name with words like "Harden is better than Kobe" than I am going to start a riot and once said riot is over I am going to write a strongly worded letter where I explain to you how I no longer think we can be friends.

You know I am starting to really like this @NotInformers guy. Not only do we have similar names on twitter, but he seems really smart; he is asking excellent questions; and on top of all that he is giving The Informer compliments. I mean I don't want to make anything official, but keep things up like this @NotInformers and I have a feeling you are going to win "The Informer's favorite person on Twitter this week" award.

As for the question: I really suck at picking just one game. Hell, I really suck when I have to pick my Top 5 favorite games. But what I am really good at is picking every NFL game while making money for you the readers. So I decided this year that is what I was going to focus on. No more "I love this bet the most" talk. Just take em all and we make money. 

 It is that simple. #NothingIsAStayAway

 (The Informer after the thought note -- Let me show you what I am talking about. Last week The Informer went 12-3-1 against the spread (again money money money), but do you want to know what my record was in my "pick five games Super Pick contest" ? It was 2-3. I literally picked all three of my losses instead of some how picking 3, 4 or 5 of my 12 wins. So long story short, we pick and bet every game and we make money. Its that simple.)



I do not. My rule for the first half under is to bet it early in the year while it is the best bet in sports history, but once middle October hits and Vegas starts messing with the lines and NFL teams start rounding into shape I jump off the ship before it sinks.



According to NFLPickwatch dot com I would be tied for 2nd place amongst all the paid experts from the major websites.

Oh man, I am not sure I have drank enough Natty Lights to answer such a serious question. But since you asked I guess I would go with:

PIZZA PLACES
  • Casey's General Store
  • Pappa Murphy's
  • Pappa John's (there is no mountain without Garlic Butter sauce)
  • Pizza Hutt 

TYPES OF PIZZA
  • Casey's Taco
  • Cheese
  • Stuffed Crust
  • Supreme

I liked a lot of movies in 2019 but didn't really love a lot, so I am just going to go with Captain Marvel. I thought it was fun, lighthearted and my daughter loved it. As for TV show there is nothing I enjoyed (and cringed watching more) than Yellowstone. And finally, my favorite new song of 2019 was definitely:


(The Informer Note - Technically this happened in December of 2018, but I did not see it until January of 2019 so it wins for me. Plus this is my blog so if I want to change the rules I can totally change the rules.)


I am not sure why you used the word "seriously" here, but okay. My favorite game day food is called "Super Mucho Potato Ole". 

 Here is how you make them:
  • Cook some frozen potato ole's/coins
  • Layer bean dips over said coins
  • Layer the cooked hamburger meat on next
  • Then spread nacho cheese on top. 
  • Take a jar of salsa and dump it on next.
  • Finally put a crap ton of shredded cheese on top of it all and cook for 7-10 minutes.
  • Once cheese is melted serve with sour cream, lettuce and guacamole. Also, this can be eat with a fork, with a chip or in a taco shell. 

I am not going to say this Nacho Ole recipe will change your life, but I will say if done correctly this Nacho Ole recipe will change your life.

Please enjoy.



Ummmm . . . I literally have no idea what you are talking about @NotInformers. Also, speaking of Social Security Numbers . . .



Check your DM's in 7-10 business day's Mr Anderson. I'll make sure it is emailed to you promptly.

So basically I need to beat a Giant who could drink 100 beers in one sitting and another guy who once drank 60 beers in 7 hours? I mean, I definitely wouldn't be betting against myself if that is the case.


The Saints vs the Chiefs, Patriots or Ravens #GottaSeeWhoIsHealthyGoingIntoPlayoffs.


No.

Is it that time already? Okay then, here are The Informer's Week 15 NFL Picks. 

 As always please remember these picks are only to be used for illegal and degenerate purposes. Any other use or broadcast of these picks without the written consent of The Informer is strictly prohibited by absolutely no one.

Jets (+17)

Lions (+5.5)

Eagles (-6.5)

Packers (-4.5)

Patriots (-9.5)

Texans (+3)

Panthers (+7)

Chiefs (-9)

Giants (-3)

Bills (PK)

Jags (+7)

Cardinals (+3)

Falcons (+11)

Rams (-1.5)

Vikings (-1)

Saints (-9)


THE INFORMER'S 2019 NFL PICKS RECORD
Overall: 115-90-4

 Last Week: 12-3-1

 Overall Winning Weeks: 10-3-1


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Sunday, December 8, 2019

The Prodigy's 2019 NFL Picks: Week 14



Ladies and gentlemen if you are wanting to know who is going to win during Week 14 of the 2019 NFL Season then I would suggest you take The Prodigy's advice. The kid knows what he is talking about. Here are his picks and the video below explaining them.

