The Informer Breaks Down the 2013-14 NBA MVP Race Between Kevin Durant and LeBron James

Just so we are all clear, the next statement The Informer is going to make is not a bold prediction –it is a statement of fact. 

Are you ready? 

Kevin Durant of the Oklahoma City Thunder is the 2013-14 NBA MVP. 

This is a statement of fact because the OKC superstar has led his team to the top of the West division while averaging 31ppg 8rpg and 5.5apg. Basically, this season KD has been a better version of 2008 LeBron James (The year James won his first MVP after averaging 28-8-7). 

The problem is, over the past month LeBron has decided to step his game up and all of the sudden the once obvious conclusion of “Durant for MVP” has in some peoples mind (wrongfully) turned into an argument about LeBron over KD.

In the words of ESPN’s Lee Corso, “Not so fast my friends.”

While LeBron has been great for the past month, do you know who else has been great –Kevin Durant.  Just take a look at their last ten games (The stretch that has everyone saying LeBron has turned up the heat –pun intended) and you will see what The Informer is talking about. 

  KEVIN DURANT

LAST 10 GAMES	POINTS	REBOUNDS	ASSISTS
GAME 1	29	5	12
GAME2	41	10	9
GAME 3	36	10	2
GAME 4	43	12	7
GAME 5	28	8	3
GAME 6	42	3	10
GAME 7	28	10	9
GAME 8	37	6	5
GAME 9	28	6	5
GAME 10	42	9	3
TOTAL AVERAGES	35.4	7.9	6.5

LEBRON JAMES

LAST 10 GAMES	POINTS	REBOUNDS	ASSISTS
GAME 1	31	8	12
GAME 2	13	7	5
GAME 3	37	9	3
GAME 4	36	13	9
GAME 5	42	9	6
GAME 6	33	7	3
GAME 7	31	4	4
GAME 8	20	9	7
GAME 9	61	7	5
GAME 10	22	6	1
TOTAL AVERAGES	32.6	7.9	5.5

Does anyone else find it interesting that during LeBron’s so called “MVP stretch of basketball”; Durant’s numbers across the board are better? 

Furthermore, the thing that stood out the most about these stats is LeBron has three games in this stretch with 22 points or less, including one 13 point game. 

The Informer has to ask: How in the bluest of H.E. double hockey sticks does the most dominate basketball force since Wilt Chamberlain get held to 13 points in 39 minutes? The only logical answer is he gave the minimum effort needed to win the game and nothing more.
This is the biggest problem The Informer has against any LeBron for MVP argument. He has too many games where he gives minimum effort to win. The Informer is talking about games where he scores less than 20 points, grabs 5-8 rebounds while dishing out a handful of assist. Yes, for an average to a good player that is a great night. For the best player in basketball, who averages 28-7-7 for his career, it is a “minimum effort” game. 

The Informer note – LeBron has seven games this season where he scored less than 20 points while grabbing fewer than 10 rebounds and dishing out less than 10 assist. Now, The Informer realizes LeBron only averages 7rpg and 6apg so it is no surprise he would have less than ten of each in said games. However, my point is that even on the nights when “The King” isn’t scoring, he is not picking his effort up in other areas to compensate for his lack of offense. 

Listen, The Informer is not faulting LeBron for his “minimum effort” games. The Informer understands James is going to coast during the regular season at times because his end game is championships, not regular season wins. 

To be honest, The Informer has absolutely no problem with this strategy. 

The thing is, if you are going to employ this strategy and someone else comes along and averages 31-8-5 over the course of an entire season you can’t be upset when that guy ends up being called the best player, or in this case the MVP. 

Again, The Informer is not saying LeBron is no longer the best in the world when it comes to overall talent, what The Informer is saying is the MVP is a year to year award based on who played the best basketball for that 82 game stretch. 

Judging by the first 59 games, the best player in “This” season has hands down been KD.
And as long as Durant stays remotely close to his averages for the next month, then when a perspective voter looks at all the numbers they will have no choice but to name Kevin Durant the 2013-14 NBA MVP. 

Like The Informer said before, Durant winning the MVP is not a prediction –it is a statement of fact.

"Twilight Breaking Dawn Part Deux"

Twilight Breaking Dawn Part II is the fifth installment of the franchise that follows young human Bella and her vampire boyfriend Edward through a tumultuous love affair.

In Part Two. Bella has given birth to a baby and been transformed into a full-fledged vampire.

We follow along as Bella’s world has been changed, so she is trying to adapt to her  new life.

Along the way we find out that Bella’s friend Jacob, who can turn into a wolf, is also dealing with his new life assignment of protecting  Bella's daughter. 

