Before we get to The Informer's NFL picks, here are a few things to think about heading into Week 8 of the 2018 NFL Season:
Tom Brady is only four TD passes away from tying Brett Favre for second all-time with 508 NFL touchdown passes. Now for those thinking -- four TD passes against the Buffalo Bills on Monday Night Football in 2018 seems like an absolute lock -- please keep in mind that Brady has only thrown four TDs or more in six of his 31 career starts against the Bills. So, if we are doing simple math, there is only about a 20% chance that Tom Brady ties Favre on Monday Night Football this week.
I guess, what I am trying to say is, Tom Brady is most definitely about to throw five touchdowns against the Buffalo Bills for the second time in his life while moving past Brett Favre for second place all-time.
Congrats Tom Terrific. Next up is Peyton Manning who is sitting at 539.
Speaking of the record books: Did you know Ben Roethlisberger needs two TD passes on Sunday to pass Fran Tarkenton for 8th place all-time for most career TD passes? Did you also know that once Roethlisberger passes Tark the all-time rankings will go: #8 Big Ben, #7 Eli Manning and # Phillip Rivers? Finally, did you know that if you look at career passing yards the all-time rankings go: #8 Rivers, #7 Ben and #6 Eli?
Gotta say, that is not to shabby for the first three quarterbacks drafted in the 2004 NFL Draft.
For those wondering; the last three quarterbacks drafted in the 2004 NFL Draft (Matt Mauck, BJ Symons & Bradlee Van Pelt) combined to throw for 143 yards and zero career touchdowns #TheMoreYouKnow.
This is not really a stat, but please go pick up Ronald Jones in fantasy as soon as you get done reading this article. You are welcome in advance.
AJ Green is four receptions away from becoming the 70th player in NFL history to have 600 receptions.
Adam Thielan -- who has reached 100-yards receiving in an NFL record seven straight games to start the season -- is on pace for 152 receptions, 1,872 yards and 12 touchdowns.
In the words of Forrest Gump: "That is all I got to say about that".
This is my order for 2018 NFL MVP heading into Week 8: Pat Mahomes, Todd Gurley, Tom Brady, Drew Brees & then Adam Thielan.
This is my order for 2018 least NFL MVP heading into Week 8: Jon Gruden, Bills QB #2, Bills QB #3, Derrick Henry & then Eli Manning.
Hey this is kind of fun . . .
Here is a list of 13 NFL players who -- as of November 25th, 2017 -- caught a total of 44 TD passes during their career (aka one more than Julio Jones): Ahmad Rashad (yes that Ahmad Rashad), Reggie Rucker, Webster "My Man" Slaughter, Dave Parks, Lance Moore, Doug Baldwin, Dwayne Bowe, Buddy Dial, Willie Gault, Terry Glenn, TJ HoushmanIdon'thaveanyideahowtospellhisname, Nate Washington and Roy Williams.
And here is a list of 13 NFL players who -- as of October 27th, 2018 -- caught a total of 44 TD passes during their career (aka one more than Julio Jones): Ahmad Rashad (yes that Ahmad Rashad), Reggie Rucker, Webster "My Man" Slaughter, Dave Parks, Lance Moore, Doug Baldwin, Dwayne Bowe, Buddy Dial, Willie Gault, Terry Glenn, TJ HoushmanIdon'thaveanyideahowtospellhisname, Nate Washington and Roy Williams.
I will now once again use a meme for motivation speaker Matt Foley to express how every Julio Jones fan feels about the above stats #
Sticking with Julio Jones touchdowns: Did you know only two of the 42 NFL player to finish a season with at least 1,500 yards receiving scored less than six touchdowns in said season? That would be 2012 Calvin Johnson (who set an NFL record with 1,964 yards receiving but only caught give TD passes) and 2012 Andre Johnson (who racked up 1,598 yards receiving and four touchdowns).
Julio Jones is currently on pace for 1,856 yards and zero TDs.
Still sticking with Julio Jones TDs: Did you know on November 11th, 2007, Randy Moss caught more touchdowns in one half (four) then Julio Jones has caught in the past 23 games?
Listen, I know I am spending to much time on this Julio thing, but I swear my mind is actually flabbergastedly (Is that even a word?) blown by this. Seriously, how can Julio Jones not "accidentally" score at least one touchdown in the last 12 games? I mean for Pete f**king sakes a guy named Marvin Hall caught a touchdown pass for the Falcons last week.
MARVIN FREAKING HALL!!?
And Julio can't get one?
I just don't get it.
Anyways, which means I apologize for melting down about the fact that Julio Jones will literally have zero touchdowns heading into Week 9 of the 2018 season (he has a bye this week), how about we get to The Informer's Week 8 NFL Picks?
As always, please remember these picks are only to be used for illegal debauchery things such as online gambling, parlays, teasers and Super Pick contests. Any other use of this blog, its accounts or any information provided without the express written consent of The National Informer League is strictly prohibited.
WEEK 8 NFL PICKS
Texans (-7.5) WIN
Eagles (-4)
Browns (+8)
Donkeys (+10)
Bears (-9.5)
Washington (-1)
Seattle HGHawks (+3)
Bengals (-3.5)
Panthers (+3)
Colts (-3)
Cardinals (+1.5)
Packers (+8)
Vikings (+1.5)
Pats (-13.5) LKLOTW