#KidsGotSkillz


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The Informer's 2019 NFL Picks: Week 14



One day I promise I will come back and write a proper blog. Until that time here are The Informer's 2019 NFL Picks against the spread. For those wondering; according to NFL Pick Watch Dot Com if The Informer were a paid expert my 103-87-3 record would be tied for the 6th best on the internet. Which obviously means we got work to do #If you ain't first you are last (although in this case being last means we are making the readers money).

Thanks for everyone who routinely follows along.

With that said, here are The Informer's 2019 NFL Picks Week 14. As always please remember these picks are only to be used for illegal and degenerate purposes. Any other use of these picks without the written consent of The Informer is strictly prohibited by absolutely no one.

Here are the picks:

Cowboys (Loss)

Ravens (-6.5)

Redskins (+14)

Denver Donkey's (+10)

Saints (-2)

Browns (-7)

Falcons (-3)

Lions (+13.5)

Dolphins (+5)

Colts (+3)

Chargers (-3)

Patriots (-3)

Steelers (-3)

Titans (-3)

Rams (+1.5)

Giants (+9.5)


THE INFORMER'S 2019 NFL PICKS RECORD
Overall: 103-87-3

 Last Week: 10-6

 Overall Winning Weeks: 9-3-1

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Sunday, December 1, 2019

The Prodigy's 2019 NFL Picks: Week 13


The Prodigy's Picks:

Lions 34 Bears 28

Bills 35 Cowboys 31

Saints 31 Falcons 21

Titans 21 Colts 28

Jets 17 Bengals 7

Redskins 23 Panthers 38

49ers 27  Ravens 31

Tampa Bay 17 Jaguars 28

Browns 31 Steelers 28

Packers 34 Giants 23

Eagles 31 Dolphins 21

Rams 28 Cards 17

Chargers 28  Broncos 27

Raiders 24 Chiefs 35

Pats 35 Texans 28

Vikings 35 HGHawks 38


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The Informer's 2019 NFL Picks: Week 13



The Informer apologizes for the holiday snafus', but there was some technical difficulties this week (The Informer fell asleep during his scheduled blogging time) so there will be no Informer article this week. Never fear though, even though there will be no witty write up, The Informer is still going to share his expert picks so that everyone can win money. So without any further ado, here are The Informer's Week 13 NFL Picks.

As always please remember to use these picks only for illegal debauchery things and with absolute reckless abandon with zero regard for human life.

THE PICKS:



Green Bay (-6.5)

Washington (+10.5)

49ers (+6)

Colts (+1)

Eagles (-11)

Chiefs (-11)

Jags (+3)

Bengals (+3.5)

Rams (-3)

Donkeys (+3.5)

Browns (-2.5)

Patriots (-3)

HGHawks (-2.5)

THE INFORMER'S 2019 NFL PICKS RECORD

Overall: 93-81-3

 Last Week: 5-9

 Overall Winning Weeks: 8-3-1



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Sunday, November 24, 2019

The Prodigy's 2019 NFL Picks: Week 12



The Prodigy: Hey Informer?

The Informer: What?

The Prodigy: Can I sing you a song?

The Informer: Is it going to be Queen's "We are the champions" to brag about how you beat me in "straight up picks" this season?

The Prodigy: No, it is definitely not "We" are the champions.

The Informer: Okay then, I don't see why you can't sing a song then.

The Prodigy: Sweet . . .Here goes:

I've won more games. . . Week after Week . . .
I've done my winning . . . But committed no crime . . .
And bad mistakes . . . I've made a few . . .
I've had my share of bad picks kicked in my face . . . But I've come through . . .
And we mean to go on and on and on and on . . .
Because . . . I am the champion . . . I am the Champion . . .
No time for Informer's because I AM THE CHAMPION . . . OF THE WORLD!!!

The Informer:

The Prodigy: Don't be a sore loser Informer. Admit you lost then post my picks clown.

The Informer: Kid . . .You kicked my teeth in "straight up". You got talent. You got moxy. And you got a great eye for the game. Keep doing what you do. Trust your instincts. They are spot on. I am very damn proud to announce that you kicked my ass this year. Because that means I now have a challenge I was not expecting for the future. So rest assured young genius, The Informer is already looking forward to a rematch it 2020. 

