Click on the Amazon Link

Friday, November 22, 2013

Tom Brady and Peyton Manning square off for the 14th time Sunday night.
 Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Week 12 of The Informer vs. The Question 2013 NFL Picks Challenge. There is no special gimmick this week; just some good clean football talk and a few incoherent Informer rants.

So without “Freddy Adu” here are our picks.

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS @ DETROIT LIONS (-9)

“The Question”

In a year that hasn’t been my finest when it comes to forecasting NFL games, my worst call may have been pegging the Detroit Lions as one of my favorite picks last week.

Truth be told, it was a game the Lions should have easily won; except from some reason after overcoming a dismal start, they fall apart late and lost to an inferior Pittsburgh Steelers team.

That game, like this season, did not make any sense. I mean what was the Lions offensive strategy in the second half? Punt the ball as much as possible?

Here is an idea; Calvin Johnson was on pace for 358 yards receiving and four touchdowns, maybe try and throw him the ball once or twice.

Well this week they are at home against the Tampa Bay “Staph Infections”, so I am once again taking the Lions. This team should be refocused and they need this victory to stay on pace to win the NFC North.

Pick: Lions -9

“The Informer”

Which player is better?

Player A First 100 Games: 541 receptions 8,740 yards and 63 TD

Player B First 100 Games: 548 receptions 8,680 yards and 92 TD

The Informer can keep going just in case there is some doubt. Here are the same two players’ playoff stats through their first six seasons.

Player A: One Game 12 rec 212 yards and 2 TD

Player B: Six Games 28 rec 602 yards and 7 TD

Here is a fun stat.

Player A: Five 1,000 yards seasons first six years.

Player B: Six 1,000 yard seasons first six years.

So Player B had more receptions, touchdowns, thousand yard seasons while playing in six playoff games compared to just one for Player A.

Don’t get The Informer wrong; Player A is pretty darn impressive, 8,740 yards is nothing to scoff at, but judging by the numbers one would have no choice but to conclude that Player B is the more dynamic receiver through 100 games.

We can all agree on that right?

Now for the fun part; Player A is Lions WR Calvin Johnson and Player B is future Hall of Famer Randy Moss.

The Informer showed these stats in the hope that everyone who is jumping on the 'Johnson is better than Moss' bandwagon will slow their roll just a little.

Again, The Informer is not saying Johnson will not one day pass Randy on the all-time list. All he is saying is at this point in time Moss is still the best WR not named Jerry Rice to ever play in the National Football League.

Just in case you are still on the fence here is another stat.

Player A: Completed 4-8 passes for 106 yards and 2 TD and he returned one punt for a score.

Player B: Has never even thrown a pass or returned a punt.

This time Player A is Moss and Player B is Johnson. The Informer rests his case.

One last fun stat: Both Johnson and Moss have 12 games with 150+ yards receiving through their first 100 contests. It should also be noted that "Megatron" is currently tied for the NFL record with five 200+ yard games.

Despite what you may think from the above rant, The Informer can’t wait to see if Johnson can sustain his greatness and join Moss on the Mt. Everest of wide receivers.


JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS @ HOUSTON TEXANS (-10)

“The Question”

You wouldn’t think that the benching of Case Keenum would be a huge deal in the fantasy world; however, his benching directly impacted not one, but two of my fantasy squads.

Yup, I picked up good ole Case this past week thinking the Houston Texans were committed to the next “Brett Favre” (The Informer’s words not mine).

Boy was I wrong again. I guess that is why they call me “The Question?” Because I am always asking questions and not giving answers?

You may need to say those last two sentences "Ron Burgundy Upper-inflection teleprompter” style to understand the joke.

Hey speaking of Anchorman, is anyone else concerned The Informer has sold out and is now a corporate drone-sponsor for new up and coming movies? I mean did he really just write an entire NFL article showcasing Anchorman a month before the sequel comes out?

Whatever happened to the days of prison assaults jokes and drinking too much grown up orange juice? I think we should just start calling him “The Corporate Informer.” 

As for this football game, the only thing you need to know is Matt Schaub is the starting QB again. I repeat, “pick-six” Schaub is the starting quarterback for Houston.

The Texans are in trouble.

Pick: Jaguars +10

“The Informer”

Mr. Question you think me writing an Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy article a month before Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues comes out was bad, wait and see what happens next year before the release of Dumb and Dumber To.

And trust me; you don’t even want to imagine what is going to happen when they finally announce Ghostbusters 3 is filming. The Informer may actually write a 60,000 word breakdown on the scene where Ray is laying in bed and the ghost does . . . How should The Informer say this? Well . . . The Ghost does inappropriate biblical things to him.

Anyways, which means stop trying to confuse me with Ghostbusters talk, The Informer does have a small bone to pick with the national media.

Last Sunday, during the Texans 28-23 loss to the Oakland Raiders, wide receiver Andre Johnson walked off the field with over a minute left to play after getting into a heated on-field argument with the afore mentioned “pick six” Schaub.

The Informer did see that happen right? Okay good, just making sure this rant didn’t turn into another “Illegal Contact” situation where The Informer doesn’t have any idea what he is talking about.

Now since we all agree that Johnson walked off the field, The Informer has a question: Why in the heck is Andre not getting hammered by the media?

Do you all remember in 2005 when a man named Moss left a Minnesota Vikings loss with two seconds remaining on the clock? To this day people still try and say that is a reason he is not great because he quote, “quit on his team.”

