Whenever I tell anyone that I am a semi-professional poker player (semi-pro only in the sense that I log alot of hours) their first question always is: "Are you any good?"
My response is usually the same: "Yes I am a great poker player."
That is usually followed up by: "So you win a bunch of money?"
The answer to the second question is actually the reason I have decided to write this blog. You see the last few months I have not been making a bunch of money from poker. In fact, I have been losing a bunch of money at poker (seriously stop playing online poker.).
Because of this losing, I have decided it is time to document my poker sessions to help me stop my leaks, turn my game around and get back to being a winning player.
So from here on out, whenever I play a game of poker, I am going to document it with this blog.
What does document mean?
Mainly it means I am going to recount the evening's poker session; re-live the good hands and bad beats; tell some funny stories; give some poker insight/strategy; and finally, I am hoping I will be able to put it altogether is a fun readable blog that helps hold The Informer accountable for his poker actions.
Okay, now that we know why we are here, let me answer one last question before we get to Day 1.
Q: What makes you so great at poker Informer? And if you are so great why are you such a loser with no friends?
First of all, The Informer has friends. I swear.
Secondly, I am a great poker player because I know all the rules, strategies, theories, optimal game play, etc . . . I have studied, practiced, read and devoted many hours of my life to honing my craft. Lastly, I am a difficult player to read and I am a lunatic with chips (in the poker world I think I am called an Arrgo Maniac) but in a way that means I am not afraid to use my chips as a weapon in order to win (in other words if The Informer smells fear in a player I am not afraid to throw out huge bets I know they will not call in order to take down a pot I have no business winning).
So am I great? I think so. But that is what this blog is for. To figure out that question with actual scientific evidence instead of Informer drunken biology theories.
Finally, to answer the last question: "Why am I such a loser?" Right now The Informer is a loser for one very simple reasons which is: Despite knowing how to properly play the game of poker, I sometimes stop playing the proper way because I love to gamble.
Let me give you an example.
Two weeks ago I was playing with one of my favorite players at my local casino (one of my favorites because he is a diamond member and always gets my beers comped for me which is like a 50-75 dollar bonus every time I walk into a casino). On this particular night the man in question was running out of chips and trying to make a move so he raised pre-flop all in for his last $100 dollars (note-- I play what is called cash games -- not tournaments -- so when I say someone is betting $100 they are actually betting $100 dollars).
Of course since this is a 1-3 game (low stakes) a $100 bet is always looked at with some fear by many of the other players. Naturally, because no one wanted to give up that much money on the flip of the cards, everyone folded until it got back to The Informer. And here is where my knowledge of poker and my need to gamble kicked each other square in the d*cks.
You see, when I looked down at my cards I found that I was holding 7-2 off suit (known as the official worst had in poker). Holding 7-2 off suit means that this is the easiest fold of the day, night, year and of all time. No one in their right mind would call $100 pre-flop with 7-2 off suit. Well, nobody that is, except a slighty drunk having a good time Informer who wanted to give actions (you see for The Informer the action is the juice).
So being the gambler that I am, I looked at the original raiser (lets call him Tom) and said "Tom you always get me free beers and I would hate to see your good hand go to waste . . . I call with the worst hand in poker".
Then I slid my chips into the pot while a stunned table was looking on in disbelief, disgust, disorinated and basically any other word that starts with "dis". They were shocked to say the least(and some probably licking their lips seeing how big of a fish was at there table). Naturally since he had raised $100 pre-flop Tom was holding a mighty Ace-King and was a huge favorite. But favorite or not is not the point of the story. The point is that night The Informer was having fun and gambling (not playing poker) which is the reason I have been losing lately. It has nothing to do with my skill level. It has nothing to do with getting good cards are bad cards. It literally has nothing to do with any poker related material. I am losing simply because I do not treat poker like a money making operation. I treat it like I want to get drunk and gamble. That simple. I am an action junky.
The action junky needs to stop though. I need to buckle down and play winning poker. I need to make some extra money. I need to follow my own damn rules and never drink more that 13 beers at the poker table. And in order to do that I need to hold The Informer accountable.
This blog is going to do that. So with that in mind, how about we talk about Day 1 of The Informer's poker journey?