 It’s a wolf thing, don’t ask.

“Informer, what in the hell are you doing?”

A straight foreword movie review of Twilight Breaking Dawn part 2. What does it look like?

“Your joking right?”

In a word, Yeah! Of course I am joking.

Listen, instead of trying to give some coherent review about “Breaking Down Part II” (Impossible) I am just going to give you the rambling thoughts I had while watching. I apologize ahead of time, there is no rhyme or reason for a ramblings article.\

Things The Informer Thought While Watching Breaking Dawn Part II:

I was a little nervous going into this viewing, because I had only watched  two of the twelve Twilight movies, but since this was Breaking Dawn Part II, I figured I would be able to catch up when they did their “Previously on Breaking Dawn Montage.”

You guys remember those from shows like The OC and Beverly Hills 90210 right?. . Teen Dramas always catch you up with a “Previously On Montage.”

So you could imagine my surprise when Breaking Dawn decided to skip the montage and go straight into Bella Brooding. Apparently the “Previously On” montage guy was on vacation they year they made Part II.

 The good news, Bella’s brooding didn’t last long (don’t worry it comes back later) because she is now a full fledged vampire. Of course this means her and Edward can have unlimited sex. Not kidding, the first thirty minutes of the movie is them talking about Vampire Sex.

 When I mentioned this to my imaginary wife, she got mad because she thought I wanted to watch a Kristin Stewart sex tape. . .  I did what any good husband would do in this situation, I started talking about Taylor Lautner taking his shirt off.

Five minutes later, Lautner was putting the moves on Bella’s dad by stripping naked and turning into a wolf. Now, I am not sure what kind of fetishes you guys are into, but Lautner taking his shirt off and turning into a wolf is slowly climbing my charts. Wait. . . That’s not right.

Moving on, can someone explain to me the obsession with hand-holding in the Twilight world? The whole movie was people going around and holding hands. It was freaking weird? Is hand-holding a Vampire thing? Can someone clarify this for me?

Speaking of weird, the CGI baby was creepy. They say no babies are ugly, well that is not true. Sorry to Bella and Edward, your ugly fake baby that grows up to date your best buddy has no alibi. . .  SHE UGLY!

Ok, I am not saying Twilight was the greatest movie ever, but anytime your climatic scene is Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart having a starring contest you know you have cinematic gold on your hands.

Add in the arm wrestling scene where Bella kicks some dudes ass and then celebrates by punching a volcanic rock, well you are on the right track to having the best movie ever made. I am not joking, vampire arm wrestling.

Informer Note – Being a self proclaimed former professional arm wrestler, I loved watching Bella and her perfect homage to Sly Stallone in “Over the Top”.

Speaking of getting your head ripped off, there is a part where the bad guy kills the Cullen’s dad (The Good Guys) by ripping his head off. It actually had me and my wife up in arms. What a twist. Unfortunately, it turns out that was not the twist,  because the climatic fight scene is only  a vision and doesn’t really happen.

Oh, I am sorry, did I spoil the movie? You’re Welcome.

Anyways, which means quiet down the Informer is brooding, the final scene doesn’t actually happen.

They pull a “Who Shot JR” moment and turn it into a dream sequence. Honestly, my wife hasn’t been this disappointed since our wedding night… Easy guys, I meant because the chicken got over cooked, get your heads out of the gutter.

(For those that don’t remember the 1980’s show Dallas, they had a season that finished with their main character being shot. . . Only when the show got picked up for a new season they had to change the story line so they turned it into a Patrick Duffy dream. I am not making that up, Patrick Duffy was actually in another TV shows besides “Step by Step” who new right? Also for those wondering, Brooding is where you make a face like your really upset and or concentrating really hard while being constipated. Now that we are all on the same page this mid article thought can stop. )

But seriously, who in the blue hell makes the final climatic ending to an “18 Movie Series” a dream sequence. I felt a little like Andy after he spent two years with the sisters. . . AKA Violated.

Then again, since I didn’t actually watch all 34 chapters of the Twilight series it wasn’t that bad for me, but there has to be some pretty upset teenage girls out there.

My other complaint is how did Twilight go from being 90210 with vampires to Kristen Stewart brooding and Dakota Fanning Starring at me until I am uncomfortable?

You do have to give Stewart credit though, she should have been given an Oscar for her performance as the worst actress of all-time. She pulled out all the stops. Between brooding and giving terrible lines, it was awe-inspiring to see someone so dedicated to their role as the worst actress in the history of vampire and teenage dramas.

Somewhere Shannon Doherty is sitting at home yelling at her TV “I’m the moody teenage girl who can’t act or tan dammit.”

Did I mention that Bella’s daughter grows up to date Jacob?