In fact here is an article talking about Moss being childish and selfish and a bunch of other garbage that is not true.

So where is the outrage for Johnson? The Informer looked as hard as he could all week to find people calling out Andre for being selfish, childish and quitting on his team. 

You know what The Informer found?

Nothing.

Was Johnson the "Goat of the Week" in the great Peter King's “Monday Morning Quarterback” column? Nope in fact Johnson's childish act didn't even get mentioned. How about the always reliable Don Banks? Surely he blasted Johnson's selfish acts in his awesome “Sunday Snap Judgments” article?

Again that would be a big fat no. The Informer did find one article on ESPN that defended Johnson, saying he was just frustrated.

Do you want to know who is frustrated? The freaking Informer is frustrated.

People are literally using the incident in Washington as a reason Moss should not be a first ballot Hall of Famer, but here is a guy doing the exact same thing and not a single media member blasts him?

For the love of “Tebow” what is going on?

The Informer is pretty sure back in 2004 Skip Bayless was hospitalized with an exploded head after the Moss incident. Newspaper columnist, internet bloggers, radio and television hosts were all outraged by the disrespect Moss showed to his team, himself and to America in general.

Fast forward nine years and Andre Johnson gets commended for being a great teammate who was just frustrated with the situation?

What a joke.

The national media should be ashamed of themselves.

Walking off the field early is either a childish/selfish act of disgrace, or a frustrated player showing passion. It can’t be both just because one of the guys had a media-related bad reputation.

At this point the only way The Informer will be satisfied with this non-story is if everyone who called Moss out in 2004, yet kept their mouths shut this past week, admits that they were wrong and apologize to the “Great One.”

They can start their apology with a month long tribute to Moss by showing all of his college and pro games on the NFL Network.

The Informer thinks an apology with a tribute is a fair request after the way Moss was treated. 

Sorry, The Informer blacked out for a second; what were we talking about?

 Pick: Jags +10

MINNESOTA VIKINGS @ GREEN BAY PACKERS (-5)

“The Question”

Wow. I am just going to leave the above rant alone and go right into dissecting the Green Bay Packers-Vikings battle of terrible quarterbacks.

Aren’t the Packers starting some Tolstoy guy (Scott Tolzein)? Wasn’t Tolstoy a famous writer? Either way it is pretty impressive, not only can he write but he found time to make the Packers roster.

All jokes aside; this line makes it seem like Aaron Rodgers would be starting, but I assure you that is not the case.

I will be taking the Vikings as I don’t ever trust poets turned quarterbacks in the NFL.  Also, I think the Packers are a mess without Rodgers.

Green Bay has too many injuries and I believe even the Vikings can accidentally make things work this week.

Pick: Vikings +5

“The Informer”

Where is the “that escalated quickly” quote when you need it.

In my defense, The Informer is getting pretty tired of the national media deciding when to make something a story and when to pretend it didn’t happen.

Take for example Trent Richardson who has now played six sub-par games for the Indianapolis Colts, where he has yet to average over four yards-per-carry for an entire game.

Now forget the fact that Richardson is a 23-year-old workhorse tailback trying to figure out a new system with a crappy offensive line; the only thing anyone should focus on is the less than 4.0-ypc.

That is the story the main stream media is spinning.

Most notably they are all saying the Colts were absolutely stupid for trading away a first round pick because Richardson obviously is not a first round caliber running back. You can see this by looking at his first six games with his new team. 

In the mainstream's words, "he is terrible."

Do you know who is a great running back? Adrian Peterson. Don’t worry about the fact that he has had five games this season where he has averaged less than 4.0-ypc; he is still great. 

Or how about Darrin McFadden (5x), Ray Rice (8x), Eddie Lacy (5x) Maurice Jones-Drew (8x) Le’Veon Bell (5x). Every single one of the guys mentioned above has had numerous sub-par rushing games this year, yet you don’t hear the national media saying they are not NFL caliber running backs.

Should Richardson be doing better?

Yes, of course.

But you can’t single him out for a stat and then pretend the stat is not the same for other running backs. I mean do you guys think Adrian Peterson is washed up because he is not on pace for 2,100 yards this year?

Of course not, everyone agrees the guy is suffering behind a poor offensive line.

Just like Rice, Bell, McFadden and Jones-Drew. They are all still good backs, but when you play on bad teams your stats are going to suffer.

Why is The Informer so angry?
Now obviously the Colts are not a bad team, but that is due en large to Andrew Luck, not their banged up offensive line.

“Informer why are you so angry this week?

And why are you talking about Trent Richardson during the Vikings-Packers breakdown?

You do realize the Colts are not involved in this game? Can you please try and stay focused and talk about the task at hand?”

The Informer apologizes. That will be the last rant of the day, “Scouts-honor.”

Pick: Vikings +5

SAN DIEGO CHARGERS @ KANSAS CITY CHIEF (-4.5)

“The Question”

This is a game the Kansas City Chiefs need to be extra careful. This is a classic hangover/look ahead game all rolled into one.

The Chiefs are coming off a close game at Denver on Sunday night with a rematch looming in Arrowhead next week that will decide the division.

The San Diego Chargers on the other hand love to keep things close, unfortunately they just can’t seem to seal the deal.

This Chargers team can be scary and with the Broncos game next week, I see San Diego giving the Chiefs a scare.

