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Tuesday, August 21, 2012

"This Is What The Informer Sent In"


Well the Informer sent this draft in...There is no going back...This was the best he could come up with in 750-words...I guess we will find out if its good enough...

Feel Free to read...If you have read the previous drafts you will notice some subtle changes but for the most part the overall feel is that the Informer talks himself up without mentioning fantasy football...

Its a play on stupid...Plus the Russian Mountains is a joke about having to run mountains in order to defeat the heavy favorite Russians...Just like rocky did....

Here we go...Good luck Informer..........

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Imagine the scene…

A balding overweight 28-year old who calls himself The Informer scrolling the Internet on his flip-phone when he see’s that he has the chance to win a contest and become a real “Grantland Writer…”

Best of all he doesn’t even need to provide a resume…

It’s the perfect scenario…

All the Informer has to do is write one “Dream Blog…”

The Informer has been waiting for this opportunity ever since he started his own blog years ago…

You could say if the Informer had been  wearing sweatpants (which he was) he would have had a “BISP” (After The Informer is hired he can explain BISP)

So he runs home like a fatter version of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” and starts explaining to his wife what is happening..

How he must spend the next five days writing a 750-word blog so he won’t have time to hang out with his four girls, or watch endless reruns of “Dance Moms” with her because this is the Informer’s one chance…

Naturally after the Informer’s blonde bombshell stopped laughing she channeled her inner “Adrian” and leveled some truths on the Informer…

“You Can’t Win Informer… Those other writers have college degrees …Those other writers know how to form a proper sentence… They don’t just place three dots at  the end of a thought and pretend it’s a sentence…For god sakes they will know how to spell…Face it Informer THEY WILL MURDER YOU”

(Informer Note- Sometimes the truth hurts but who ever said in order to be a writer you needed to not be a college dropout, or know how to use proper punctuation…Come on this is a job to be a fantasy football writer not “Rocket Scientist Writer Guy”)

Much like Rocky did, the Informer stormed out of the house, took the T-Tops off his “1999 Camaro” and started cruising down the Interstate listening to “No Easy Way Out” when he realized something…

The Informer can win this thing…

All it is going to take is some hard work and a trip to the Russian mountains…

And honestly some help from the Judges…

Seriously if you let the Informer win he will actually be the first person in the world to prove his wife wrong…Together we can make this happen…

Plus imagine the great press “Grantland” will get when they give a college dropout a chance to fulfill his life-long dream… If that’s not a Hollywood-ending the Informer doesn’t know what is…

I guess this is the Point where The Informer explains his resume…

He is a former “Honorable Mention Columnist of the Year in Nebraska”…Swear its True…

He only speaks in the third person…Its just the way The Informer does business…

As you may have noticed the Informer is not so good with the punctuation portion of the writing craft. He does however thoroughly enjoy the  “…” Thingy…

The Informer reads Peter King weekly…

The Informer is an avid WWE Fan…

“Informer what in the blue hell does that have to do with anything?” This is a fantasy football contest… Why are you talking about Wrestling?”

That’s a good point imaginary reader… Maybe we should get back to the Informer’s resume…

The Informer is a touch insane which leads to him talking to his imaginary readers…

(Informer Question- Being insane and talking to yourself is a good thing… Right? That couldn’t possibly be a negative? Or could it be… Nahh… It’s a good thing… The Informer is getting confused… Can we move on?)

Finally the Informer picked 52% correct against the spread on NFL games last year…(That’s gotta count for something right?)

There it is…

In 750-words the Informer just gave you the winner of this contest…

And he did it without once mentioning fantasy football…

Wait…

Ummmmm…

Brees, Rogers, McFadden, MegaTron, Newton

Sleeper- Randy Moss…  The Greatest

(Informer Note- The Informer forgot to mention he has a unhealthy man-crush on Moss.. And he promises that if placed in this league he will draft Moss in the first round and still win… Scouts Honor)

Informer shouldn’t you mention something about your fantasy football resume?

Ok, The Informer has one story…

The first year he played in a league was 1998 and he was the champion…

Even though in week three his starting QB went 1-15 with 4 yards passing…

Yes the Informer won a fantasy football league in which he started Ryan Leaf not once, not twice, but three times…

How did he win?