(Informer note: For privacy reasons I will never share exact win totals or losses. Ill give details like "it was a $70 pot" and such but I will never say "I lost $1600 last night but won 2300 the next". I just dont feel comfortable sharing exact dollar amounts. So in order to keep some records, here is a glossary of terms I will use and what they will mean in regards to money
Won Some / Lost Some 50-300 dollars
Great Day / Terrible Day 300-1000
Holy F*cking Shitballs 1000-3000 day
I'm retiring to Las Vegas: Any day winning over 3k would qualify
I'm going to get blackout drunk for six days straight: Any day losing over 3k would qualify)
DAY 1
The good news, The Informer received 8 free 16oz Beers (at $6 bucks a pop that is $48 worth of booze). The bad news? The Informer gambled on two flush draws at the wrong time and walked away with a terrible day.
With that said, here is some funny hands/stuff that happened.
The Informer raised $20 with the Jack and nine of Diamonds (in 1-3 a $20 raise is an over raise but I play very aggressive and almost always raise 10-20 bucks no matter what if I am playing a hand). The table folds around to one other guy who then re-rasies to $65 bucks. That means this dude has a great hand (either AA, KK). I knew I was well behind, but at that same time I already had $20 bucks in the pot and kinda felt like cracking aces (when a person beats another person who is holding pocket rockets it is called cracking acces). Because of this desire to topple the behemoth, the Informer made the call for $45 more and saw a flop of 9-10-2 with two diamonds (means I now have a pair and a flush draw). Of course the guy with Aces (he hasnt showed his cards yet but it is now obvious he has them) raises all in for what was basically $200 more of my money. Aces or not, The Informer called knowing I only I needed one diamond or another nine or jack to win. Of course a diamond hits on the turn and The Informer doubles up by cracking aces.
Why is this story interesting?
Because the guy immediately gets up and starts yelling how shitty of a poker player I am and how no one in their right mind should call $65 pre-flop raise with Jack-9. He quickly left the table after letting me know how much I sucked, stopped at the front of the room and recounted to anyone who would listen how bad I sucked and then left the casino ( I am assuming in tears, but definitely in an agitated state).
So what was my response to all this: I just looked around the table and said "I like to party".
Everyone laughed and of course started licking their chops to take all my money.
Anyways there was a few other fun stories. One time I called a raise and then bet into the original raiser (who I respected and had alot of fun bullshitting with about my drunken gambling) who then looked at me and said "Did you hit the ace?"
The Informer, being the stone cold assasin on the felt that I am, looked right back at him smiled and said "I sure did".
He laughed then folded and I showed my Ace so the whole table could see how easy I was to read (literally just ask me if I got it and Ill tell you).
A while later after I started getting loose with chips (this will happen when I drink to much and at this point in the story I had been up since 9pm the night before -- it was 3pm -- and had been drinking since 7am) a good player was racking up his chips to leave. I immediately told him "dude you know you can't leave when there is a drunk fish at the table right?" I then did the Rob Van Damn point to myself as the guy left the room. To bad for him.
Last story. Had a lady and another gentlemen change seats to our table because they were upset that someone at the the other table was argo raising and not playing real poker. They couldn't stand it they said. They were there to have fun and play real poker. Of course, one of the guys was the dude whose aces I cracked. The other lady didnt last long at a table with your hero (argo raise is my middle name. Seriously it is The Argo Raiser Informer).
Other than that it was a pretty standard 5.5 hour session of poker. Your hero was up $700 at one point, lost that down to $45, worked that back up to $450 before finally losing a $400 all in when my flush failed to hit against another guy's top pair overbet all in (PS-- this isnt even a gamble folks. You gotta be willing to chase that flush. If you do you will see massive rewards).
On that note, The Informer will not be playing poker again for 2-3 weeks due to real life stuff. But starting with the very next session The Informer is going to start from scratch (marking a Zero in the winning and losing column), quit playing gamble poker (no more drunken 7-2 calls) and show the world I am the Matt Damon of No Limit Holdem.
And at this time in 2022 (one year from now) thanks to this blog we are going to find out if The Informer really is a great poker player or if I am just a mega fish drunk whale who gambles a ton and pays other people's rent.
I honestly cant wait.
#LetsPlaySomeFuckingCards
(Photo of The Informer's poker room. Ill get better pictures next session. Hopefully you all liked the blog. Please leave any questions or comments on @therealinformer twitter page. Also for those wondering, I ended up hitting trip sevens and taking down Ace-King with 7-2. It was a fun night.)
