Sunday, November 18, 2018

The Informer's Twitter Mailbag and Week 11 NFL Picks




As always, please keep in mind that almost all of these questions came from actual people on Twitter and not fake Brazilian porn "Twitter bots" that The Informer was tricked (knowingly) into following. 

I would move the team to Omaha, Nebraska because I am extremely lazy (it is a side effect from being an alcoholic) and would not want to move me and my family to a new house in some other state.
As for the second question I am drafting: Tim Tebow, Ndamukong Suh, LeVeon Bell, Earl Thomas and Jadeveon Clowney.

 Now, looking at those five players I am not saying that we would win the Super Bowl in our expansion year, but I am one hundred percent certain we would win the Super Bowl in our expansion year. 

1) Fire Gruden. 2) Hire the Harbaugh brother from Baltimore that is about to be fired. 3) Trade Derrick Carr straight up for Patrick Mahomes (I bet the Chiefs would do that, right?). 4) I am not sure who this Joseph guy is, so unless it is the dude that was married to Mary, I'd say can his ass for negligence. 5) Draft whoever Mel Kiper says is the best player at #1 & #26. 6) And finally I am playing all my home games in London. 


Wait . . . Is this a trick question? 


I am not going to lie -- due to the fact that I have worked every Saturday for the past 10 years (being an adult is dumb) -- the only college football I watch/follow is the Nebraska Cornhuskers. So sadly that means I can't give you a good answer, because the only college receiver's name that I know who does not play for Nebraska is Thaddeus Moss (and he is a tight end). 

 With that said; since I can't answer your question about today's stars, how about I give you my top 3 favorite college WRs of all-time are? They are: Randy Moss, Rocket Ismail and Tamarick Vanover. 

It is the same reason people will eat a 12oz grilled Ribeye steak without ketchup: They are psychos. 

Sean McVay developed a system around his players strengths instead of trying to force said players into a "McVay system". And because he built his team around the "player's strengths" and not the "coach's system" he has a team that is making him look like a young Belichick. 

 To put it in layman terms: he is doing the exact opposite of anything Jeff Fisher would do.

I personally think they should make all drugs/steroids legal and let the doctors administer them to the players. This way you have a professional giving out -- and monitoring -- the drug use over having millionaire athletes who are not doctors let pimps stick roid needles into their ass while they smoke hippie lettuce off of a "prostitutes" bare butt. 

Joe Montana, Randy Moss and Wayne Fontz Bill Belichick.

Bill Simmons was the reason I wanted to become a sports writer to begin with. So he would be the biggest influence behind the Natty Lights. 


I will do you two better. Here are The Informer's Top 5 NFL running backs in order: Todd Gurley, Zeke, Melvin Gordon, Saquon Barkley and Kareem Hunt. 


Until the NFL does the right thing and puts the great Phil Simms into the Hall of Fame; I can't in good conscience send any other New York Giant QB to Canton. 

 With that said the moment Phil gets in; I think Eli should get in. 

 My reasoning is simple: He is Top 10 all time in passing yards, TDs and he also has more Super Bowl rings than Aaron Rodgers, Drew Brees, Dan Marino, Phillip Rivers, Matt Ryan, Cam Newton, Andrew Luck, Russell Wilson, Dan Fouts, Peyton Manning (Can you really count Manning's second ring as a "Manning ring"?), Warren Moon, Fran Tarkenton and Johnny Unitas. 

You may hate Eli, but the dude is a Hall of Famer (once Simms gets in of course). 


Is steak better with ketchup? Is Natty Light the best beer in the World? Is The Informer on a diet? Is Armageddon the greatest documentary ever made? Is Antonio Cromartie the father of one of my children? Will six hundred people read this blog? What about 32? Is The Informer the greatest sports writer to ever live? Is the Earth flat? Are Aliens fake? Is the Moon landing real? Does Joe Flacco's mother think he is elite?

 I guess, what I am trying to say, is that depending on the person's religious beliefs --this answer really could go either way. 

Andy Reid, Jim Harbaugh, Marty Schottenheimer, Dan Reeves and Marv Leavy.

First of all Tyrel, I am going to have to draw the line at grammar questions. Those are above and beyond my pay grade. 

 As for the second question (or was it the first?); about five years ago I wrote an article called 30 Reason the 1990s Nebraska Cornhuskers needs an ESPN 30 for 30 that has over 60,000 views and once had a local radio show talk about it for a full segment.

 So I would definitely say that article is my best, my most favorite, and easily the greatest thing I have written and will write during my Informer career (Is it a career if you never make money? Is it also sad when you know that you peaked five years ago but keep trying anyways? Is this how Carmelo Anthony feels about basketball now? Is there a reason I keep asking so many questions inside of a parenthesis? Did anyone else have to google search how to spell parentheiss? Should we just move on to the next question? ). 


I love Peyton Manning. I think he is Top 5 all time no matter what anyone says. But the answer is Tom Brady. You don't get to win five Super Bowls and play in 12 AFC Championship games over the course of your career while setting multiple NFL records and not get called the GOAT.

Ladies and gentlemen is the semi-changed words of the great Bill Simmons: "You these are my Twitter followers". 

 Thank you all for asking some great questions this week. As promised everyone who asked a question will now be entered  into a Twitter Poll tournament to see who wins their very own custom made "The Informer" T-shirt. And for those reading at home, if you would like a chance to win Informer gear, or want to take part in the next Twitter mailbag, go to Twitter and follow @therealinformer.

 Okay, now that the Twitterbag is over, here are The Informer's Week 11 NFL Picks: 

 HGHawks (-3) PUSH

 Carolina Blue Tigers (-4) 

 Tampa Bay (+1.5)

 Atlanta (-2.5) Buy a half of point 

 Houston (-2.5) Again, buy a half of point

 Colts (-2) LKLOTW 

 Bengals (+6.5)

 Steelers (-5.5)

 Chargers (-6.5) Buy a half of point

 Cardinals (-5.5)

 Eagles (+8.5)

 Vikings (+2.5)

 Chiefs (+3.5)



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