Because he is The Informer…


Monday, August 20, 2012

"Final Draft To A Dream Job...I Think"

Imagine the scene…

A balding overweight 28-year old who calls himself The Informer scrolling the Internet on his flip-phone when he see’s that he has the chance to win a contest and become a Grantland Fantasy Football Writer…

Best of all he doesn’t even need to provide a resume…

All the Informer has to do is write one “Dream Blog”…

The Informer has been waiting for this opportunity ever since he started his own blog three years ago…

You could say if the Informer had been  wearing sweatpants (which he obviously was) he would have had a “BISP” (After The Informer is hired he can explain BISP)

So the Informer runs home like a fatter version of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” and starts explaining to his wife what is happening…

How he must spend the next five days writing a 750-word blog so he won’t have time to hang out with his four girls, or watch endless reruns of “Dance Moms.”

Because this is the Informers one chance…

Naturally after she stopped laughing The Informer’s wife channeled her inner “Adrian” and leveled some truths on the Informer…

“You Can’t Win… Those other writers have college degrees … They will know how to form a proper sentence… They won’t just place three dots at the end of a thought and pretend it’s a sentence… For god sakes those other writers  are going to know how to spell… Face It Informer… THEY WILL MURDER YOU”

(Informer Note--Sometimes the truth hurts but who ever said to be a writer you needed to not be a college drop-out, or even know how to use proper punctuation? Come on this is a job to be a fantasy football writer not a columnist for the “New York Times”)

Much like Rocky, the Informer stormed out of the house, took the T-Tops off his “Camaro” and started cruising down the Interstate… When “No Easy Way Out” started blaring on the radio the Informer realized something…

He can win this thing…

All it is going to take is some hard work, a little trip to Russia to run mountains and a little luck…

And honestly some help from the Judges..

Seriously if you let him win the Informer will actually be the first man in the world to prove his wife wrong…We can make this happen….

Together we can turn a college drop-out who can’t spell into a real life “Grantland Writer…” Now that’s a story not even Hollywood could make up…

This is the Point where The Informer explains his resume…

He is a former “Honorable Mention Columnist of the Year In Nebraska”…Swear its True…

The Informer only speaks in the third person…Its just the way he does business…

As you may have noticed the Informer is not so good with the punctuation portion of the writing craft, he does however thoroughly enjoy the  “…” Thingy. . .

The Informer is an avid WWE Wrestling Fan…

“Informer what in the blue hell does that have to do with anything? This is a fantasy football contest… Why are you talking about wrastling?”

That’s a good point imaginary reader….Maybe we should get back to the reasons why Grantland should hire the Informer….

The Informer is a touch insane which leads to him talking to his imaginary readers….

(Informer Question - Being insane and talking to your fake readers is a good thing… Right? That couldn’t possibly be a negative? Or could it be… Nahh..It’s a good thing… The Informer is getting confused…Let‘s move on)

Finally the Informer picked 52% correct against the spread on NFL games last year…(That’s gotta count for something…)

There it is…

In 750 words the Informer just gave you the winner of this contest…

And he did it without once mentioning fantasy football…

Wait…

Ummmmm…

That’s Right…

Brees, Rogers, Run DMC, MegaTron, Newton

Sleeper - Alshon Jeffrey

(Informer Note - Tom Brady is not on there because he is coming off a season where the Patriots lost to the Giants in the Super Bowl… We know how that ends… Damn You Bernard Pollard)

Informer shouldn’t you mention something about your fantasy football history?

Ok, The Informer has one story…

The first year he played in a league was 1998 and he was named the champion…

Even though in week three his starting QB went 1-15 with 4-yards passing…

That’s right the Informer won a fantasy football league in which he started Ryan Leaf not once, not twice, but three times…

There’s your resume…









"Summer Slam 25"

“Hey Informer it’s the 25th Anniversary of SummerSlamm…Come on man put down the 54.95 and give us a running diary…”

You had the Informer at Hey…

For good measure the Informer has his sweat pants on in case he needs to catch a “BISP”…

Tonight the Informer will be watching with his littler Brother Matty and about 22 Natty Lights….