Pick: Chargers +4.5

“The Informer’

Hmm . . . Warm weather teams playing in the cold and snow usually don’t fair to well.

Especially when that warm weather team is playing on the road for the second straight week. Or when said warm weather team is playing against one of the best teams in the NFL, Kansas City, who happens to be coming off a loss. 

Did The Informer mention that this is a must win divisional game if the Chiefs are going to keep pace with the Peyton Manning’s?

Oh and don’t forget, there is a very good chance that it will be very cold and snowy in K.C. on Sunday.

Pick: Chiefs -4.5

CAROLINA PANTHERS @ MIAMI DOLPHINS (+4)

“The Question”

Don’t do it . . . Don’t do it . . . Don’t do it . . .

Don’t do it . . . Don’t do it . . . Don’t do it . . .

Don’t do it . . . Don’t do it . . . Don’t do it . . .

Don’t do it . . . Don’t do it . . . Don’t do it . . .

Pick: Panthers -4 . . . Dang it all, I did it.

“The Informer”

Don’t worry Mr. Question; The Informer will listen to your advice.

For those wondering why “The Question” is upset with himself it is because this is a classic letdown road game for the Carolina Panthers.

They are coming off an emotional Monday Night Football victory over Tom Brady and the New England Patriots.

They are also traveling to South Beach (a kind of well known party spot) to face a Miami Dolphins team that everyone is overlooking even though they are 3-2 at home and seven of their 10 games this season have been decided by four points or fewer.

The Informer thinks this game will be closer than anticipated and in the end people will be jumping back on the “RT1” bandwagon.

Miami is about to "Ice Up Son."

Pick: Dolphins +4

PITTSBURGH STEELERS @ CLEVELAND BROWNS (-2)

“The Question”

I think the Cleveland Browns might actually be the better team. They have two guys that can impact the game immensely in Josh Gordon and Joe Haden.

Have you been watching these two guys this year? No matter who the Browns are playing, both of them have put their stamps on every game they played this season.

This week will be no different.

Give me the Browns giving the points.

Pick: Browns -2

“The Informer”

The Informer picked the Pittsburgh Steelers to make the playoffs so he really needs them to win this week. And since The Informer is terrible at picking NFL games this season, there is only one way to help make his preseason prediction come true.

Pick: Browns -2

CHICAGO BEARS @ ST. LOUIS RAMS (-1)

“The Question”

Who are the St. Louis Rams? Do they even know? One week they are world beaters the next they are losing by 21 points out of the gate.

I think the Chicago Bears are a more athletic team and will not need to grind the ball offensively like St. Louis. Watch for their two big wide outs to make some game changing plays downfield this week.

Give me the Bears.

Pick: Bears +1

“The Informer”

Does anyone else wonder what David Hasselhoff thinks about this game?


The Informer agrees with Mr. Hasselhoff. This game is going to be brutal to watch. If you are a diehard Bears fan who is going to choose to watch this travesty, then help pass the time by Google searching “Kendall Jenner Instagram” photos.

You can thank The Informer later. For those that don’t know, Kendall Jenner is the sister to Kanye West’s baby’s mama and wife Kim Kardashian who may or may not put up provocative photos on her internet page.

Getting back to football before my wife threatens to stab me in the face with a soldering iron, The Informer is taking the Bears since he is a Lions fans and he needs Chicago to start losing.

Pick: Bears -1

NEW YORK JETS @ BALTIMORE RAVENS (-3.5)

“The Question”

Let’s see every other week the New York Jets win . . . Big Gulps huh?

Pick: Jets +3.5

“The Informer”

Every other week you say? So The Informer is supposed to take the Jets on the road against the defending Super Bowl Champions?

The Informer has a counter argument for everyone: Geno Smith on the road . . . Geno Smith on the road . . . Geno Smith on the road  . . .

Pick: Ravens +3.5

TENNESSEE TITANS @ OAKLAND RAIDERS (-1)

“The Question”

You know that “it” factor some teams have that makes things go in their favor? Well the Oakland Raiders were a magical story with the “it” factor for some of this year, but the wheels have finally fallen off.

The Tennessee Titans will stick to their “run the ball” identity and this will be a game the Titans will win on the road.

Pick: Titans +1

“The Informer”

Is it just me or is there a lot of really bad football scheduled for Week 12? Seriously, the Titans against the Raiders? Is there anyone who actually wants to watch this debacle of a football game?

Hopefully for the sake of my sanity this game will get blacked-out. The Informer doesn’t mean just in Tennessee, he wants this game blacked-out worldwide.

Can someone get David Blaine on the phone?

The Informer has a feeling Blaine could use his magic to make this happen. Hey Dave, stop doing card tricks for President George Bush and start blacking out NFL games no one should be forced to watch.

Now that would be magic.

P.S. – The Informer highly, and I mean highly, recommends everyone watch the ABC special called David  Blaine: Real or Magic where he does magic tricks on the elite Hollywood stars.

The Informer is not lying when he says he spent the entire hour and a half glued to his chairs shaking his head, laughing hysterically in amazement and mumbling, “How is that possible?”

Either these guys are the best actors in the world (get it?) or Blaine is the greatest magician since Merlin.

If you are one of the unlucky few who is going to be forced to watch the Titans-Raiders game on Sunday, do yourself a favor and turn on David Blaine’s magic show instead.

You will not regret the choice.

