Here are The Informer's Week 3 2018 NFL Picks. As always please remember these picks are only to be used for illegal debauchery things such as online gambling, parlays, teasers and Super Pick contests. Any other use of this blog, its accounts or any information provided without the express written consent of The N.F. Informer is strictly prohibited.
New York Jets @ Cleveland Browns (Browns -3)
Five things I learned from the Browns first ever NFL victory:
- The 1st half under in Primetime is back (it is now 6-2 on the year)
- Hue Jackson has to watch more film before announcing a starting QB.
- Hue Jackson needs to be fired/drug tested if he watches said film and benches Baker Mayfield.
- The Browns are a legit playoff contender with Baker Mayfield.
- And finally, I learned that #ClassicJohnMaddenMemes never get old:
Anyways, putting classic John Madden aside, here is The Informer's proof of Thursday night pick tweet:
Pick: Browns (-3) 1st Half Under 20 (Winner Winner)Im taking the Browns -3 and the 1st half under 20 points #TNF— The Informer (@therealinformer) September 20, 2018
Indianapolis Colts @ Philadelphia Eagles (-7)
I am taking the Colts and grabbing the points in this game for a few reasons: 1) The Eagles have zero healthy wide receivers. 2) They are starting someone named Clement at running back. 3) Their QB is playing his first game since tearing an ACL (there will be rust). 4) Frank Reich used to coach for the Eagles now coaches for the Colts (insider information). 5) And finally because I never bet against Andrew Luck when his side arm is locked, healthy and loaded.
Pick: Colts (+7)
Cincinnati Bengals @ Carolina Panthers (-3)
As a person who would like the Bengals to move to 3-0 on Sunday I am going to do the only logical thing when it comes to this game: I am going to max bet the Panthers (-3). I am going to place the Panthers in every single parlay, teaser and NFL Super Picks contest I am in. And of course I am going to make them my Lion King Lock of the Week (which is 0-2 on the season).
#How is that for an Informer Jinx? #GoAJGreen #TheSickness #BengalsDey
Pick: LKLOTW Panthers (-3)
New Orleans Saints @ Atlanta Falcons (-2)
Dear Atlanta Falcons coaching staff,
Julio Jones has went seven straight regular season games without catching a touchdown. Will you please do something to change this?
Sincerely,
Everyone who watches football and is completely flabbergasted by the fact that you can't find a way to get one of the greatest wide receivers to ever play the game of football a touchdown.
Pick: Falcons (-2)
Denver Donkeys @ Baltimore Ravens (-5.5)
New York Giants @ Houston Texans (-6)
Oakland Raiders @ Miami Dolphins (-3)
The NFL gambling rules clearly say that when you have mediocre/complete garbage teams playing against each other you always take the points.
Pick: Donkeys (+5.5), Giants (+6) & Raiders (+3)
Tennessee Titans @ Jacksonville Jaguars (-9.5)
My totally fake and made up bookie does not have a line on this game so we are going to have to use the lines from the Las Vegas Super picks contest which was set at (-9.5) in favor of the Jags.
Now, as you are going to see in a few paragraphs with my Green Bay Packers pick, this game is totally contingent on whether or not the starting quarterback plays. So my pick is this: If Marcus Mariota starts I am taking the Titans (+9.5), but if Mariota is ruled out I will be betting the Jags (-9.5).
In other words, this will be a last minute game time betting decision. Just remember Mariota yes, bet Titans. Mariota no, bet Jags.
Pick: Mariota Yes Titans (+9.5) Mariota No Jags (-9.5)
Green Bay Packers @ Washington (+3)
Aaron Rodgers yes, bet Packers. Aaron Rodgers no, bet Washington.
Pick: Rodgers Yes Packers (-3) Rodgers No Washington (+3)
Buffalo Bills @ Minnesota Vikings (-17)
I have literally zero logic behind what I am about to say, and I know I am probably going to go straight to hell for doing it, but I am grabbing the points and betting Josh "The Torpedo Missile" Allen and Buffalo Bills on Sunday.
Pick: Bills (+17)
San Francisco 49ers @ Kansas City Chiefs (-6.5)
Los Angeles Chargers @ Los Angeles Rams (-7)
Chicago Bears @ Arizona Cardinals (+6)
I am going to ride the Chiefs, Rams, Bears heater until she bucks me (fyi - all three teams are 2-0 against the spread this season). And since that is all I got to say about that, how about we hand out this week's Blimpies Best memes of the Week?
Poor Sam Bradford, dude just can't catch an injury break.
That cigarette 😆😆😆😆😅😅
#ClassicKD #😂😂😂😂 #YesIJustUsedACryingLaughEmojiTwice #YesTheBlogHasReachedANewLow
Pick: Chiefs (-6.5) Rams (-7) Bears (-6)
Dallas Cowboys @ Seattle HGHless Hawks (-1.5)
Since I have nothing to say about this game, here are 14 random facts/tidbits/Randy Moss stats about Week 3 of the 2018 NFL Season that I wanted to share:
- Eli Manning (52,185) leads Big Ben (51,852) by 333 career passing yards.
- This week Ryan Fitzpatrick needs 98 yards passing to pass Chad Morton, 118 yards to pass Ken Stabler, 178 yards passing to pass Terry Bradshaw and 380 yards to pass Ron Jaworski on the all-time list.
- Tom Brady and Drew Brees both have 493 career touchdown passes.
- Brett Favre is second all-time with 508 TD passes.
- Peyton Manning is first with 539 TD passes.
- In 49 career games Odell Beckham has 38 touchdown receptions.
- In his last 49 games Julio Jones has 13 touchdown receptions.
- In his last 49 games Matt Ryan has 76 touchdown passes and only 13 of them went to Julio "seriously how can this guy not get a touchdown ever" Jones.
- Patrick Mahomes is on pace to throw 80 Touchdowns.
- For those scoring at home, that would be an NFL record.
- Raise your had if you thought Matt "Breida Mode", Joe Mixon, Phillip Lindsay, Lamar Miller & James Conner would be the five best "yards per game" running backs through 2 weeks of the NFL season?
- If your hand is raised you are a liar.
- Did you know that on September 23, 2007 Randy Moss caught 5 passes for 115 yards and 2 touchdowns in a Patriots 38-7 win over Trent "The Cannon" Edwards and the Buffalo Bills?
- And finally, I am going to bet the HGHless Hawks on Sunday.
Pick: Seattle (-1.5)
New England Patriots @ Detroit Lions (+7)
Everyone say it with me,
Tom Brady in Primetime coming off of a loss . . . Tom Brady in Primetime coming off of a loss . . . Tom Brady in Primetime coming off of a loss . . . Tom Brady in Primetime coming off of a loss . . . Tom Brady in Primetime coming off of a loss . . . Tom Brady in Primetime coming off of a loss . . . Tom Brady in Primetime coming off of a loss . . . Tom Brady in Primetime coming off of a loss . . . Tom Brady in Primetime coming off of a loss . . . Tom Brady in Primetime coming off of a loss . . . TOM BRADY IN PRIMETIME COMING OFF OF A LOSS!!!
Are we all on the same page?
Pick: Patriots (-7) & 1st half under (27)
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Tampa Bay (PK)
As the old saying goes: "Fool me once, shame on you . . . Fool me twice, shame on me . . . Fool me three times, then I am just a drunken idiot who lost all his money betting against Ryan Fitz-magic."
Pick: Steelers (PK)