Unknown  if Baby Informer is going to make an appearance tonight…She was non-committal…

With all that said lets get it on……

00:48--EXCUSE ME!!!!EXCUSE ME!!!!EXCUSE ME!!!! The annoying bi*ch is on the screen which means the Informers new favorite wrestler Dolph Ziggler is coming to the ring…He is going to take part in a mano y mano battle with Chris Jerhico…Basically Ziggler is trying to become Jericho…Jericho is the new Shawn Michaels….Which means he never has a bad match…This could be fun…

04:00--Chris Jericho and Ziggler just took turns jumping over the top rope and landing face first on the outside canvas….Two things…That doesn’t look fun…And why is it called a canvas? Isn’t a canvas used for making art?…I guess you could call this match art..Both guys are flawless right now…Boom…And you didn’t know where the Informer was going with that….

00:06 - -The Informer is three red solo cups deep while baby brother Matty is still on one…In his defense he did get run over by a truck one month ago….

00:08 - -As always the timeline is not going to be exact…With that said they just traded backhand slaps to the chest…The Informer used to do it with his buddies…No matter how fake and scripted wrestling is back hand slaps to the chest f*cking hurt….

00:010- -LETS GO ZIGGLER…Y2J…LETS GO ZIGGLER…Y2J….The crowd seems confused who they want to root for….

00:11 - -The Insigurny…No idea how you spell it but it is where you ninja kick your opponent in the back of the head….

00:17 - -A huricanrana from the top ropes….HOLY SHIT…HOLY SHIT….Great match so far…

00:17--Victor Gurrerro’s necklace says ‘Cougar’…The Informer does not agree…(Yes the Informer just called her Victor…Probably meant Vivian…Its all the same….

00:19- -Jericho hit’s the Code breaker…But thanks to great ring pressence/or writing Ziggler was able to get out of the ring…..

00:20--Walls of Jericho…Middle o the ring…This is over….Jericho has won the Big One….Great Match to start the night…So far totally worth the 55 dollars….

(Informer Note - -Ziggler almost won this match with a small package craddle..And honestly the Informer misses when guys would win with the small package cradle…Lets hope Ziggler can bring this back)…

00:23- -So now they have slim jim commercials mid show? What the F*ck…My 55 Dollars is not enough? Can we get a Bull-Sh*t chant going?

Later on tonight for the first time ever a Perfect Storm is brewing….Brock Lesnar and Triple H…For those that don’t know Brach Lesnar broke Shawn Michaels arm last week…..We hate him now…Good news Shawn Michaels is able to still twitter with a broken arm…The Informer was worried…

00:24- -Most Dominate athlete in WWE History? Come on man Andre The Giant?

00:25 - -This is a fight to the Finish Paul Heyman says…The Informer enjoys Paul Heyman…And IF YOU AINT DOWN WITH THAT WE HAVE TWO WORDS FOR YOU…TAP OUT…The Informers sweats are getting a little tight….

00:26 - -YES YES YES YES YES YES YESYESYEYSEYSEYESYESYESYESYES….NONONONNONONONONONONONONON!!! Daniel Bryan is coming to the ring…He is a funny looking short man with a weird beard who just yelled no at a fan for a constant thirty seconds…Very Funny Stuff…

00:27 - -Good news the Spanish announce table is at ringside…The Informer will bet his 50 dollar Tom Brady Rookie card that the Spanish Announce table gets destroyed tonight…

00:28- Bryan is going up against Kane..Who the Informer’s wife thinks is scary…So he has that going for him…

Side note Bryan is basically the best wrestler in WWE at this time and Kane for being big and scary usually has a good match..>So this could be fun….

00:29- -They just had a promotion to Drive Sober Or Get Pulled Over…The Informer would probably choose the Latter…If your giving him the choice….

00:30- -Bryan does kinda have a Goat Face but at least he wasn’t burned in a fire and forced to wear a mask like Kane….Was Kane still burned in a Fire or did that storyline get changed when he took his mask off for the last four years….?

00:31- -Brother Matty would like to know why anyone would even get into the ring with that Guy?…Pretty sure he was talking about Kane…You know since Kane just tossed Bryan over the top rope like a ragged goat doll….

00:32- - Listen the fact that Bryan just randomly yells out NO NO NO mid match is funny…The Informer lOL’ed…

00:33- -Out of Orange juice so now onto straight Tall boys from here on out…The Informer is getting that feeling….

00:34- -Bryan I probably wouldn’t open hand slap Kane….That does not look like a smart idea….