Pick: Titans +1

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS @ ARIZONA CARDINALS (-2.5)

“The Question”

Oh my how quickly the NFL sours on a team.

Take for example the now struggling Colts. Where is all the Luck for MVP chatter now? That talk has really started to subside in the past few weeks. How about all the Colts are going to make the Super Bowl talk?

Heck, it has been at least a day since I read an article from The Informer about how great Mr. Luck’s “Kool-Aid” tastes, or how many rookie cards he owns of the Colts young quarterback.

I am going to take the Arizona Cardinals this week because they are a dangerous squad at home and the Colts slide is going to continue.

Pick: Cardinals -2.5

“The Informer”

So, the Cardinals are favored over a team that has beaten Denver, Seattle and San Francisco this season?

And you guys want to know why The Informer’s picks have sucked this year. Honestly there is no logical explanation for what has been happening through 11 weeks of the NFL.

Since The Informer has no idea what Colts team, or for that matter what Cardinals team is going to show up this week, he is sticking with his philosophy of always picking Andrew Luck.

Now if you will excuse me, "The Question" just reminded The Informer that he has some Kool-Aid to make.

Pick: Colts +2.5

DALLAS COWBOYS @ NEW YORK GIANTS(-2.5)

“The Question”

HOW DOES THIS GAME MATTER!!!?

The New York Giants started out the year 0-6 and yet this game is still important for their pursuit of the NFC East division title?

I guess the consensus is the Giants are coming around, but I do have one question about this team. Have they played any good teams on their current win streak?

Now don’t get me wrong Dallas fans, your Cowboys are not a good team by any means. With that said, they do at least play to their competition so this should be a dismal and mistake filled game.

 I am betting Eli Manning will out mistake Tony Romo in the “You Ugly" game of the week.

Pick: Cowboys +2.5

“The Informer”

These are the two teams The Informer predicted to win the NFC East at the beginning of the season.

Yes, The Informer picked two different teams. He said either the Cowboys would win and lose in the first round of the playoffs or the Giants would somehow back into the playoffs and then win the Super Bowl.

Right now The Informer is feeling pretty confident in both of those predictions. As for this week, The Informer is going to take the Giants because their offense is going to look very good against the banged-up Dallas defense.

Pick: Giants -2.5

DENVER BRONCOS @ NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (+2.5)

“The Question”

Manning in prime-time.

Pick: Broncos -2.5 (I am excited.)

“The Informer”

How excited is The Informer for this Denver Broncos vs. New England Patriots AFC showdown you ask?

He is more excited than Brittney Spears on the Jay Leno Show.



Heck he is more excited than Carlton Banks when he gets to do his “Happy” dance.




The Informer is more excited than a kid finding out that it is his birthday.



Okay just one more: The Informer is more excited to watch Manning-Brady XIV than a person on the Maury Povich Show who just found out that HE IS NOT THE FATHER!!!



The Informer wants to point out that all the above photos and such are called GIF’s. He would also like to point out that he has no idea what in the hell “GIF” stands for. “Get images forever”? “Gee I’m Funny”? “Great Internet Fotos?" 

The Informer has no idea. Honestly when it comes to these new internet trends sometimes The Informer feels like Forrest Gump.



That photo is hilarious.

Any who, if you or someone you know has the ability to give The Informer the proper answer to what a “GIF” is please tweet @therealinformer.

Thank you and much appreciated.

Oh yea . . . The Informer almost forgot, Peyton Manning in prime-time equals The Lion King Lock of the Week.

Pick: LKLOTW Donkeys -2.5

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS @ WASHINGTON REDSKINS (+5.5)

“The Question”

The San Francisco 49ers are really good coming off of one loss. That means they should be really, really good coming off their first two-game regular season losing streak since Jim Harbaugh took over as head coach. 

Plus, this is a must win game for the Niners to keep their playoff hopes alive.

Pick: Niners -5.5

“The Informer”

Remember last year when everyone was saying things like RG3 is the greatest thing since the invention of fireworks? Along those same lines do you all remember when people started saying Colin Kaepernick was the next Randall Cunningham?

How quickly the times have changed.

Now people are talking about how inconsistent and unable to make the right decision RG3 has been. And regressing into a mediocre quarterback Kaepernick. Honestly, The Informer hates the part of being a sports writer (I am using that term very loosely) where we have to build someone up just to tear them down.

The reality of the situation is RG3 is still a young QB who is learning how to be great, after having one of his knees surgically repaired, while playing on a crappy team. Is he worse than last year? No, he is pretty much the same player; the only problem is this season the ball has not been bouncing his way.

And people in San Francisco who are saying the 49ers made a mistake letting Alex Smith go, please keep in mind that Kaepernick is less than a year removed from taking your team to the Super Bowl.

So, maybe we all just need to take a step back and let these young guys develop. Believe it or not, playing quarterback in the NFL is not an easy job.

Also The Informer would like to point out that Andrew Luck should have won the 2012 NFL Rookie of the Year award.

Now that we have covered the struggling quarterback situation, we can discuss the Monday Night Football game.

The 49ers are in desperate need of a win, while the Redskins are in desperate need of a loss so they can get a better draft pick.

The Informer hates taking the road favorite on Monday nights, but like “The Question” said there is no way the 49ers are losing three straight football games.

Pick: 49ers -5.5

Enjoy your NFL Sunday everyone; the one day of the week where all is right in the world.
 