As for now; here are The Prodigy's unreal NFL picks. The kid knows how to pick a winner. I suggest y'all listen. 

Colts 31 Texans 34 (ATS: Colts +3.5)

Broncos 24 Bills 31 (ATS Bills -4)

Giants 21 Bears 28 (ATS Bears -6)

Steelers 31 Bengals 17 (ATS Steelers -6.5)

Dolphins 20 Browns 35 (ATS Browns +10.5)

Tampa 24 Atlanta 28 (ATS Falcons -3.5)

Panthers 28 Saints 34 ( ATS Panthers +9.5)

HGHawks 31 Eagles 28 (ATS Hawks PK)

Lions 34 Washington 21 (ATS Lions -4)

Raiders 31 Jets 17 (ATS Raiders -3)

Jags 28 Titans 27 (ATS Jags +3.5)

Cowboys 21 Pats 33 (ATS Pats -6.5)

Packers 37 49ers 38 (ATS Packers +3.5)

Ravens 34 Rams 24 (ATS Ravens -3)









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The Informer's 2019 NFL Picks: Week 12



Indianapolis Colts @ Houston Texans (-3.5)

Normally I would share my proof of Thursday Night Football pick tweet, but let's be honest: What is the point of sharing a proof of loss tweet? That's like when Wells Fargo asks me to verify who I am when I call in to give them money to pay for my student loans. I mean seriously, are random strangers actually calling Wells Fargo and saying: "Hey I need to pay this dudes loan off"? Because if they are, please contact The Informer. I will gladly hand you all of my personal information without any questions asked.

Anyways, which means brace yourself folks there is a lot of ranting and very little sports or gambling insight in today's blog, what I am trying to say is I bet the Texans. The Texans didn't cover. So I am not going to go back through thousands of tweets (yes I know I tweet to much, but y'all should follow me anyways) just to prove that I was wrong.

You can either trust that I am not lying, or add another win to my winners column at the end of the year.

It is your choice.

Pick: Texans (-3.5)
Detroit Lions @ Washington Redskins (+4)

As I sit on hold for the fifth straight day trying to get a representative from Disney + to actually answer the phone and tell me why my Disney + does not work, I can't hep but wonder: Who is the bigger dumpster fire of an abortion?

Disney + and their customer service, or this absolute abomination of a clogged toilet that the NFL is masquerading as the Washington Redskins?

Well, after hours of deep intense thought (literally been on hold for hours), I have decided that Disney+ is the winner. Not because Washington isn't complete hot garbage -- they are -- no Disney + is the winner because they took my money while not providing a service. And then when I tried to call and ask them about said "taking of money with lack of service", instead of sending me to a representative, their automated system doubled down and routed my call to a place where the f***** Star Wars theme song plays on an endless loop and no customer service rep ever answers the phone (I am not kidding, they do not ever answer the phone).

So congrats Disney plus. You are this week's biggest dumpster fire of an abortion. You should be very proud. Your commitment to non-service truly is magical.

As far as the gambling goes; I am betting Washington because as we all just learned from the Disney plus story, The Informer love spending all his money on useless trash.

Pick: Washington (+4)


 Miami Dolphins @ Cleveland Browns (-10.5)
Denver Donkey's @ Buffalo Bills (-4)
New York Giants @ Chicago Bears (-6)

Betting three road dawgs against teams with playoff aspirations (yes the Bears & Browns are delusional, but they do still think they can run the table and make the playoffs) may not be the smartest move. But then again, neither is drinking 15 Natty Light's while writing a blog at nine o'clock on a Sunday morning.

And yet, here we are.

Pick: Dolphins (+10.5) Donkey's (+4) Giants (+6)


 Oakland Raiders @ New York Jets (+3)

My initial reaction was to say when two bad teams play you should always take the points. But after my initial reaction wore off, I thought to myself that I kind of think the Raiders maybe a good football team. So then it turned into a case of a good team playing a crap team with said good team only laying three points; which means the rule says it is actually smart to lay the points here.

Does that make sense?

Pick: Raiders (-3)
Carolina Panthers @ New Orleans Saints (-9.5)

The Informer: You would have to be an absolute drunken moron to bet Kyle Allen on the road against the red hot New Orleans Saints.

Also The Informer: Hey bookie, give me the Panthers (+9.5) . . . I got a drunken gut feeling on this one.

Pick: Panthers (+9.5)
Tampa Bay @ Atlanta Falcons (-3)

I really wish I could quit the Atlanta Falcons. Oh well, maybe next week.