We know this because at the end they have a flash forward to the future montage. So for those scoring at home we know what is going to happen in the next Twilight movie, but they couldn’t give us a freaking refresher montage?

For the love of Dracula, the movie was 118 minutes long, there could have been one gosh damn here is what you missed montage? Did we really need the four minute scene of Edward playing the piano. Just saying, next time skip the piano and give me the montage.

I apologize, I really cant get over the montage thing, but I bet if you asked all of the Twilight feigns out there they would agree with me.

As long as we are asking questions,  how in the blue hell do you spell FEEN? Is it Fein? Phene? Phien? I really have no idea? Hold on let me brood for a second maybe ill figure it out.

Thanks to some major BROODING, and Google search of “Crack Feen” I found out it is spelled FIEND. Now that we got that covered lets get back to Dakota Fanning staring at me awkwardly.

She has no lines in the movie. She just stares at you. I kept waiting for her to tell me she sees dead people. . .  Whats that? Wrong childhood star? Sorry I may have been over served tonight.

Speaking of being drunk, I highly recommend you try and watch this movie sober. I took the challenge and lasted a full seven minutes, all the way to the point where Bella is going to eat a human and Edward stops her so she jumps off a cliff.

At that point I handed my wife the car keys and opened the Natties. No, I wasn’t planning on drunk driving, I gave my wife the car keys so I would not drive off a cliff. . . (Yes that is a “This Movie Was So Bad It Made Me Want To Drive Off A Cliff Joke”)

“Informer are you really going to just make random bad jokes for this entire article? Its called a movie review? Do your job you bum. Breaking Dawn Part II is a love story everyone can relate to”
Wow figment of my imagination, I think you may need counseling. First you want the jokes, now you want the review. Could you please make up your mind?

But ok, let me give you a quick rundown of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part II. . .

Bella and Edward have a child but in order for Bella to live she was turned into a vampire by Edward.
Since she is now a vampire their old enemy who is now their buddy, the shirtless wolfman, has been sent to protect the child that other Vampires think maybe a Lucifer baby.

Then the bad guy vampires come to fight the good guy vampires, who are getting help from the wolf people. Before they can fight however, one of the good chicks holds hands with the bad guy who then dreams a vision where he dies so the bad guys decide to retreat.

Bella and Edward live happily ever after while their daughter grows up to fall in love with the shirtless wolfman.

That pretty much covers it.

Here are the five best parts of Twilight:

1. The stare down between Bella and Dakota Fanning.

I was on the edge of my seat because it’s a well known fact that vampires don’t have to blink, so this literally could have went on for ever. Luckily one of the wolf people intervenes and bites Fanning’s head off making Steward the winner.

That really happens, kind of. Since it was actually a dream it didn’t happen, but for a minute my wife was clapping and yelping with joy. In her words after we found out it was a vision, “Wait, so the wolf didn’t really bite Dakota Fanning’s head off?”

2. When the movie ended. . .  Just kidding. . .  But no really when the credits started rolling my eye stopped twitching, so I could only assume my stroke was over.

3. The scene where all the good guy vampires come together to say they will fight. I thought it was the best scene in the movie even if they did steal it from the “Mighty Ducks.”

Remember that scene in Mighty Ducks 2 after captain blood leaves and Gordon Bombay once again becomes a great coach the kids go around in a circle and say how they will fly together as ducks and then they go out and beat Iceland?

Well Twilight did that exact scene right down to the part where Edwards yells “When the roosters crow and the cattle are scattering to the barn, Vampires Fly Together.”

4. The end of the movie look back at Bella and Edward.

Those two kids were so in love.

I feel it is my job to point out that in real life Kristen Stewart and the guy who played Edward used to be lovers. Until Stewart cheated on him.

So when I was crying at the end while screaming “She is going to break your heart Edward, don’t trust her” it wasn’t me talking about Bella and Edward as much as it was me talking about Stewart and Edwards real life name. So see, I didn’t get emotionally invested in Twilight, I was invested in their real life. There is a difference.

5. They left room for a sequel – I don’t know if you guys caught this, but at the end two of the good guy vampires warn the Cullen family that the bad guy vampires will never give them peace, they are falling for the trap.

So, fingers crossed we still have a chance for Twilight Breaking Dawn Ninety One and a Half Part Deux.
I know I will sleep better tonight knowing that there is still a chance.

Informer Note- For factual sake this is supposed to be the final chapter in the Twilight saga. That is why they did the fast forward to the future montage. All jokes about this being the best movie ever aside, please for the love of the eight pound ten ounce bearded baby Jesus, let this be it. I can’t take anymore brooding.

