Friday, June 2, 2017

The Informer's Summer of 2016 Kevin Durant Mailbag

As always keep in mind that all of these questions came from actual made up readers.
Q: Informer what did you think of Kevin Durant signing with the Golden State Warriors?
I absolutely love it. And I also think the Durant-Steph-Klay-Draymond combo has a chance to go down as the greatest fantastic foursome in the history of the NBA.
Q: Come on Informer, you can’t honestly feel that way? Kevin Durant signing with Golden State is an absolute travesty. I mean what kind of chicken sh** pu*** signs with the team that he can’t beat? It was a disgusting act and you know it. Hell, even Charles Barkley said KD was cheating to win a ring. 
Calm down Joe Buck. There is no need for profanities. Besides, I don’t think Durant was signing with Golden State because he didn’t think OKC could beat them. I think Durant signed with GS because he really wanted to play in an offense that emphasized ball movement and making the extra pass.
As for Charles Barkley (my favorite analyst not named Bill Walton of all-time): Isn't he the same guy who left the Philadelphia 76ers because he wanted a better chance to win a ring? Furthermore, isn't he the same guy who left the Phoenix Suns so he could join Clyde Drexler, Hakeem Olajuwon and the two-time defending NBA Champion Houston Rockets to chase a ring?
I'm just saying, players leave teams for other teams all the time. There is no cheating about it. 
Q: That is such bullsh** and you f***** know it. The only reason you think this is a good move is because you root for players, not teams. So you will just switch over and become a Golden State fan while us good honest OKC fans have to deal with the fact that KD just stabbed us in the back right in front of our f***** faces.
You are right. The Informer is a person who roots for players, not teams. The reason for that is because years ago I found out the owners/GMs don’t care if I want my favorite team to keep Joe Montana, or Peyton Manning, or James Harden, or Jerry Rice, or Randy Moss, or the city of Seattle. They only care how those players/cities can help them and when they are done getting what they want they throw them away faster than Antonio Cromartie throws away an unopened box of condoms.
So yes, since Kevin Durant remains my favorite player, next year I will be rooting for KD and the Warriors to win the championship and I will feel no remorse about it.
Q: But why did it have to be Golden State? If he would have signed anywhere else it would have been okay, but he chose the only team he could not beat. That has to tarnish his legacy, right?
Here is my counter question: Why would Durant choose to leave and then pick a place that would not be as good as OKC? I mean seriously, would anyone else in the world purposely leave a great situation just so they could move to a sh*ttier situation? That would be asinine. The fact is we all knew if the NBA was going to be turned on its head, there were only two places KD was going to go -- Golden State or San Antonio.
 So why are we so surprised when he chose one of those two places?
Q: You are wrong Informer. By picking the Warriors, Kevin Durant can now officially never be mentioned when it comes to the pantheon of great players ever again.
As the old saying goes, winning cures everything (just ask LeBron). And in five years if he wins with the Warriors, I guarantee that is what he will be remembered for.
Q: No, I am pretty sure we will remember Kevin Durant as a chicken sh** pu**** who had to team up with Steph and Klay because he couldn’t do it on his own.
Here is the thing; whether KD chose to sign with OKC or the Warriors, that team was going to be the favorites to win in 2017. So how is he now a chicken sh** pu*** who can only win because he teamed up with Steph and Klay? Wouldn’t he have been just as big of a chicken sh** pu*** if he would have chose to team up with Russ and Adams? I mean by your "chicken sh** pu***" logic, the only way KD could have proved his manhood would have been by signing with Sacramento and then demanding they trade Boogie Cousins.  
Q: Informer I love saying "chicken sh** pu***" as much as the next guy, but if I may change the subject I would really like to know what your favorite conspiracy theories for Kevin Durant leaving are?
I have four theories:
  • Nike told him to sign with GS to take some of Under Armor's thunder (no pun intended).
  • He hates getting kicked in the d***, so this was really his only option.
  • Russ told him that he was going to sign in LA in 2017, so the time to leave was now.
  • He is still pissed they didn’t pay James Harden the extra five million.
Q: Do you think the Warriors are going to once again break the NBA regular season wins record?
Let me put it this way,  my bookie set the Warriors over/under at 84 regular season wins and I took the over.
Q: You really are a "special" kind of moron, aren't you Informer? I mean, I would try and explain to you how it is impossible for a team to win 84 games, but I don't think you would fully grasp the logic. So instead, here is my last question: What does this mean for Russell GoatBrook?
I think it means we might legitimately see a point guard average a 35-12-10 for an entire season. In other words, gamble on the 2017 NBA MVP odds accordingly folks #LetRussBeRuss.

(The Informer note: This article was originally posted July 7th of 2016.)

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