Thursday, November 21, 2013

The Not So Informed Rant About Illegal Contact





Did you all see the NFL is standing behind the decision the refs made at the end of the Carolina Panthers 24-20 Monday Night Football victory over the New England Patriots?

They are saying that the refs made a judgment call about the ball not being catchable and even though there was obvious grabbing and tackling of Rob Gronkowski there was no pass interference penalty.

What?

Didn’t we do away with the uncatchable rule when the NFL instituted the “Illegal contact after five yards” penalty? Remember that rule where if a defender on the opposite side of the field accidentally pushes the wide receiver he will get called for a five yard penalty even if the ball in not thrown to said receiver?

The Informer swears he is not making this up, that is the actual rule.

On Sunday night (To be honest it could have been Sunday afternoon; The Informer was a touch under the weather if get my drift) there was a third down play with a pass to the right side of the field falling incomplete.

The team was going to punt right? Nope, the ref on the far side of the field threw a flag because the corner back had illegally touched the receiver on the left side of the field after five yards.

The penalty resulted in a free five yards and automatic first down.

No it did not matter that the ball wasn’t catchable (It was thrown on the opposite side of the field so The Informer is assuming the ball was not catchable) the rule is no illegal contact down field after five yards.

So let me ask one question: How can a ref throw a flag because he sees a guy get tackled and then pick up said flag because the ball was uncatchable?

Illegal contact is illegal contact. It is pretty cut and dry.

So if you throw the flag, you can’t then pick it up because the ball was uncatchable.

All The Informer is saying is that once the ref threw the flag he was acknowledging that illegal contact had occurred, in this case by Grownkowski being tackled in the end-zone. This means that even if they don’t call pass interference, they have to make the illegal contact call.

Therefore it should have been a five yard penalty and New England should have gotten one more un-timed down.

Had the official not thrown the flag and let the play go on, The Informer would have no issue with not making the illegal contact call since they were just letting the play decide the game. Unfortunately, that is not what happened. The ref threw a flag, which means he needs to make the proper call.

And yes, the pass interference rule states that if the ball is uncatchable than no pass interference can be called. The NFL are right about that. The problem is they can no longer use the uncatchable rule in 2013, because the illegal contact rule is now the catch-all.

This means that even if pass interference can’t be called; if you see a guy being tackled after five yards downfield, again regardless of whether the ball is thrown his way or not, illegal contact has to be called.

You know how The Informer knows this is the rule? Because he freaking watches the refs make this same exact ruling 400 times every Sunday. So why wasn’t it called on Monday night?

“Informer no one cares that Tom Brady and the Patriots didn’t get a call. They have been getting every call for the past decade, think “Tuck-rule”, so they finally got screwed over. Who cares? It is about time a ref actually had the nerve not to be berated by Brady into making a call.

Face it Brady drools and Cam Newton rules.”

Saturday, November 2, 2013

The Informer vs The Question 2013 NFL Picks Challenge: Week 9


At least the Kansas City Chiefs are excited to be The Informer's Lion King Lock of the Week.

On Thursday night after the Miami Dolphins gave their fans the best treat of the evening, winning 22-20 on an overtime safety, The Informer received a concerned message from one of his readers.

It read: “I am really worried about The Informer, his picks just keep getting worse; especially after the way the Cincinnati Bengals tricked him into thinking they would cover before losing in OT. I really hope he does not harm himself.”

Now if The Informer were being honest, there was a moment where he thought about using “Flagellation” to punish himself for his terrible picks (Remember in Tom Hank’s movie the Da Vinci Code the extreme priest guy who whips himself as a form of daily penance? Well that is what “Flagellation" is). 

Ultimately The Informer decided extreme torture on himself would not change the fact that his picks suck. That is when The Informer decided the only way to stop the hurt was to quit writing his weekly picks article.

He was serious to; it was time for The Informer to throw his towel into the fire, pick up his ball and go home.

Basically the Bengals non-cover was the straw that broke the Zebras back.

I mean seriously: When was the last time a NFL game ended on a safety in overtime? There is no way in the bluest of blue hells that has ever happened before. Yet there The Informer was once again staring at a lost pick because the “Red-Headed” gunslinger Andy Dalton couldn’t avoid being tackled in the end zone.

(The Informer note – This was actually the third time in NFL history a game has ended in overtime on a safety. In 1989 the Minnesota Vikings beat the Los Angeles Rams 23-21 and in 2004 the Chicago Bears beat the Tennessee Titans 19-17.)

The Informer didn’t want to make any rash decisions, but he knew at this point his abilities to pick games was no longer there. In fact, The Informer knew if he continued writing these crappy picks articles he would actually be doing a disservice to his readers.

Thankfully after The Informer mentioned on the Facebook he was thinking about quitting because his picks articles were losing credibility, the same reader who was concerned with my well being chimed in with some very good words of advice.

He said, “Informer to lose credibility that would imply that you actually had it to begin with. And since we both know you didn’t have any credibility why don’t you stop acting like a "*****" (Think five letter cuss word for the female private parts), do your damn job and keep making us laugh at your terrible picks.

Well . . . To steal a phrase from  Jalen Rose, “The Informer is going to give the people what they want.”

With that in mind The Informer broke out his “Flagellation” whip, did his penance and now he is ready to get back on the camel that bucked him and start dominating “The Informer vs. The Question 2013 NFL Picks Challenge.”