00:35- -The Informer just said he likes Daniel Bryan…Brother Matty just said he is a goofball…The Informer concurs…Great Character…

00:36- Flying Headbut….Nope…He got caught by a huge meat hook…Big ChokeSlam…Bryan is in trouble…

00:37-- Holy shit…Bryan wins with a small package craddle…Are you f*cking kidding me…This must be the Informer’s lucky day….The Informer is now excited…Glad to see the WWE WRITERS are reading the Informer’s blog….Whats that? The Informer hasn’t even posted this blog yet…Lets Move On…

00:38- -Kane is Breaking sh*t backstage…This is not  the time to be the guy trying to interview Kane…If you had guessed Kane would throw that guy out of the Camera Picture give yourself a pat on the back…

00:39 - -Why the Fuck are there commercials…I don’t need to be f*cking told to Drive Sober Or Get Pulled Over…The Informer Drives Buzzed and doesn’t worry about the Fuzz…Hows that for a f*cking slogan….

00:42- -Rey Mysterio is wearing a Batman Costume…Is this new…The Informer is still excited…He is fighting for the intercontinental championship….If the Informer had to guess since this is in L.A. and a large Mexico following Mysterio is leaving the champ….

00:43- -Just found out that Mysterio will be fighting the Miz..Forget what the Informer just wrote…THE MIZ IS AWESOME…And he is going to win….

00:44- -The Miz needs a new haircut he kinda looks like a “Sandusky File” .. .Matty chimed in with Mysterio does some crazy stuff….That’s actually pretty true…

00:46- -Miz just through Mysterio through the bottom rope head first…Mysterio turned it into a slide flip…Some pretty crazy stuff actually….

00:50 - -Crowd is dead for this match…Kinda weird cause its been a pretty good bout…Crowd realizes nothing on the line..This is just a filler…The Informer is going to take a pee break…O the Intercontinental championship is on the line…Color me wrong…Still crowd making this a boring match….

00:51- -Six One 9...The crowd is now alive….

00:52- -Wow the MIZ just clean beat Rey Mysterio…That’s impressive…Was not expecting that….Then again what does the WWE gain by having Mysterio win…?

00:53- -A new WWE Ap for your smart phone…The Informer will be back in a second….

00:56- -AJ and CM PUNK…The Informer loves them together…MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN 2 Maybe?

01:00 - The Informer does not like Alberto Del Rio….The Informer is rooting for Shemus to kick his ass…That’s all the Informer has to say about that….

01:00 - -The Informer dose one day want to have his  own personal ring announcer….And yes the Informer fully expects him to speak in some weird language the Informer does not understand…

01:02- - Is Del Rio kinda fat…Matty just pointed out that Shemus is the Worlds Whitest Dudes….The Informer has no joke here…Shemus is a scary scary pasty white man….

01:04- -Its Mexico vs. Ireland…Booze vs. Cocaine…Wait..Sorry wrong MR. Pickford all together….(Ps The Informer will give someone six bucks if they get that movie refrence….)

01:05- -Is it racist if the Informer says watching this match is like rooting for your favorite Rice?…(Brown vs. White)…Maybe we should just move on…

1:09- - Matty just said its more like a Lepricon vs. Scarface….That’s racist…How the hell do you spell Lepricun?

01:10 - -Del Rio was just mocking Shemus..Then Shemus punched him hard…Once again the Informer must tell the Wrestlers…Its not smart to mock the other guy …It never ends well….

01:11 - -Shemus is F*cking Powerful…

01:13- -Shemus just did a move where he tied Del Rio Against the ropes and then repeatedly punched him in the chest..>The Informer cant be sure but that may qualify as a hate crime….

01:14- Shemus used a shoe then pinned Del Rio while Del Rio’s foot was on the ropes…But the call stands…Shemus just stole one….Good controversy at the end of this match…The Informer gives two thumbs up…Also the Informer is getting a little tipsy things are about to spiral out of control…But hey its only the 25th anniversary of SummerSlam Once….

 01:18- -In the Words of Thunder Tad if he were here… “Shemus is my favorite”…

01:19- -Just a good USA chant from the crowd..USA>>>USA>>>USA…

01:20- -Triple H just had to tell the Ref to let us fight….Why not just make the match no disqualification…Wouldn’t that be just as easy?

01:21- -Fast forwarding the tag championship…Sorry Prime Time Playas….

