The Informer's 2018 NFL Picks: Week 15

Q: Hey Informer are you ever going to actually write an article again, or are you going to keep being a lazy fat drunken alcoholic who makes up weird excuse as to why you can't do your job before just posting the picks?

First of all, flattery will get you nowhere in life. So you can go ahead and stop trying to butter me up with all those kind words. Second of all -- and as I said last week -- as long as The Informer's picks are winning every week (three straight nine win weeks means we are winning every week) I am going to stick to the formula that is working. So to answer your question: Yes at some point in the future there will be an actual article, it is just not going to be this week. Besides, The Informer's wife is out of town which means I would have to try and write a coherent article while being Hasselhoff wasted and I just don't see how anyone would benefit from that.

Q: Aren't you always Hasselhoff wasted? Which means you normally write all of your articles while being Hasselhoff wasted anyways? So why would this week be any different? 

Listen, I really don't have the time -- or talent as a writer -- to try explain the difference between being Hasselhoff wasted and being "my wife is out of town" Hasselhoff wasted. Just know it would be a complete disaster that would most likely end with The Informer getting sued, divorced and arrested (not necessarily in that order). So obviously, that means even thinking about writing an article this week is out of the question.

Anyways, now that we are all on the same page as to why there will be no "Informer article" for the third straight week, here are The Informer's Week 15 NFL Picks. As always please remember to do all of your illegal gambling with reckless abandon and absolute zero regard for human life.

THE INFORMER'S Week 15 PICKS:

Chiefs (LOSS)

Texans (-6) Win

Donkey's (-2.5) LOSS

Miami Dolphins (+7.5)

Raiders (+3.5) Buy half a point

Tampa Bay (+9.5)

Cowboys (+3)

Bills (-2.5)

Packers (+5)

Giants (+1)

Jags (-7)

Arizona Cardinals (+10.5) buy half a point

Seattle HGHawks (-3) LKLOTW

Patriots (-2.5)

Philadelphia Eagles (+13)

Panthers (+6.5)


NFL PICS RECORD

OVERALL: 114-89-5

LAST WEEK: 9-7