One last note; judging by what happened on Thursday night, everyone should be preparing themselves for a weird after Halloween weekend in the NFL. 

ATLANTA FALCONS @ CAROLINA PANTHERS (-7.5)

“The Question”

The Carolina Panthers are a better football team right now than the Atlanta Falcons, but the question has to be asked: Should a Ron Rivera coached team be a 7.5 point favorite under any circumstances?

Seriously name me one reason anyone should trust a Rivera team to put away the Falcons that easily?

Also you have to factor in that the Panthers are an enigma this season; they play really good some weeks destroying their opponents by 30, then the next week they lose a game they should have won.

It is maddening.

Take the Falcons and the points as you should not trust the Panther’s.

Pick: Falcons +7.5

“The Informer”

Cam Newton, no Julio Jones, an injured Roddy White, the Panthers are one of the hottest teams in the NFL, the Falcons just got dominated on the road against the Arizona Cardinals.

There . . . The Informer gave you five good reasons someone should take the Panthers. With that said, The Informer is grabbing the points. This is a must win game for the Falcons: If not now then when? 

Pick: Falcons +7.5

MINNESOTA VIKINGS @ DALLAS COWBOYS (-10)

“The Question”

The Minnesota Vikings have had a difficult time finding their way in the NFL this season.

Truthfully I wouldn’t be surprised if AP is in some sort of emotional therapy so he is able to keep that weekly smile on his face due to the fact that he has to play each and every game with quarterbacks that intellectually couldn’t play for a high school team.

The Dallas Cowboys on the other hand have been overrun this week with Dez Bryant wanting to win and not choosing the proper venue on how to express those feelings.

Give me the Vikings as the Cowboys have to many distractions and continue to play to their competition’s level week in and week out.

Pick: Vikings +10

“The Informer”

Dez Bryant yells at teammates during a game and he is detrimental, a disgrace and a cancer to the team.

Tom Brady screams and cries like a baby whose candy was stolen on Halloween night  and he is a fiery leader who is trying to make his teammates better.

Randy Moss allegedly runs over a parking meter maid with “Hippie Lettuce” in his ash tray and he is a bad human being.

Peyton Manning helps fund a children’s hospital in Indianapolis and he is called a humanitarian.

Do you guys see the double standard in all of this? 

Listen at the end of the day Dez shouldn’t have been throwing a fit, but this is football and people tend to get emotional when your team gives up 329 yards receiving to your biggest rival and you lose the game.

What Bryant needs to do this week is show up on Sunday and back up his tantrum with results. Yes The Informer fully expects he will do this.

However even with a determined, not detrimental, Dez; The Informer thinks this is to many points. At some point this season Adrian Peterson will win a game by himself.

Take Peterson in his home state and watch for a Vikings upset. 

Pick: Vikes +10

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS @ NEW YORK JETS (+6)

“The Question”

The New Orleans Saints may very well be the best team in the National Football League.

Seriously how valuable is a head coach? I bet if you asked the city of New Orleans they would say he is the second most valuable guy on this team.

This week I think Sean Payton will scheme a way to protect Drew Brees that will allow the Saints passer to continue making plays down the field, but I am taking the Jets as a home under dog coming off an embarrassing loss.

I think the Jets bounce back and at least make this one interesting for a stretch.

Pick: Jets +6

“The Informer”

Did you know last week Brees threw five touchdown passes for the eighth time in his NFL Career? Did you know that is an NFL record? Did you know Brees is on pace to throw for over 5,000 yards for the fourth straight season? Did you know no other quarterback in NFL history has ever thrown for over 5,000 yards more than once in a season? Did you know Peyton Manning has never accomplished this feat?

The Informer has just one last question: When are we going to start putting Brees into the same category as Manning and Brady? Is he already there? How has he never won an MVP? Why does Brees place in NFL history bother The Informer so much?

Sorry that was more like four questions.

Moral of the story is Drew Brees is really good at football and The Informer is going to pick him each and every week he is playing against a rookie quarterback.

Informer bonus prop bet – Take the over 250 times they show a Rex Ryan-Rob Ryan side by side split-screen shot.

Pick: Saints -6

TENNESSEE TITANS @ ST. LOUIS RAMS (+3)

“The Question”

This is going to be a real slug-fest.

Each of these teams has a good defensive line that will cause trouble for the other squad.

The St. Louis Rams will once again be playing without Sam Bradford at the helm while the Tennessee Titans are a smash mouth run first football team coming off a bye week.

I think this should be an interesting game, but I don’t trust the Titans on the road giving points.

Pick: Rams +3

“The Informer”

This season whenever a home underdog is getting three points or less from Vegas, said home dog is 11-4 against the spread.

Well this week Vegas is giving the home Rams three points; therefore The Informer is going to follow the trends and root for an upset.

Also keep in mind this is the first time Rams coach Jeff Fischer will be going against the team he coached for 16 seasons. If you don’t think he will have his team primed for an upset than you don’t know the NFL.

Remember how good the Kansas City Chiefs looked against the Philadelphia Eagles in Andy Reid's return to Philly earlier this season? The Informer is expecting that kind of performance from the Rams this week.

Pick: Rams

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS @ BUFFALO BILLS (+3)

“The Question”

In the words of late Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis, “The Chiefs JUST WIN BABY!!!”

It may not be pretty or flashy but they get the job done. Well only giving three points this week I don’t see why you shouldn’t be on their side.