01:22- -Lots of jokes the Informer is making off screen right now….Lets just say the Informer is rooting for R Truth and Kingston…Will be taking the rest of this match off…Especially since a very big guy just barked at another very big guy…The Informer is taking a drink…#Dolphins…Verno will get that one…


01:27- - The Informer love s R Truth and Kofi Kingston…Match of the night tonight…The Informer is surprised….And Still New Champions…Brother Matty’s take.. “That Kofi Guy is Crazy…He just bounces around the ring”…Word Matty…Word….

01:28- -Why the hell have we not had a 25th Summer Slam Montage of all the great moments….Come on WWE your better then that….

01:32- -Did you know Punk has been the Champion for nine months…That’s longer then it took  my wife to give birth…..That’s a serious streak…On a side note the Informer enjoys Punk…

01:33- -The Informer thinks AJ is the greatest character in wrestling right now…If the Informer wasn’t married she would give him a BISP…The Informer doesn’t know why the Big Show is in this match…The Informer is rooting for Cena to Win….But really as long as the Big Show doesn’t win the Informer will be ok with the outcome…Also the Informer assumes since we are in Hollywood the Rock is going to show up…

01:34 --Just told Matty I feel like I drank so much last weekend that I was hit by a truck…..He just looked at me and nodded…#MoFo actually got hit by a truck….Lets do Wrestling….

01:35- -The Informer is waving his hand in front of his face….

01:36- -The Informer just hid under his chair…Three people will get that joke….Yes Big Show’s Well it’s the Big Show Just Popped….


01:46- -Punk Show and Cena…Big Show is doing Big Show things…

01:47- -Missed double suplex..reversed into a Big Show Double Suplex..Brother Matty was impressed…

01:50- -Count me out on the Take A Slap to the Chest From Big Show Contest…#Sounds Painful…

01:52- -Brother Matty just peed without flushing the toilet…Who the hell does he think he is..”THE ZESTY?”..#Zach’s Favorite Thiings to do is not flush the toilet….

01:54- -Informer went to the bathroom..Matty said you just missed a bunch, Cena knocked out the  Big Show..Then Punk cut Cena in half…Then Punk Totally Boned the Big Show….That’s just good analysis…

01:59- -Cena and Punk just put submission holds on at the same time..>Big Show Tapped..Whose the Winner..>Summer Slam just got interesting…And her comes the crazy bouncing chick…The Informer is intrigued…

02:00 - -Restarted the match..Thoguht big show was going to win…the Informer was getting upset…

02:04- -Cena hit’s the FU…Punk throws Cena out of the Ring and Pins the Big Show..>The Informer gave a solid high five to himself…Great Ending to the match….

02:05- -Ummm Cena had a Jeanus….You guys know what that is right? Its when your jean shorts make it look like you have a boner…That’s why the Informer is here people…

02:06- -Getting close to the one year mark…That’s a hell of a run by CM Punk…In the Words of a friend form Treynor someone give Punk some “Respect”….

02:07- - Limp Bisquit just flipped off the crowd…Booom….Who knew Fred Durst was still alive…?

02:08- -David Arquette did show up tonight…The Informer was wondering if the former WCW Champion would make an appearance…Nice work Bischoff….

02:09- -Non of those clown ass monkey’s from the movie “The Day” are even wrestlers..Why did they just show us that clip…?Side Note The Informer is not sober….

02:10--The Informer can guran damn tee that no one wants to here the official theme song live at Summerslam…thank you fast forward button….

02:11- Its time for the match of the night…Lesnar vs. H….The Informer will be back after the match…

(Side Note--Brach Lesnar’s arm breaking move looks pretty good…It actually looks like he is breaking arms…The Informer believes its true and not scripted…Get Well Soon Shawn…..)

Before the match starts the Informer needs to say he used to hate Triple H but now that he is only in about five matches a year that are all slug fest the Informer is thinking H is the man….Its been a complete one sixty..see you after the match…Also Lesnar still looks like a beast..The Informer is full on BISP Mode…

ITS TIME TO PLAY THE GAME>>>>>>>

THIS IS MY HOUSE NOT UFC….COME ON H….

Lesnars taking off the glove…O Gosh….

And down goes the Spanish announce table…

Brach Lesnar wins…Did Triple H just retire?…Weird ending…The Informer thoroughly enjoyed the final match…

As for the 25th anniversary of Summer Slam…..