At the end Bella says to Edward “We Don’t Have Much Time”

Edward responds, “We have forever.”

That is a great way to end this reviews, because I have forever to live with the memory that I sat down and watched Twilight Breaking Dawn Part II voluntarily.

“Informer that doesn’t make sense, you said you would never give a bad movie review?”

Well Mr. Fake reader, the good news is I did not give a bad movie review. What I just did was show you a vision of what could have happened if I were to watch Twilight and then write a movie review about it.

I didn’t really write this review. It was all a fake dream sequence. So my claim that I would never write a negative review is still true.

You feel cheated don’t ya? Now you know how I felt.



THE INFORMER REVIEWS TWILIGHT BREAKING DAWN PART II: PART TWO

Maybe I should have mentioned this before, but this fake vision of a movie review is actually two parts long.
Unfortunately, just like the movie I have nothing new to add so I am just going to sit and Brood for awhile, and maybe try holding hands.

Brooding. . .

Brooding. . .

Still Brooding. . .

Holding hands trying to get you guys to see my vision. . .

Back to Brooding. . .

A little more Brooding. . .

And. . .

TWILIGHT!!!!!!!

Like I said Breaking Dawn Part II really SUCKED!!! (Bad Vampires Sucking Blood Pun Intended)

"Something Personal"

This is not going to be a happy blog. 

This can't be a happy blog because this past week has been the worst of my life. 

 I am writing this blog to vent out and to try and figure out my own emotions. 

I am writing this more as a personal journal. 

But I need to write this so that I can get back to normal.

Let me explain,

Last Tuesday morning my baby girl Zoey (She turns 1 on Wend) went into the hospital after a high fever caused her to start seizing.

From 7:20 in the morning until about 9am Zoey had three separate seizures to go along with her 102 degree temperature. 

The doctors eventually were able to get her temp down and the seizing to stop. But for roughly three hours I had to sit helplessly as my daughter was in pain.

As her father I am supposed to protect her from the injustices in this world. I am supposed to protect her from all of the bad things. No matter what I am just supposed to protect her.  But there I was powerless as my baby suffered.

I did what many fathers in that situation would do, I prayed.That was the only thing I could do, pray and wait.  

I prayed that Zoey would not die. I prayed that she would not be mentally or physically damaged from this.

But mostly I prayed for things to go back to normal. I wanted my daughter to be happy and smiling and eating day old cheerios off of the floor because that is what she likes to do.I wanted my daughter crying for Dad in the middle of the night because she knows I am a softy and will always pick her up. Mostly I just wanted Zoey to be okay. 

Thankfully after a day in the hospital and more tests then a little baby should ever have to go through, things checked out normal. Other than a high fever and having to be on seizure medicine for one week, my daughter is going to be one hundred percent fine. . . Thank You GOD!

That is when the Doctor said something that took me by surprise, he said that these seizures are actually very common.

Very Common?

I guess on the one hand hearing very common is a great thing. The Doctor was adamant that these situations usually lead to no long term damage and rarely if ever does the child experience seizures again. 

That is good on the other hand why in the hell is this very common. I can honestly say without a doubt in my mind that last Tuesday was the worst feeling I have ever had. And it hurts my heart to think that this routinely happens. This is common? I feel horrible for all the other families that have to go through such an ordeal. (The Doctor said about 1 in 30 babies).

The helplessness that you feel when watching your baby suffer, the panic in your mind those first few hours when you dont know what the hell is going on, or why. Those are feelings that no parent should ever have to go through.Let alone one out of every thirty.  

It has been Five days and the fever is gone, Zoey is moving around laughing and loving her life. Dad meanwhile will wake up every hour on the hour to check her temperature for the rest of his life, but I am damn thankful that I get that opportunity.

I am also thankful that I get to start getting back to normal routine. Whether it is writing this blog, writing movie reviews, going to work, hanging out with the family or just fighting with my wife over what is and isn't one to many beers. 

I want things back to normal.

Honestly I dont know if that will happen. But just like Zoey learning to walk, baby steps will eventually get us there.

Before I stop writing I want to thank my wife. She is so amazing and strong. If being married to me is not hard enough she also manages to be an unbelievable mother to all four of her girls. 

I am so thankful she was there last week because she was the one who held me and everything together. Thank you my love.

Finally, Happy Early Birthday To My Baby Girl. Daddy Loves You very much. You are the reason for my life and I will continue to thank God everyday for giving you to me.


PS - Please give your child an extra hug tonight. Or Maybe just give the person you love the most in life an extra kiss. If anything always remember to always tell the people you love that you love them. You never know when that opportunity will be taken away from you. Now if you excuse me I have a baby girl who needs her daddy to sing her to sleep.