The Buffalo Bills seem to figure out how to give games away while the Chiefs have figured out ways to –JUST WIN.

Pick: Chiefs -3

“The Informer”

The Chiefs are 6-2 ATS this season; however they are 0-2 the last two weeks. The Chiefs are also 2-0 this year when playing on the road as a three point favorite, so the above stat about teams being home dogs by less than three points having a 11-4 record can be thrown out the window.

At the end of the day this game comes down to whether or not “The Canon” Thad Lewis, who is listed as doubtful, plays this week.

Just remember on Sunday when you tell your fake illegal bookie or offshore Caribbean website you want to take the Bills that you are putting your faith in Matt “I can’t hold a NFL job” Flynn or some guy named Jeff as your starting QB.

To be honest The Informer would rather spend Halloween week watching Paranormal Activity (The Informer does not do scary ghost movies) than back Matt Flynn or Jeff Teul against the best defense in the NFL.

The Informer likes the Chiefs so much in Buffalo he is actually making them his Lion King Lock of the Week.

Pick: Chiefs -3

PS- No The Informer is not trying to do some weird reverse jinx by making the Chiefs his LKLOTW. Yes on the year the LKLOTW is 1-7, but The Informer honestly thinks the Chiefs, being the best team in football, can be the team to break the curse.

So saying The Informer is trying to make the Chiefs lose so he can stop eating crow, would be absolutely absurd. What is next your going to tell me there is a video of a grown man jumping up and down in a lion suit yelling Simba on the Youtube?

Grow up Peter Pan. The Informer one hundred percent is not trying to jink the Chiefs.





SAN DIEGO CHARGERS @ WASHINGTON REDSKINS (+1)

“The Informer”

This game is so bad “The Question” didn’t even bother to hand in his thoughts. Never fear The Informer knows exactly what he would have said.

RG3 is starting to look like RG3 again and even though they were embarrassed by Manning and the Denver Broncos last week, I think they will rebound for the home victory. Take Washington as the San Diego Chargers are traveling two time zones and will be sluggish in this game.”

Now The Informer’s first reaction to “The Fake-Question’s” thoughts is damn . . . The guy stole my flying two time-zones idea.

My second reaction would be he is one hundred percent correct in assuming the Redskins will win this game.

Pick: Home dog Washington +1

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES @ OAKLAND RAIDERS (-2.5)

“The Question”

Terrelle Pryor is coming around as a viable NFL quarterback. He fits the mold of QB’s in this  “New Era” that are mobile and capable of making every throw.

The Philadelphia Eagles have struggled offensively and just can’t seem to be find any rhythm without Michael Vick at under center.

Give me the Raiders this week as Pryor will lead Oakland to five hundred for the first time this season.

Pick: Raiders -2.5

“The Informer”

Two questions: Who is playing quarterback for the Eagles? How are the Raiders favored against anyone?

Honestly The Informer is more scared of the first question because the answer could be Matt Barkley. And even though The Informer feels there are only a handful of NFL teams the Raiders should ever be favored against, believe it or not the Eagles are one of them.

Pick: Raiders -2.5

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS @ SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (-16)

"The Question”

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are a bad team that has quit on their coach.

Also, the Seattle Seahawks are coming off a game they should have lost (against the Rams) which will refocus them to take care of business at home.

The Seahawks are too good at home to let Tampa Bay keep this game close.

Pick: Seahawks -16

“The Informer”

Man there are some bad football games this week.

It is starting to look like The Informer maybe putting multiple episodes of Dora the Explorer on for his daughter this week instead of watching every NFL game.

Trust The Informer when he says you really have not lived until you have one T.V. blaring the “Map Song” and a second T.V. singing “We did it.”

It really is more fun than a two year old little girl should be allowed to have.

The Informer note - For those new to The Informer, each week he watches Sunday football in his man cave with his daughter. Normally “Baby Informer” will take a nap during the early games so The Informer’s television rotation is not compromised, but during the late games one of the T.V.’s is always turned to Dora.

To answer your next question; yes the volume for football gets turned down and the volume for Dora gets turned up. It is the sacrifices a good parent makes in order to watch ten hours of football each and every Sunday.

Anyways, which means please don’t interrupt The Informer while he is signing the “Map Song”, judging by this week’s slate of game The Informer will not have to worry about filling his daughter full of juice and crackers to keep her happy, because she is going to be able to watch all the Dora she wants.

Don’t be surprised if The Informer’s Monday morning reaction article contains coverage on how to pass the troll bridge, some Spanish mixed in with English and sayings such as:

“Say Map . . . Say Map!!!”

“We did it . . . We did it!!!”

“Hola Boots.”

Or a well placed joke like:

Knock Knock . . .

Who is there?

Cow . . .

Cow who?

No a cow doesn’t say who –cows say MOOO!!!

What game were we talking about again?

You know what, it doesn’t matter. Take the home team, give the points and if you’re a parent watch educational cartoons with your children instead of whatever game we were just discussing.

Pick: Seattle -16

BALTIMORE RAVENS @ CLEVELAND BROWNS (+2.5)

“The Question”

This game is always interesting regardless of the records of the two teams.

That is why for me this is a coin flip game.

One one side you have the Baltimore Ravens who have no one to throw the ball to outside of Torrey Smith. On the other side you have Joe Haden who is a lock down corner for the Cleveland Browns.