Pick: Falcons (-3.5)
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Tennessee Titans (-3.5)
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cincinnati Bengals (+6.5)

I am taking the Jags and Steelers in these two contests.

Okay, now that we have that out of the way, here is The Informer's smoking hot wife's Blimpie Best Meme of the Week:


I am not gonna lie that one is funny. And she is smoking hot.

Pick: Jags (+3.5) Steelers (-6.5)


 Dallas Cowboys @ New England Patriots (-6.5)

I took the Dallas Cowboys in my "pick a team to lose" survivor poll. I also picked the New England Patriots for this blog, with my bookie and in my Super Picks contest. So I guess you could say I am going to be rooting pretty hard for the Tom Brady's today.

Pick: Pats (-6.5)
Seattle HGHawks @ Philadelphia Eagles (PK)

This lined started at Eagles -2.5 and has moved 2.5 points in favor of the HGHawks. What that means is Vegas is going to be rooting very hard for the Eagles to win. So if you are picking Seattle, be prepared for multiple "defensive holding penalties" on third down and an egregious amount of "there was nothing egregious about that obviously egregious pass interference" calls going against Seattle.

That's just the way Vegas does business when they need a team to lose. I just hope that Russ is able to get over the Vegas roadblock and continue his MVP push with a win.

Pick: HgHawks (PK)
Green Bay @ San Francisco 49ers (-3)

Everyone repeat after The Informer:

I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . Drink more Natty's . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . .  I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . F*** Disney + . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . Blimpies is the Best . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . What Would Harry Stamper Do . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . .  I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . . I will never bet against Aaron Rodgers in Primetime . . .      I WILL NEVER BET AGAINST AARON RODGERS IN PRIMETIME!!!!

We all on the same page here?

Pick: Green Bay (+3)
Baltimore Ravens @ Los Angeles Rams (+3)

Update on the Disney + fiasco - As I was finishing up this blog, they finally answered and advised me that a ticket has been submitted to look into my issues. For fun, here is our exact conversation:

Disney: We have submitted a ticket. It usually takes 2-3 days for them to resolve the issue.

Me: So if it is not fixed in 3 days do I call back and wait on hold for another 1.5 hours to let you know it didn't work.

Disney: Well it has already been submitted so calling back to re-submit the same problem will do you no good.

Me: Okay, so if it is not fixed in 3 days what should I do?

Disney: Well, if it is not fixed in 3 days you can definitely call us back and let us know.


Me:

On the plus side Disney now has my IP Address. So I am sure nothing bad is going to happen to my computers, credit cards, dogs, social security number, porn internet search history, banking information or devices after I called their service a dumpster fire of an abortion.

So at least I got that going for me.

Pick: Ravens (-3)

That is it for this week y'all. I hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday filled with winning parlays, footlong Blimpie Best, ice cold Natty Lights and the ability to watch unlimited Disney movies without getting a mother ******* error code #83 server down message.

See you next Sunday.

Informer Out.

THE INFORMER'S 2019 NFL PICKS RECORD

Overall: 88-72-3

 Last Week: 10-3-1

 Overall Winning Weeks: 8-2-1



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Sunday, November 17, 2019

The Prodigy's 2019 NFL Picks: Week 11



We will be back with a full blown article next week, for now here are The Prodigy's Week 11 picks and YouTube video explaining the picks.

Steelers 31  Browns 24 (ATS LOSS)

Falcons 17 Panthers 35 (ATS Panthers (-4)

Cowboys 35  Lions 28 (ATS Boys -7)

Jags 28  Colts 31 (ATS Colts -3)

Bills 34  Dolphins 24 (ATS Bills -6.5)

Texans 35  Ravens 38 (ATS Texans +4)

Broncos 24  Vikings 31  (ATS Donkeys +10.5)

Jets 10  Skins 7 (ATS Jets +1.5)

Saints 31 Tampa Bay 21 (ATS Saints -5.5)

Cards 27  49ers 34  (ATS Cards +10)

Bengals 14  Raiders 28 (ATS Raiders -12.5)

Pats 23  Eagles 20  (ATS Eagles +4.5)

Bears 24  Rams 28  (ATS Bears +6)

Chiefs 31  Chargers 28 (ATS Chargers +3.5)


The Informer's Straight Up Picks: Chiefs, Rams, Pats, Raiders, 49ers, Saints, Jets, Vikings, Ravens, Bills, Jags, Cowboys, Panthers, Steelers
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The Informer's 2019 NFL Picks: Week 1



Due to personal reasons (mainly alcoholism) there will be no article this week. We will be back next week with a full fledged blog I pinky promise. With that said, even thought there is no article, for the sake of historical evidence here are The Informer's Week 11 picks. Use them wisely (by wisely I obviously mean to win illegal gambling money).