It was worth every penny….

The Informer loves wrestling…See You In January for the Royal Rumble…

Saturday, August 18, 2012

"Dream Blog Draft One.."

Hey All The Informer has five days to write his best 750 word blog on why he should be the next fantasy sports writer at Grantland.com....

IF you all could please read my first draft and let me know what you think...either commenting on the facebook page or leaving a comment at the end...Seriously need all the input i can..If you like it tell me why...If its stupid and not interesting let me know...

Thanks guys
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 Imagine the scene…

A balding overweight 28-year old who calls himself The Informer scrolling the Internet on his flip-phone when he see that he has the chance to win a contest and become a Grantland Fantasy Football Writer…

Best of all he doesn’t even need to provide a resume…

It’s the perfect scenario..

All the Informer has to do is write one “Dream Blog” and then he is going to be famous…

The Informer has been waiting for this opportunity ever since he started his own blog three years ago…

You could say if the Informer had been  wearing sweatpants (which he obviously was) he would have had a “BISP” (After The Informer is hired he can explain BISP, just not enough room in 750 words)

So the Informer runs home like a fatter version of “Charlie and the Chocalate Factory” and starts explaining to his wife what is happening..

How he must spend the next 5 days writing a 750-word blog so he wont have time to hang out with his four girls or watch endless reruns of “Dance Moms” with her because this is the Informers once chance….

Naturally after the Informer’s blonde bombshell stopped laughing she channeled her inner “Adrian” and leveled some truths on the Informer…

“You Can’t Win….Those other writers have college degrees …Those other writers know how to form a proper sentence… They don’t just place three dots at  the end of a thoughts and pretend it’s a sentence…For god sakes those other writers are going to know how to spell…Face It Informer THEY WILL MURDER YOU”

(Informer Note--Sometimes the truth hurts but who ever said in order to be a writer you needed to not be a college drop-out or even know how to use punctuation and spell properly…Come on this is a job to be a fantasy football writer not “Rocket Scientist Writer Guy”)

Much like Rocky did the Informer stormed out of the house took the T-Tops off his “1999 Trans Am” and cruised down the Interstate listening to Whitesnake when he realized something…

The Informer can win this thing…

All it is going to take is some hard work and a little luck…

And honestly some help from the Judges..

Seriously if you let him win the Informer will actually be the first man in the world to prove their wife wrong…Together we can make this happen Grantland….

Plus imagine the great press “Grantland” will get when they give a former college dropout a chance to fulfill his life long dream…If that’s not a Hollywood ending the Informer doesn’t know what is…

This is the Point where The Informer explains his resume…

He is a former “Honorable Mention Columnist of the Year In Nebraska”…Swear its True…

The Informer only speaks in the third person…Its just the way the Informer does business…

As you may have noticed the Informer is not so good with the punctuation portion of the writing job…

He does however thoroughly enjoy the  “…” Dot Dot Dot Thingy…

The Informer is an avid WWE Wrestling Fan…

“Informer what in the blue hell does that have to do with anything?” This is a fantasy football contest..Why are you talking about Wrestling?”

That’s a good point fake Informer reader….Maybe we should get back to the reasons why Grantland should hire the Informer….

The Informer is a touch insane which leads to him talking to his imaginary readers….

(Informer Question - -Being insane and talking to your fake readers is a good thing…Right? That couldn’t possibly be a negative? Or could it be…Nahh..it’s a good thing…The Informer is getting confused…Can we move on..?)

Finally the Informer picked 52 percent correct against the spread on NFL games last year…(That’s gotta count for something right?)

There it is…

In 750 words the Informer just gave you the winner of this contest…

And he did it without once mentioning fantasy football…

Wait…

Ummmmm….

Still Thinking….

That’s Right…..

Top 5 -Brees, Rogers, Run DMC, Calvin’s Johnson, The Real McCoy….

Sleeper - Alshon Jeffrey

(Informer Note - Tom Brady is not on there because he is coming off a season where the Patriots lost to the Giants in the Super Bowl…We know how that ends….Not Well…Damn You Bernard Pollard)

Like the great philosopher “Adam Carolla always says..

“If you like something do it for free and if your good you will be noticed” (Not exact quote but you get the idea)

Consider the Informer holding a sign trying to get noticed…

“WILL WRITE FOR FREE”