So who is Joe Flacco going to throw to if his only weapon is being locked down by Haden?

To me this game all hinges on the QB of the Browns and we all know how well that has worked out for Cleveland this season.

Even though the Browns are surprisingly close to .500, I think people are starting to over value them and whoever they have playing QB, so I am taking the Ravens this week.

Pick: Ravens -2.5

“The Informer”

Did you know Flacco has never lost against the Browns? Well as the old saying goes, “eventually all good things must come to an end.”

The Browns have played the Ravens close for seven straight losses, now is the time to get over the hump. Watch for Josh Gordon to make some plays down the field and for the Browns to pull of the unexpected victory over the favored Ravens.

Pick: Browns +2.5

PITTSBURGH STEELERS @ NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (-6.5)

“The Question”

I heard a talking head/ so called expert say a team that they would watch to turn the season around is the Pittsburgh Steelers.

I couldn’t disagree more. The Steelers offensive line is in shambles, their WR are young and just starting to get it, the running game is still mediocre even with Le'Veon Bell and their defense is still not getting any younger.

One thing is for sure; I definitely don’t see them turning it around to make the playoffs this season.

I understand this is a lot of points for a New England Patriots team that should have lost to the Dolphins last week, but to me it seems like the 6-2 Pats are starting to get healthy at the right time.

Look for Tom Brady and company to put up some points this week.

Pick: Patriots -6.5

“The Informer”

What a game this would have been in 2011. No wonder CBS is making it their game of the week.

Here is what we know coming into this week; Tom Brady is having an MVP year while averaging 228 yards passing a game, “Big Ben Roethlisveganberger” spends every game running for his life because his offensive line is putrid and last but now least we have two defenses that have been so decimated by injuries neither one of them could stop the “Little Giants” from running the “Annexation of Puerto Rico” down their throats. 

The Informer has only two words to describe how he feels about watching this game on Sunday: “Can’t wait!!!”

Pick: Steelers +6.5

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS @ HOUSTON TEXANS (+2.5)

“The Question”

It really is too bad Reggie Wayne went down with a season ending injury. I have never met the man, but from all accounts he is an upstanding gentleman who had an extremely dedicated work ethic and who was an outstanding team player.

I wish you a full and speedy recovery Mr. Wayne.

Now without Reggie in the lineup the Indianapolis Colts loses its possession receiver and security blanket for Andrew Luck. For me that does not bode well for them in this game.

On the other side the Houston Texans need to turn it around immediately. I am thinking they will do it this week, at home, behind Case Keenum.

Pick: Texans +2.5

“The Informer”

The home underdogs are 11-4 when giving three points or less . . . The home underdogs are 11-4 when giving three points or less . . . The home underdogs are 11-4 when giving three points or less . . . The home underdogs are 11-4 when giving three points or less . . . The home underdogs are 11-4 when giving three points or less . . . The home underdogs are 11-4 when giving three points or less.

The Informer apologizes, he was hoping if he kept reminding himself not to pick against the home dog he would not be dumb enough to actually do it.

Pick: Colts -2.5

CHICAGO BEARS @ GREEN BAY PACKERS (-10.5)

“The Question”

The Chicago Bears defense has had its struggles so far this season and I think the Green Bay Packers will be able to exploit this as long as they take care of the football.

The main reason the Packers will exploit the Bears is because they have more balance on offense this season; especially since Eddie Lacy has taken pressure off of Aaron Rodgers thus allowing the Packers great to have more time in the pocket.

In the end the Pack’s offense will be too much for the Bears and as long as Green Bay’s specials teams mines its P’s and Q’s they should roll easily.

Pick: Packers -10.5

“The Informer”

The Chicago Bears are starting Josh “I am not Cade’s brother” McCown at quarterback. The Chicago Bears have lost six straight games to the Packers. The Chicago Bears have not won at Lambeau Field since the year 2000

What does all of this mean?

It means this is Halloween weekend and weird stuff is going to happen, including the Chicago Bears keeping this game close.

Pick: Bears +10.5

Now normally this is the point in the article where The Informer wraps things up by trying to get “The Question” to click on a link that will inadvertently lead to him having to listen to Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give you up.”

In the world of the inter-web this is what is known as being “Rick-Rolled.”

The Informer would usually then finish with some obscure music video that he finds funny; like “Gangnam Style” and then we would call it a day.

Sadly, after receiving numerous complaints that the “Rick Roll” and “Gangnam Style” jokes are old and outdated, The Informer has decided to scrap this gimmick.

Like Jalen Rose said before, “Give the people what they want.”

And if the people no longer want to enjoy Astley’s  music or Psy’s dancing, The Informer is not going to keep forcing it down their throats.

So for now on if The Informer says here is a link of Miley Cyrus swinging around on a wrecking ball with no clothes on, then by “Tebow” when you click on the link it will be Miley Cyrus swinging on a wrecking ball with no clothes on.

Oh by the way, here is a link of Miley Cyrus swinging on a wrecking ball with no clothes on (for mature audiences only).

Then again . . .

Wait for it . . .

Wait for it . . .

Never gonna give you up . . . Never gonna let you down . . .Never gonna run around and hurt you.

The Informer doesn’t care who you are, getting “Rick Rolled” is hilarious.

Hope every had a Happy Halloween. Enjoy your NFL Sunday and this video of a haunted house explaining "What the fox says."




\