THE INFORMER'S PICKS:

Steelers (+3)

Cowboys (-7)

Saints (-5.5)

Falcons (+4)

Jags (+3)

Donkeys (+10.5)

Jets (+1.5)

Dolphins (+6.5)

Ravens (-4.5)

Cardinals (+10)

Patriots (-4.5)

Bengals (+12.5)

Rams (-6)

Chiefs (-3.5)

THE INFORMER'S 2019 NFL PICKS RECORD
Overall: 78-69-2
Last Week: 7-5-1
Overall Winning Weeks ATS : 7-2-1



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Sunday, November 10, 2019

The Informer's 2019 NFL Picks: Week 10



Here is the deal; last week The Informer went an abysmal 3-12 against the spread. The picks started out trash on Thursday night, turned into a dumpster fire by Sunday afternoon and eventually became an abomination by the time Tom Brady and the New England Patriots got their ****s punched by the Baltimore Ravens on Sunday Night Football.

It was bad.

And, just like every year when The Informer has one bad week, I have decided that writing this blog is for winners only. So starting this week, until The Informer starts handing out winners again, there will be no written blog, no funny jokes, no memes that make you roll on the floor laughing and no drinking of Natty Light.

Nope.

Fun time is over.

The Informer needs to get back on the right track and the best way to do that is to get back to the very basic strategy called: "Just pick some f******g winners you white trash fat drunk."

So with winning in mind, here are The Informer's Week 10 NFL Picks presented without comments or logic (unless I feel the need to explain the pick).

As always, please remember these picks are only to be used for illegal debauchery things like parlays, teasers, Super Picks contest, Natty Light Drinking contest, to gain entrance to a script club or to try and take all of Big Earl's money. Any other use of these picks without the written consent of The Informer is completely legal but would be in bad faith since The Informer asked nicely to only use them for illegal debauchery purposes.

Let's win some money.

Titans (+7) 

I did get the Chiefs -3.5 in my Super Picks contest and I took that. But the line getting up to (-7) is scary. Means there is a mother trucking load of money betting on Patrick Mahomes knee holding up. So I will be grabbing the Titans (+7) because I want to see Mahome's knee actually look like Mahome's knee before I go joining 85% of the betting public wagering against a home underdog.

Chargers (LOSER)

Bills (+3)

Bears (-2.5)

Cardinals (+4.5)

Giants (-2.5)

Falcons (+14)

Bengals (+10.5)

Packers (-5)

Dolphins (+12)

Rams (-3.5)

Cowboys (-3)

HGHawks (+6.5)

THE INFORMER'S 2019 NFL PICKS RECORD

Overall: 71-64-1

Last Week: 3-12

Overall Winning Weeks ATS : 6-2-1

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The Prodigy's 2019 NFL Picks: Week 10




Here are The Prodigy's Week 10 picks. If you like winning, you may want to listen to what the genius has to say.

(PS - The Kid is beating The Informer picking teams straight up on the season 8 wins to 1. As in there have been 8 weeks where AC picked more games correctly compared to only 1 week where The Informer did. So like I said, dude can pick a winner.)

Here are the picks. FYI -- Winners have been bolded while AC's against the spread picks have been placed in parenthesis with the line to cover. And as always if you would like an explanation check out AC's Youtube video below.


Raiders win & Cover

Ravens 38 @ 21 Bengals (Raven's -10.5)

Bills  24 @ 17 Browns (Bills +3)

Lions 31 @ 28 Bears (Lions +2.5)

Giants 24 @ 10 Jets (Giants (-2.5)

Chiefs 34 @ 24 Titans (Chiefs (-3.5)

Arizona Cards 27 @ 28 Tampa Bay (Cards +4.5)

Falcons 14 @ 38 Saints (Saints (-14)

Dolphins 17 @ 34 Colts (Colts -10)

Rams 35 @ 28 Steelers (Rams (-3.5)

Panthers 24 @ 34 Packers (Packers -5)

Vikings 35 @ Cowboys  41 (Boys -3)

Seattle HGHawks 31 @ 35 San Francisco 49ers (HGHawks +6.5)


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